Getting a Divorce - Now what?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Crawn2003, Dec 24, 2008.

  1. Crawn2003 macrumors 6502

    Jul 8, 2005
    Santa Rosa, California
    My wife told me today (Christmas Eve) she's getting a divorce.

    I don't want it, but she won't back out of it.

    Now what?


    Sorry if I sound out of it, I really am....
  2. dmr727 macrumors G3


    Dec 29, 2007
    Man, I'm really sorry to hear that.

    Find your good friends and lean on them. Don't spend time alone if you can avoid it.
  3. Crawn2003 thread starter macrumors 6502

    Jul 8, 2005
    Santa Rosa, California
    I have no friends out here in California... I moved here with/for her...

    All my family and friends are in Ohio...
  4. Schtumple macrumors 601


    Jun 13, 2007
    That's ridiculous, you move there for her, then this, wtf is wrong with her... Move back to Ohio, call up some buddys, you never know, some might take a trip to come down and see you :)
  5. dmw007 macrumors G4


    May 26, 2005
    Working for MI-6
    Sorry to hear about the divorce Crawn2003. :(

    Good advice -- friends and family can help you through this difficult process. :)
  6. bruizer1 macrumors newbie


    Oct 29, 2008
    tell er

    Tell the bitch to bite cha.....there's beautiful women out there...believe me....
  7. Gray-Wolf macrumors 68030


    Apr 19, 2008
    Pandora, Home Tree
  8. Legolamb macrumors 6502a


    Nov 27, 2006
    North of where I'd like to be
    This sounds horrendous. What timing.:eek:
    Friends are good, but can only do so much, so don't beat up on yourself or your friends if you still feel blue. This will get better, but it will take a hunk of time. Hang in there......
  9. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    Well if your close friends are in Ohio, then I'm not sure if friends are going to get you through this.

    Take care of the "business" side of things as soon as possible, and move. The best thing to do is to settle this quickly, and when it really kicks in that you're now single, go lean on your family and friends.

    And if you don't understand why this is happening, or if you didn't see this coming, then perhaps you should discuss this with her in a few days before going further.

    P.S.: She's a bitch for telling you on Christmas Eve.

    Merry Christmas.
  10. Prof. macrumors 601


    Aug 17, 2007
    That's exactly what I said when I read the OP. I can't believe anyone would do that.

    As much as you may love her, Crawn2003, she is a bitch for breaking the news on Christmas Eve of all days.:mad:
  11. Hawkeye411 macrumors 68000


    Jun 6, 2007
    Canada EH!!!
    Doesn't really matter what day it is ..... I would say that sucks any day of the year.

    It will get better with time. Right now you have her high on a pedestal but if you really think about it, she probably doesn't belong there.

    Good luck!
    Cheers. :)
  12. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Not as mean as putting the legal notice from the lawyer in a gift wrapped box and leaving for you on the counter as she goes out to a party during Christmas.

    "Honey, I left another gift for you on the kitchen counter, I'm off to an office party ... see you later."
  13. dukebound85 macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level
    speaking from experience?
  14. therealdt macrumors regular

    Oct 4, 2008
    northeast region
    Don't worry. We're your friends.

    Get a lawyer. It's done, now you should start to protect your assets among other things. No way to sugarcoat it.

    I wish you the best
  15. sporadicMotion macrumors 65816


    Oct 18, 2008
    Your girlfriends place
    I've been there and it's a long crappy road. I have two pieces of advice. Try to avoid the rebound... I know it's the last thing you're thinking of now... but it will kick in and it only lengthens the healing process. Secondly, don't surround yourself in too many distractions... keep yourself occupied but not to the point where you don't deal with this, because it is something you need to come to terms with and the longer you push it off, the worse it gets.

    I feel for you, and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will get better.

    What horrible timing.
  16. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

    Oct 9, 2006
    I have to say she is a bitch for her timing.

    I would say get come consoling for yourself because you are going to need it. You will not be able to really do this on your own. It helped me a few years ago when my gf at the time broke up with me to date some one else.

    It will be worth it. Do it to at least keep this time of the year from being really painful for the rest of your life. Christmas is supposed to be joyous not painful. Do not let that happen because it is such a long holiday. It would suck to have to go 2 months out of every year being in pain because of this. Much rather try to keep it a happy time.
  17. diazj3 macrumors 6502a

    Jan 19, 2008
    Sorry to hear that. Take some time off, go to Ohio - family and friends will help, put some distance between you and her, give it some time, consult a lawyer... and stay strong. This things happen, and you'll get through it.
  18. JW8725 macrumors 6502a

    May 8, 2005
    Sorry to hear this. Can I ask why she wants a divorce?
  19. iObama macrumors 6502a


    Nov 16, 2008
    Hey dude, you'll be in my prayers. I'm really sorry for what's happening to you, especially on Christmas Eve.

    And by the way - I live in Sonoma. We're neighbors!

    Merry Christmas, Buddy!
    - iObama
  20. wiliamsshek macrumors newbie

    Dec 24, 2008
    Interesting, I have come across few websites indicating that they help getting divorced without hiring a legal attorney. Is that true? Can someone enlighten me on this? I need to get divorced as I have a bad family life but at the same time, I would like to not get stuck in many legal issues.
  21. sporadicMotion macrumors 65816


    Oct 18, 2008
    Your girlfriends place
    in Canada, you can fill out the papers yourself and have a paralegal file them for you... it brings the cost down to under $1000... but it's only really any good when the divorce is uncontested.
  22. dilbert4life macrumors regular


    Jun 23, 2008
    Bolivia, according to my flag :P
    Sorry to hear about that.

    How long have you been married?

    Look at it this way, since she told you on Christmas Eve, now you don't have to get all those expensive presents back from her.:apple:
  23. montycat macrumors 6502


    Mar 19, 2007
    Whatever you do you must get an attorney stat. Do not give in to emotions or you will get cleaned out. As harsh as it may sound, I would bet that there is another man involved in this mess. Be strong and good luck!...........MC
  24. FocusAndEarnIt macrumors 601


    May 29, 2005
    Unfortunately that is my advice too. :(
  25. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3


    Apr 6, 2007
    Portland, OR
    Agreed! Even on Christmas when my parents weren't happy with whichever spouse they had at the time (ohhhh there have been many) they would at least be nice to each other on Christmas.

    OP, if that's the way your wife thinks she can treat you then you're probably better off without the bitch.

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