Getting a Divorce - Now what?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Crawn2003, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. Crawn2003 macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    #1
    My wife told me today (Christmas Eve) she's getting a divorce.

    I don't want it, but she won't back out of it.

    Now what?

    Crawn

    Sorry if I sound out of it, I really am....
     
  2. dmr727 macrumors G3

    dmr727

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Location:
    Southern California
    #2
    Man, I'm really sorry to hear that.

    Find your good friends and lean on them. Don't spend time alone if you can avoid it.
     
  3. Crawn2003 thread starter macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Location:
    Santa Rosa, California
    #3
    I have no friends out here in California... I moved here with/for her...

    All my family and friends are in Ohio...
     
  4. Schtumple macrumors 601

    Schtumple

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2007
    Location:
    benkadams.com
    #4
    That's ridiculous, you move there for her, then this, wtf is wrong with her... Move back to Ohio, call up some buddys, you never know, some might take a trip to come down and see you :)
     
  5. dmw007 macrumors G4

    dmw007

    Joined:
    May 26, 2005
    Location:
    Working for MI-6
    #5
    Sorry to hear about the divorce Crawn2003. :(

    Good advice -- friends and family can help you through this difficult process. :)
     
  6. bruizer1 macrumors newbie

    bruizer1

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2008
    #6
    tell er

    Tell the bitch to bite cha.....there's beautiful women out there...believe me....
     
  7. Gray-Wolf macrumors 68030

    Gray-Wolf

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    Apr 19, 2008
    Location:
    Pandora, Home Tree
  8. Legolamb macrumors 6502a

    Legolamb

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Location:
    North of where I'd like to be
    #8
    This sounds horrendous. What timing.:eek:
    Friends are good, but can only do so much, so don't beat up on yourself or your friends if you still feel blue. This will get better, but it will take a hunk of time. Hang in there......
     
  9. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #9
    Well if your close friends are in Ohio, then I'm not sure if friends are going to get you through this.

    Take care of the "business" side of things as soon as possible, and move. The best thing to do is to settle this quickly, and when it really kicks in that you're now single, go lean on your family and friends.


    And if you don't understand why this is happening, or if you didn't see this coming, then perhaps you should discuss this with her in a few days before going further.



    P.S.: She's a bitch for telling you on Christmas Eve.


    Merry Christmas.
     
  10. Prof. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #10
    That's exactly what I said when I read the OP. I can't believe anyone would do that.

    As much as you may love her, Crawn2003, she is a bitch for breaking the news on Christmas Eve of all days.:mad:
     
  11. Hawkeye411 macrumors 68000

    Hawkeye411

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Location:
    Canada EH!!!
    #11
    Doesn't really matter what day it is ..... I would say that sucks any day of the year.

    It will get better with time. Right now you have her high on a pedestal but if you really think about it, she probably doesn't belong there.

    Good luck!
    Cheers. :)
     
  12. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    Joined:
    May 19, 2002
    #12
    Not as mean as putting the legal notice from the lawyer in a gift wrapped box and leaving for you on the counter as she goes out to a party during Christmas.

    "Honey, I left another gift for you on the kitchen counter, I'm off to an office party ... see you later."
     
  13. dukebound85 macrumors P6

    dukebound85

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    Jul 17, 2005
    Location:
    5045 feet above sea level
    #13
    speaking from experience?
     
  14. therealdt macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2008
    Location:
    northeast region
    #14
    Don't worry. We're your friends.

    Get a lawyer. It's done, now you should start to protect your assets among other things. No way to sugarcoat it.

    I wish you the best
     
  15. sporadicMotion macrumors 65816

    sporadicMotion

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2008
    Location:
    Your girlfriends place
    #15
    I've been there and it's a long crappy road. I have two pieces of advice. Try to avoid the rebound... I know it's the last thing you're thinking of now... but it will kick in and it only lengthens the healing process. Secondly, don't surround yourself in too many distractions... keep yourself occupied but not to the point where you don't deal with this, because it is something you need to come to terms with and the longer you push it off, the worse it gets.

    I feel for you, and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will get better.

    What horrible timing.
     
  16. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    #16
    I have to say she is a bitch for her timing.

    I would say get come consoling for yourself because you are going to need it. You will not be able to really do this on your own. It helped me a few years ago when my gf at the time broke up with me to date some one else.

    It will be worth it. Do it to at least keep this time of the year from being really painful for the rest of your life. Christmas is supposed to be joyous not painful. Do not let that happen because it is such a long holiday. It would suck to have to go 2 months out of every year being in pain because of this. Much rather try to keep it a happy time.
     
  17. diazj3 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    #17
    Sorry to hear that. Take some time off, go to Ohio - family and friends will help, put some distance between you and her, give it some time, consult a lawyer... and stay strong. This things happen, and you'll get through it.
     
  18. JW8725 macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Location:
    UK
    #18
    Sorry to hear this. Can I ask why she wants a divorce?
     
  19. iObama macrumors 6502

    iObama

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Location:
    SF
    #19
    Hey dude, you'll be in my prayers. I'm really sorry for what's happening to you, especially on Christmas Eve.

    And by the way - I live in Sonoma. We're neighbors!

    Merry Christmas, Buddy!
    - iObama
     
  20. wiliamsshek macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2008
    #20
    Interesting, I have come across few websites indicating that they help getting divorced without hiring a legal attorney. Is that true? Can someone enlighten me on this? I need to get divorced as I have a bad family life but at the same time, I would like to not get stuck in many legal issues.
     
  21. sporadicMotion macrumors 65816

    sporadicMotion

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2008
    Location:
    Your girlfriends place
    #21
    in Canada, you can fill out the papers yourself and have a paralegal file them for you... it brings the cost down to under $1000... but it's only really any good when the divorce is uncontested.
     
  22. dilbert4life macrumors regular

    dilbert4life

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2008
    Location:
    Bolivia, according to my flag :P
    #22
    Sorry to hear about that.

    How long have you been married?

    Look at it this way, since she told you on Christmas Eve, now you don't have to get all those expensive presents back from her.:apple:
     
  23. montycat macrumors 6502

    montycat

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Location:
    Florida
    #23
    Whatever you do you must get an attorney stat. Do not give in to emotions or you will get cleaned out. As harsh as it may sound, I would bet that there is another man involved in this mess. Be strong and good luck!...........MC
     
  24. FocusAndEarnIt macrumors 601

    FocusAndEarnIt

    Joined:
    May 29, 2005
    #24
    Unfortunately that is my advice too. :(
     
  25. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3

    TuffLuffJimmy

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #25
    Agreed! Even on Christmas when my parents weren't happy with whichever spouse they had at the time (ohhhh there have been many) they would at least be nice to each other on Christmas.

    OP, if that's the way your wife thinks she can treat you then you're probably better off without the bitch.
     

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