Funny things your kids have said....

[Stampyhead]

So I was at a physical therapy appointment this afternoon (for TMJ Dysfunction), and my therapist was telling me a story about her two-year old son, which I thought was quite funny.

"Jack, if you have a little brother what do you want his name to be?"

Jack thought about it for a while really hard and finally said "Paco!"

She laughed a little (she said she had no idea where that came from), and then asked, "Okay, what do you think the name should be if you have a little sister?"

Again, after thinking about it he blurted out "Boobie!"

That's really funny. It reminds me of something my middle sister said when she was quite little. My mom was pregnant with my brother so my sister couldn't have been more than 2 years old. Anyway, my sister was sitting there stroking my mom's pregnant belly and suddenly my sister blurts out, "I hope the baby's an Indian, don't you mommy?" Our family is of Irish/English/Scottish descent, all very fair haired and fair skinned, so my mom said no, she really didn't hope that. I don't know where she got that from...

Two fun stories from the mall after work today...

Dude, your daughter says the most hilarious things! She must have a lot of personality...

 

[Black&Tan]

A couple of things occurred to me to mention....

When my son was about 1, trying to avoid a fear of the dark, or being outside at night, I taught him how to howl at the moon. When he hit 2, he stopped howling for some inexplicable reason. Now that he's 3, we're doing it again. A grown man and a 3 year old howling at the moon. Sometimes mom joins in. I love it!

Also, I've taught him that at the ATM, when the money comes out, to say "we've won, we've won." I know, stupid, but it makes me smile.

 

[emw]

This afternoon, my daughter said, out of the blue, "Daddy, I just love cows."

Figuring it was because they were cute or because she'd seen one on TV or out of the car window recently, I asked why.

She replied: "Because they're so tasty."

Don't know how I missed this thread before. At least your daughter understands the connection. A couple of nights ago we were eating chicken for dinner. The night before we had watched "Chicken Little". My daughter pipes up and says "Hey, another kind of chicken! Chicken you eat, instead of chickens like Chicken Little." I don't think she meant "animated".

Of course, my favorite...

"Dad, can I have that cup?" she asks, pointing vaguely in the direction of a shelf full of cups.

"This one?"

"No, that one." Same vague pointing.

"This one?"

"No, dad, the blue one. You are such an idiot."

"Excuse me?" I said, expecting her to switch gears.

Apparently sure that I was indeed an idiot, she repeated herself slowly and clearly. "You. Are. An. Id. Eee. Utt. Idiot."

 

[floriflee]

That's really funny. It reminds me of something my middle sister said when she was quite little. My mom was pregnant with my brother so my sister couldn't have been more than 2 years old. Anyway, my sister was sitting there stroking my mom's pregnant belly and suddenly my sister blurts out, "I hope the baby's an Indian, don't you mommy?" Our family is of Irish/English/Scottish descent, all very fair haired and fair skinned, so my mom said no, she really didn't hope that. I don't know where she got that from...

How old is your brother? Neil's sister is 22. Here's why I ask...

Neil occasionally gets grief when his parents and sisters remind him that when his mom was pregant with his little sister, he wanted her to be born with blond hair and blue eyes. He's Indian. So, maybe it was something in the water...

 

[jsw]

Apparently sure that I was indeed an idiot, she repeated herself slowly and clearly. "You. Are. An. Id. Eee. Utt. Idiot."

If this is her at 5, God help you when she's a teenager.

 

[emw]

Oh, and my son picked up a nice word at daycare a couple of months ago. I'm out of town and he drops an F-bomb in front of grandma.

Then the next morning, he wakes up and tells my wife he's thirsty and would like a glass of water. He quickly corrects himself.

"No, I want a beer."

On the bright side, at least he didn't say "Ah, **** it, I want a beer."

He's 2 1/2.

 

[puckhead193]

After spending some time at the Apple Store (gee, what a shocker) and discussing Boot Camp with someone there within earshot of my daughter, we went to the food court to eat. I asked her where she wanted to sit, and she picked the darkest, most isolated area. I asked her why, and she said "But Daddy, I heard you tell that man that you don't like windows."

Was this south shore plaza? The food court their IS all windows

 

[jsw]

Was this south shore plaza? The food court their IS all windows

No, Rockingham Mall (Salem, NH). It's also pretty well-windowed, but not all of it.

Oh, and my son picked up a nice word at daycare a couple of months ago. I'm out of town and he drops an F-bomb in front of grandma.

Then the next morning, he wakes up and tells my wife he's thirsty and would like a glass of water. He quickly corrects himself.

"No, I want a beer."

On the bright side, at least he didn't say "Ah, **** it, I want a beer."

He's 2 1/2.

Must have been the "other" grandma. I don't recall hearing about a heart attack last time I called home.

And, IIRC, you were 2 the first time you had beer. Some older idiot gave it to you... some 5 year old. Maybe your son has heard the stories....

 

[njmac]

ummm, emw, jsw -you guys are related? wow. cool.

 

[jsw]

ummm, emw, jsw -you guys are related? wow. cool.

Sadly (for emw), we're brothers.

 

[floriflee]

Sadly (for emw), we're brothers.

I guess that's almost as cool as being married to another MR member.

but now it makes sense how you knew the exact time he was born on the 6th....

