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Girl Help
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apsterling
macrumors 6502a
Haha.
Take up acting, guitar, and singing, as well as songwriting. Write sappy songs for her over the course of three months, all while hanging out and acting very romantically toward her. Then when you ask her out sing a song.
50% says she says yes
50% says she slaps you
In all honesty I know to an extent how this goes. And I wish I'd dropped it. She was in a relationship but was neither one of them was "into" it. It was just a failure. When it ended I waited a few weeks, and then asked her out. Then after saying yes she said nevermind five days later. It's a mess, but maybe you'll have better luck.
Take up acting, guitar, and singing, as well as songwriting. Write sappy songs for her over the course of three months, all while hanging out and acting very romantically toward her. Then when you ask her out sing a song.
50% says she says yes
50% says she slaps you
In all honesty I know to an extent how this goes. And I wish I'd dropped it. She was in a relationship but was neither one of them was "into" it. It was just a failure. When it ended I waited a few weeks, and then asked her out. Then after saying yes she said nevermind five days later. It's a mess, but maybe you'll have better luck.
yeah he's not in high school anymore, but that doesn't mean he has to tell every girl he likes that he likes them right off the bat. Sometimes you gotta play it smooth and wait for the right time, in my opinion, if he tells her now and if they've only known each other for 2 weeks he's not gonna like the answer he gets. There's not enough foundation there for him to work with. I say keep your mouth shut, don't tell her you like her yet. BUT also get close to her to the point where she comes to you for her problems and also do sweet things, NOT too sappy i hate that. Don't get to close though to the point where you become "just a friend"
In the mean time while you work on her, hit up parties and get together with other girls i'm not saying trying to hook up with all kinds of girls but do seem like your occupied. Don't show her too much attention, make fun of her and laugh at her when she does something dumb but not to the point where she thinks your a dick.
girls love to go after guys they think they can't have, so if you play that part where you don't show her that you are very much interested in her she'll give you more attention. Also if you guys go out, don't go out as just you two cause sometimes it'll be good and dandy then next thing you know its awkward so, get a couple of your buddies add a few girls and then invite her to whatever you guys decide to do.
how bout this, you are in Iraq 2006 been together with your gf for 2 years and you find out she's cheating on you back home and you have only been gone for 3 months. Yup guess how I felt, so I broke up with the hoe and came back and dated 5 other chicks before i went to iraq again. The point is if some dude likes your girl it's not gonna stop him it never does. Its all up to your girl to make the decision wether she's gonna triffle or you mean more to her than that guy trying to get with her and she has enough brain cells to deny him.
anjinha
macrumors 604
She's not a thing some guy can just "steal". She has a mind of her own. She can choose to stay with her boyfriend if that's what she wants and she can choose to brake up with him and be with the OP if she wants and there's nothing wrong with that. It's her choice. If she really likes her boyfriend she will stay with him, it doesn't matter how many guys try to "steal" her.
Don't stand.. Don't stand so..Don't stand so close to me.
As everybody else has said it's good to do nice things every once and awhile but definitely don't make yourself out as the "nice guy". If she starts coming to you to talk about problems with her boyfriend or a shoulder to cry on then you are already in friend zone and there you will stay. You don't ever have to tell her you like her, just try to do/say things that might make you seem like a better partner than her current one.
And for the people whining about him "stealing" the other dude's girl, it is called Law of the Jungle. People who seem like a more successful mate CAN and WILL "steal" another persons mate if the other person's human conscious is not strong enough to overcome their natural desire for a better "mate". This is the way animals work and humans ARE animals. Again really the only difference being that our human conscious can overcome nature.
As everybody else has said it's good to do nice things every once and awhile but definitely don't make yourself out as the "nice guy". If she starts coming to you to talk about problems with her boyfriend or a shoulder to cry on then you are already in friend zone and there you will stay. You don't ever have to tell her you like her, just try to do/say things that might make you seem like a better partner than her current one.
And for the people whining about him "stealing" the other dude's girl, it is called Law of the Jungle. People who seem like a more successful mate CAN and WILL "steal" another persons mate if the other person's human conscious is not strong enough to overcome their natural desire for a better "mate". This is the way animals work and humans ARE animals. Again really the only difference being that our human conscious can overcome nature.
0098386
Suspended
No, not really. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years, 4 of those spent at university only seeing her once or twice a month, if that. And none of us have cheated or looked elsewhere.
I suppose it depends on how serious this girl is with her boyfriend. But I personally wouldn't push it. If, under their own circumstances, they split up then be there for her and confess all then. But don't go around trying to steal girlfriends from other people, it's not a good thing to do really.
