I actually don’t read their chat logs anymore. I did spot checks for the first year after issuing their first iPhone that actually has a working sim in it. Once I saw they had the basics of decent etiquette down and I got a sense of how their conversations flowed, I left them to it.I still like to think there are some privacy havens left (i.e. PGP end-to-end encryption). Call me naive but I’d rather fight for these human rights than throw in the towel..
Establishing a sense of basic trust in one’s children is something I strongly believe in as well. It’s something that parents consciously need to build and maintain from the very first day their kids are born. As this is key to raising individuals that can think for themselves and have a full-grown common sense, I’d go as far as to argue that this may actually even be more effective than being able to read all their chat logs as soon as they’ve reached an age where they’re constantly connected like the rest of us are..
Haha, well said! To me that shows they’ve reached a great level of empathy towards others as well as trust and honesty with their parents.Thanks for sharing this!
But they know if some sort of emergency ever comes up, like a friend threatening suicide or harm to others or anything they feel they need to bring to my attention, or if one of the other parents or their friends brings a concern about them to my attention, I will ask to see their chats.
Fortunately it hasn’t happened yet, but the rules at least are spelled out so there will be no arguments or surprises if the need to see a chat/text log arises.
A lot of the chats and texts take place right next to me. A lot of the content is hilarious so they just hand me the phone and point and laugh at what’s being said.
The thing that’s driving me crazy now is that all of these kids insist on FaceTime and mine will walk around the house giving these house tours while conversing. I feel like a zoo exhibit: “And here is my mom folding clothes. Agh, don’t look, that’s MY underwear she’s folding”. Then I’ll hear a disembodied voice greet me from my kid’s iPhone. God forbid I stay in my pjs on Saturday or leave dirty dishes in the sink!
So far I’ve been very fortunate. I really do feel for parents of children that have some sort of issue that prevents them from developing normally and needing constant vigilance. I’d never judge their parents for trying a little bit of everything for the sake of their child’s wellbeing. Sometimes we don’t know what works until we try. Not every family is the same.