The Apple car turns out to be a custom shuttle bus for Apple Park.
Well, that's actually the next sensible step for self-driving vehicles - communal people-moving in a restricted environment that can easily be made 'friendly' for self-driving. Privately-owned self-drivers that can safely go anywhere on existing roads in regular traffic really are the long game.
Said everyone in 2006 at the prospect of Apple making their own phone.
A "smartphone" is mainly just a handheld computer with personal audio and camera facilities, and Apple were a computer company with a major sideline in personal audio and even had past experience (& probably a sheaf of patents) in cameras (Quicktake) and handheld computers (Newton). Also, phone makers were starting to add audio players to phones and you didn't have to be a genius to see how that was going to kill the iPod stone dead if Apple didn't get in on the game.
With cars, Apple were pretty much starting from scratch (making electronics & software for established automakers would seem more credible). Also, unless Apple have something
really magical up their sleeve, it does seem that Tesla have already done the disruptive outsider thing. (Come one - if you hadn't heard of Tesla and someone glued an Apple logo on one, you'd be convinced...)
Why would you bet against a van?
This is the company that won't produce a PCIe mini-tower Mac (the analogy with 'some people need the computer equivalent of a van/pick-up' has been frequently made). If they produce a 'van' it will be a gull-wing SUV (except... don't Tesla already do that?)