Abstract
macrumors Penryn
You've known her for 2 weeks, and you haven't proposed yet? 😱
And....no, I wouldn't try anything either. Just for awhile (at least another few weeks), then think about it again, and see what the situation is like. If she shows signs of liking you as more than a friend, then perhaps you can make a move, since leaving her bf was for her to decide.
Until then, forget it.
And....no, I wouldn't try anything either. Just for awhile (at least another few weeks), then think about it again, and see what the situation is like. If she shows signs of liking you as more than a friend, then perhaps you can make a move, since leaving her bf was for her to decide.
Until then, forget it.
Iscariot
macrumors 68030
Right I'm going to clear a few things up. Yes i really like her and yes she has a boyfriend but i am in no way a douchebag. I have morals. I will not cheat on someone and i will not let anyone cheat on their partner if i can help out just out of respect. If i tell her, then nothing will happen until they split up and only she can make that decision, i will not try to force her hand but they are currently having problems.
Another thing: the two weeks thing. Some of you think that it isn't a long time but spending time with someone every day, a minimum of 3 hours a day means that you get to understand the person pretty well and their values IMO and why would the saying 'love at first sight' be said if there had never been a case of it.
And you say it could also be lust. I don't think so. Lust is a sexual desire whereas this is more of the fact that i really like just spending time with her alone and that we get on really well and it just feels great.
And i have not told someone that i liked someone before but made it pretty obvious IMO and that hurt when she said no and i do not want that to happen again so that was the point of the original question
x
Another thing: the two weeks thing. Some of you think that it isn't a long time but spending time with someone every day, a minimum of 3 hours a day means that you get to understand the person pretty well and their values IMO and why would the saying 'love at first sight' be said if there had never been a case of it.
And you say it could also be lust. I don't think so. Lust is a sexual desire whereas this is more of the fact that i really like just spending time with her alone and that we get on really well and it just feels great.
And i have not told someone that i liked someone before but made it pretty obvious IMO and that hurt when she said no and i do not want that to happen again so that was the point of the original question
x
InvalidUserID
macrumors 6502a
Guys are funny. Its OK to go after another girl that already has a boyfriend but when someone tries to make moves on their girl, it isn't OK.
I would say respect that she has a boyfriend. 80 miles away, living under the same roof, down the street...doesn't matter.
Right now, because she is in a relationship, all you can be is a friend. And by friend I mean a real friend not just someone waiting around for her to become available. I had a friend that I thought was genuine but it turned out he was just waiting for me to break up with my ex.
If she were to make a move then OK, different story. But then again, if she has a boyfriend now and would cheat, what would stop her in the future? And by the sounds of her mentioning her boyfriend to you, it doesn't sound like she is interested.
I would say respect that she has a boyfriend. 80 miles away, living under the same roof, down the street...doesn't matter.
Right now, because she is in a relationship, all you can be is a friend. And by friend I mean a real friend not just someone waiting around for her to become available. I had a friend that I thought was genuine but it turned out he was just waiting for me to break up with my ex.
If she were to make a move then OK, different story. But then again, if she has a boyfriend now and would cheat, what would stop her in the future? And by the sounds of her mentioning her boyfriend to you, it doesn't sound like she is interested.
She is not the type of girl to cheat which i really respect of her. And even if i keep my feelings quiet, is that not what i am doing? Fundamentally, i am waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend even if i am keeping quiet and she doesn't know it.
And her mentioning her boyfriend to me wasn't to warn me off, we were having a chat and she was open enough to tell me that they were having problems so is that something?
InvalidUserID
macrumors 6502a
Well, what if were to find out that she had no interest in you whatsoever romantically (she was drunk and spoke up, you overheard her talking with friends, whatever) and only say you as a friend, would YOU still want to be her friend? If she came to you with a relationship problem, would you advise her on what is best for her even though it would hurt your chances with her or would you put yourself first?
There is a difference between being a true friend and someone waiting.
As for her telling you her problems...she could just be very open with people, she might have needed someone to talk to or you are now in the dreaded "friend zone". Or she could be interested...I don't know, I don't know the girl.
My suggestion would be to be a real friend to her. If something happens and she breaks up with the guy, then go for it. If it never happens, you develop a friend and someone else will likely come along.
Iscariot
macrumors 68030
Insulating yourself just means you're going to be lonely in the long run. Rejection tends to be a lot more painful when you let something linger and you let your feelings get out of control.
Double standards exist everywhere. But not all guys have a problem with people making moves on their girlfriend. I've had it happen a number of times, and each and every time it's been a little contest I've won. I welcome anyone to try and convince her that they can offer more than I can. Not only am I secure in the knowledge that they can't, on the off chance that they can then I'd rather her be with him than me. My number one concern is making sure she's happy in her relationship.