 

[jsw]

I guess that's almost as cool as being married to another MR member.

but now it makes sense how you knew the exact time he was born on the 6th....

Well, I might have fudged it a bit to bit the theme of that thread, but I wasn't off by much.

 

[emw]

I guess that's almost as cool as being married to another MR member.

If so, you must have a miserable marriage.
Just kidding, jsw

Must have been the "other" grandma. I don't recall hearing about a heart attack last time I called home.

No, that was this past weekend. But at least we'd prepped them. Probably didn't help that I corrected his pronunciation.

 

[floriflee]

Well, I might have fudged it a bit to bit the theme of that thread, but I wasn't off by much.

Eh, I just thought you'd made up the time anyway so didn't think too much of it except was a bit creeped out by the fact that you knew that it was his birthday and that you were supposedly "strangers" (at least I thought you were at the time).

EDIT: So the hubby just pointed out the list of birthdays on the first page of the Forums. Eh, I never scroll down that far.... On a related note... happy birthday, AppleSpider!

 

[annk]

...Eh, I never scroll down that far.... On a related note... happy birthday, AppleSpider!

OOh, happy b-day, Applespider!!

 

[Chip NoVaMac]

OOh, happy b-day, Applespider!!

Ditto from me too Applespider.

 

[Mammoth]

If this is her at 5, God help you when she's a teenager.

..A teenager like me, swearing my face off? I don't recall my parents telling me what I said when I was a kid. Besides when I was a baby I would hit my head on the floor repeateldy.

 

[ziwi]

After a visit to the X-Ray technician my son said...

"She was better looking than Mommy"...he is 5

 

[iAlan]

Story of a friend's kid: One day mom hears her son out in the yard yelling 'WHORE' as loud as he can, followed by a 'whack' sound. Curious, mom pokes her head out the door to see her son with his plastic set of golf clubs on the lawn, smacking away and yelling 'WHORE' each time he hit one.

She leaned out the door and said "No hunny, it's FORE."

Kid swings again and yells 'FORE' this time.

HARDY HAR HAR

The funniest so far....I laughed so loud I woke my boyfriend!

And i am a golfer, so that made it that bit more amusing

 

[iAlan]

When I was a lowercase q, I had some funny words of my own. <snip>

And I am sure you were a cute lowercase q. Oh how people change when they grow up

I have always been a lowercase i in "iAlan" as I will never grow up.

I don't have kids, but 6 nieces and nephews and each and everyone of them is the best kid in the world - and they all started out calling me Awan. I have to say that I wish they still did!

I have lived in Japan for 12 years and i remenber once when one of my nephews was introducing me to his friend and said 'Awan is from cheapen'.

Once my sister was introducing me to a friend of hers and told her friend 'He is over from Japan' to which i answered in a serious yet friendly voice 'But I am not Japanese' which always gets a laugh. Anyway, the same nephew mentioned above looked at me and said 'Not cheapen cheese?'

Edit: sorry for the double post. I guess everyone else is asleep (time difference and all)!

 

[w_parietti22]

Apparently I used to think a grilled cheese sandwich was called a "girl cheese sandwich" and then one day I asked my mom for a "boy cheese sandwich" and she had know idea what I was talking about. Then I said, "If girls get a cheese sandwich, then why isn't there a boy cheese sandwich?"

 

[balamw]

Resurrecting an old thread 'cause my 5 year old made me laugh big time at the end of last week and this thread showed up in a search.

He was telling me about a movie he saw in which one of the bad guys was really hard to beat because she had "sidekick powers" (psychic I presume, but since I wasn't watching the movie with him I can't be sure).

He also calls one of the Characters on Xiaolin Showdown Chemical when in fact her name is Kimiko, but I guess that's the price of having two techy types as parents...

B

 

[njmac]

A few weeks ago we were going to make s'mores for a backyard camp fire, as I looked at the ingredients on the graham crackers, I told my husband that the graham crackers had trans fat in them and next time, I'll look in Trader Joes.

The next week my 3 year old says, "mommy, can I please have a trans fat cracker?"

 

[atszyman]

Our nearly 2 year old sometimes gets into a mode where she insists on calling my wife and I by our given names rather than "Mommy" and "Daddy." This is partially our doing just because we want her to realize that we have names if she ever gets lost rather than just mommy and daddy.

One of my wife's friends has the same first name as me the i vs y for feminine and masculine spelling being the only difference. This confused my daughter for a bit when my wife and her friend got together. However upon hearing my wife's friend's children referring to mommy, she quickly put together "Mommy daddy's name."

She has been good about dropping the l from clock and substituting "f" for "tr" in words so we are not strangers to "c*cks" and "f*cks" in our house.

They are doing road construction in front of her day care facility and she likes to refer to the heavy equipment as "garbage cars." Haven't figured out where that one comes from since loud trucks around our house are "garbage f*cks."

 

[atszyman]

For some dumb reason, kids don't come with a user manual or keystroke shortcuts and macros to save you the time those repetitive chores take. Child-rearing involves lots of work, time, and money, and produces a regular stream of annoyances. Having to read the same book, out loud, every night for a year can drive people batty. But then they smile at you with their big bright eyes, or say something both cute and profound, and for some people it's all worth it.

I can't do anything about the keystroke shortcuts but The Baby Owner's Manual is available from plenty of third party sources.