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Gay Bachelor Parties -- Need Advice.

B

barkomatic

macrumors 601
Original poster
Aug 8, 2008
4,603
2,984
Manhattan
I've been selected by a few good friends of mine who will be married in December to organize their bachelor party. They are a gay male couple and I'm excited about making these plans. However, I'm a bit lost as to the logistics.

Traditionally, one doesn't go to a bachelor party with their future spouse. :) However, in this case that would mean two bachelor parties/events and would force the friends of both to choose which party to go to.

Should I break tradition and plan one event for both guys?
 
My buddies from NYC who got married a year ago did a single bachelor party with a party bus thing, invited all their friends (since they had so many mutual ones anyway) and just did a 4 or 5 bar tour together. Every couple is different, but if they have a lot of mutual friends, it would probably make sense to just have the one.
 
GoreVidal said:
My buddies from NYC who got married a year ago did a single bachelor party with a party bus thing, invited all their friends (since they had so many mutual ones anyway) and just did a 4 or 5 bar tour together. Every couple is different, but if they have a lot of mutual friends, it would probably make sense to just have the one.
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Thanks! That seems to be the way to go. How was the party bus?
 
barkomatic said:
Thanks! That seems to be the way to go. How was the party bus?
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I dunno, my fiancee is the one who ended up going as I couldn't make it. She said there were also strippers of the male sort. SO it was fun for everyone...except the straight guys. But she said it wasn't too crazy, but a lot of fun, even if one of the grooms was puking all the rest of the night.
 
A pair of lesbian friends of mine got married last weekend, they had three hen parties, one together and one each separate, many people attended all three.

Why should they necessarily be on the same night?
 
Mord said:
A pair of lesbian friends of mine got married last weekend, they had three hen parties, one together and one each separate, many people attended all three.

Why should they necessarily be on the same night?
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That's true, though if they were on different nights wouldn't it be strange for one of the grooms when it wasn't your night to have a party? Maybe it wouldn't be a biggie.
 
Given that a gay marriage isn't traditional. I'd say there aren't any traditional rules that apply to a bachelor party either. Still given that the intent of the bachelor party is to celebrate one last night of being single. They should be separate otherwise you defeat the purpose of the party to begin with.

Also don't be one of those jerks that perverts the party into some blasted week long vacation three months before the wedding. The bachelor party is supposed to be the night before the wedding. It is a celebration of the last night of being single.

Otherwise it is just a party. Which the wedding would outclass.
 
mobilehaathi said:
Can't you ask them to figure out what they'd prefer? A joint party sounds like a blast to me, especially if they share many friends in common.
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Of course I will, but I like to present them with some attractive options.

velocityg4 said:
Given that a gay marriage isn't traditional. I'd say there aren't any traditional rules that apply to a bachelor party either. Still given that the intent of the bachelor party is to celebrate one last night of being single. They should be separate otherwise you defeat the purpose of the party to begin with.

Also don't be one of those jerks that perverts the party into some blasted week long vacation three months before the wedding. The bachelor party is supposed to be the night before the wedding. It is a celebration of the last night of being single.

Otherwise it is just a party. Which the wedding would outclass.
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Yeah, that's a good point. I was thinking of starting the evening with a dinner with everyone together, then breaking out into two separate nights out and then at the end of the night converging in the place the two of them originally met (that place would be bar that is still open after ten years, which is convenient). However, that's a lot of movement and coordination. At the end of the night, some people may check out early.

ucfgrad93 said:
Hire male strippers, not female ones.:p
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Yep, that's at least one detail I can handle. ;)
 
Bachelor parties aren't for couples. He gets his and, well, he gets his. They'll be together plenty one they're married.

Group parties are fun, but that's an engagement party. Bachelor parties are solo. Period.
 
Tilpots said:
Bachelor parties aren't for couples. He gets his and, well, he gets his. They'll be together plenty one they're married.

Group parties are fun, but that's an engagement party. Bachelor parties are solo. Period.
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My married gay friends would disagree.
 
GoreVidal said:
My buddies from NYC who got married a year ago did a single bachelor party with a party bus thing, invited all their friends (since they had so many mutual ones anyway) and just did a 4 or 5 bar tour together. Every couple is different, but if they have a lot of mutual friends, it would probably make sense to just have the one.
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Agreed- have fun!
 
Well how far do you want to go? My cousin had a real raunchy bachelor party, one of the swingers clubs in Auckland has a "What is it like to be a pornstar?" night and... well... ;)

Seriously though, ask the Gay Bars' managers and bartending/waiting staff. Often the managers will know more about what you can do as they keep connections with local establishments.
 
barkomatic said:
Should I break tradition and plan one event for both guys?
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Is there actually a "tradition" enough to be used as a precedent here? Asking seriously, mind you.

As far as one party for both of them, that seems to me to defeat the purpose of a bachelor/bachelorette party. Just my thoughts.
 
Is it wrong because it is strippers or wrong because it is male strippers? It would seem a little strange to have female strippers for two gay guys.:rolleyes:
 
I know the night is about him (x2) but if he/they have a lot of straight male friends it might be worthwhile to get a male stripper for the groom(s) and a female stripper for the friends. lol


PS, if they remember the night you didn't do it right. ;)
 
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