Just curious how others feel about their family (brothers, sisters, parents). Ive got mixed feelings about mine. I dont mind seeing them at holidays and events like graduation, but overall they all really just cause me alot of stress and grief.
Just curious how others feel about their family (brothers, sisters, parents). Ive got mixed feelings about mine. I dont mind seeing them at holidays and events like graduation, but overall they all really just cause me alot of stress and grief.
My husband's family are very social, but they've learned, when they call, to just talk to him, and to me twice a year.
Many people feel discouraged by others' cheery family situations.
It's best to appreciate your family for what it is, and look at the good that there is in it. You can try to fight it, but it generally just turns out bad. If you focus on the good, it somehow just gets better!
Many people feel discouraged by others' cheery family situations. I just want to say that my family is more of a [dys]functional unit that allows us to better operate in the world.
It's best to appreciate your family for what it is, and look at the good that there is in it. You can try to fight it, but it generally just turns out bad. If you focus on the good, it somehow just gets better!
What exactly is it I'm supposed to appreciate about a stepmother who abused me in unspeakable ways on a near-daily basis for over 10 years and a spineless father who knew full well what was going on yet was too much of a chicken***** to do anything to stop it? Not to mention every other member of that side of the family who was aware of what was going on but made sure I was kept quiet so as to keep the proverbial boat from rocking?
I suppose the "good" is that she didn't manage to kill me. As far as I'm concerned, they can all drop dead in a most painful manner and I'll be only too happy to drop my pants on urinate on their respective graves when the times come.
What, they they knew what they were doing was wrong and didn't give a crap because it was more convenient? Thank you but no.Not to excuse what your family did in any way, but perhaps it will help you let go of your anger and get over your past if you try to put yourself in their shoes.
There were three other children in the house, but I was the only one singled out. I'm supposing it had to do with the fact that I was the only male child, as well as the only one not hers. Given that she made it verbally clear on multiple occasions, usually in between "bicycle accidents" (read: beatings for using an incorrect amount of shampoo or something equally asinine) that I was "in the way", it's a reasonable conclusion.motulist said:Usually parents who abuse their children were themselves abused when they were kids. Maybe your mom was abused really badly when she was a kid. Today at least these types of things are known about in the general population and we grow up with learning on tv that these things are terrible but we can get past them. But if this happened to your mom in the old days then maybe she was never able to deal with it, and when she had a family of her own it might've re-traumatized her, and seeing you as a child like she once was might've stirred up all that terrible trauma.
I'm sure it ripped him up so much that after all this time he still can't bring himself to at the very least say he's sorry he was too much of a whipped pansy to stand up for his own defenseless child.motulist said:And as for your father, it's likely he had a terrible childhood as well. A mentally healthy man would never get involved with a woman capable of such abuse, and a mentally healthy man certainly wouldn't be able to stand aside as his child was being abused. Seeing that stuff happen to you probably ripped up his guts inside like you have no idea.
There is no understanding possible, no forgiveness, nothing. I could tell you things that were done to me that would chill you to the bone, and I have to live with the repercussions every single day. Some things just can't be made better, so I have to soldier on as best I can.motulist said:Again, I'm not excusing what they did in any way shape or form, but if you try to understand why your parents did the things they did, then maybe you can get past your terrible childhood, and maybe that will allow you to feel sorry for your parents and see the good in them that was buried so long ago, and which perhaps might still be waiting there to be uncovered.
Just maybe.
Saying that, my wife doesn't like my family. Or at least not her in-laws.![]()
I'll deny it if they ever found out but I kinda like Carolines family. They're all nutters and they're great for it. Her brothers and sister are good mates of mine. I think I'm quite lucky there since we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the future![]()
^^ That is awesome melrose. I totally miss my grandparents. I am named after my grandpa from my dad's side, but I never really met him (I was a baby when he passed away), but I remember the rest of the grandparents. My maternal ones passed away when I was a kid, and my grandma passed away a few years back.
I wish yours many more years to come, and a lot of time for you to spend with her!![]()
I'm very sorry to hear of your grandparents passing - I especially appreciate the stories that old folks have to share, and it's cool getting some family history from your elderly relatives!