Women didn't march in the millions risking their lives and livelihood so that they could be treated like property. You don't "respect" their boyfriend, you respect their ability to make their own decisions.
ButtUglyJeff
macrumors 6502a
She deserves to know how you feel....................
Tell her how you feel, and how you're willing to be friends for now. Tell her soon so she doesn't put you in a place where you will never be an option romantically. And yes, that could happen.
Expressing yourself is not the same thing as forcing an issue.
Tell her how you feel, and how you're willing to be friends for now. Tell her soon so she doesn't put you in a place where you will never be an option romantically. And yes, that could happen.
Expressing yourself is not the same thing as forcing an issue.
teflon
macrumors 6502a
In the end, mistakes become memories, something that fades, or looked back upon with a laugh and perhaps even fondness. But regrets become ghosts, and they will always haunt you. They become cuts that don't heal; you put a band aid over it and try to ignore it, but even the slightest poke will make it bleed.
If you tell her and it doesn't work out, at least you'll know. It's the what ifs that kills.
Get over yourself. I don't know why so many guys think they're some hot commodity that all girls are dying to get a piece of. Honestly, do not do that. You're just going to push away with all your player crap. Be a good, honest guy she can trust, a girl wants a guy she know is dependable and trustworthy, not some pimp that feeds every girl the same line. Speaking from personal experience, when guys starting to act like hot s*** and try to make me jealous with other girls, I just tell them they can go have fun with all their other girls and leave me alone.
You've been said no to once and you're afraid? That's like experiencing one break up and then swearing off all future relationships. You just have to take risks. People seem to have this misconception that a failed relationship is a waste of time. So they're afraid to do something that may not turn out the way the want. But that is so wrong. Every relationship teaches you something, and changes you. Even if things don't work out the way you wanted in the end, you would be happy that you had the experience. It just brings you one step closer to the person that is right for you.
mr?...I was you. I was in this exact same position many times. I used to fall head over heels for girls quite quickly. As munix said...being the "nice guy" is not the way to go. I also don't condone being a complete ass...it'll get you the quick hit (which is what many want anyway), but it'll rarely last. I was the "nice guy" and girls would basically say to my face that they would never date me, because "Awww, you're Sam! You're so sweet!". Yeah, it sucked. I swore I would tackle the next girl who said I was like a brother.
And my thoughts on the two-week thing. I was on tour with a girl who I just couldn't stop thinking of. We spent almost every day together anywhere from a couple of hours to all day, almost always just the two of us. But she had the boyfriend at home. We were in Europe, he was in Canada. She didn't like him. I thought I was in. But even after 8 months of spending that kind of time together, we were still in the same place, even though I was as good as I could be, and we had talked about our/my feelings, and everything. As far as I could tell (and her sister confirmed it), she wanted to be in a bad relationship so she could try to repair it.
I spent 8 months of my life wallowing over a girl I could never have, thinking I was in love. Maybe I was then, but I know now that I would be mentally insane if we were to have gotten together. As much as you think you might know in two weeks, trust me, you probably don't. She was one of those girls who couldn't commit to anything more than 5 minutes away because she overdid herself to death, and like the girl you are after, had numerous guys interested, all of which she led along.
Thankfully, I got over it and went on to much more happiness.
By no means am I telling you to give up. But be cautious. Thinking you are that head over heels for her in such a short amount of time can be tough. The long-distance (80mi isn't very far) boyfriend trail can be a tough one.
I hope things work out!
bassproguy07
macrumors 6502a
do u wanna date her or do u jus wanna get your d wet, cuz there are a lot of girls in college i "like" but dont mean Id date em.
italiano40
macrumors 65816
have one of your friends that knows her and is a friend of hers
have him ask questions like "what do you think of _______"
"Would you be instead in ______ as more than a friend"
etc
have him ask questions like "what do you think of _______"
"Would you be instead in ______ as more than a friend"
etc
He lives in Britain...Boys who can afford to live in the country drive Porches and have private education. We tend not to have Jethro and Enus Jr turning up at university shoeless and sporting a shirtless combination of dungrees and eau d' pig farm (even with a sports scholarship)😛
To the OP...growing up is hard but getting old with regrets is harder...just go for it, there really is nothing to lose in situation like this. There may be some embarrassment if she rejects, but, if you do not turn up for the interview you will most certainly get the job.
Oh and a tip. It is a symptom of male egotism to suppose that women are in the business of hiding there real feelings towards potential suitors. You will know when a woman is 'interested', a glance, a movement of the hand, when it happens it goes through you like an electric shock. It is a connection that you don't have to search for and will happen whether or not she has a boyfriend in London. If that happens...then is the time to start asking yourself the questions you are pondering now.
So the general consensus is mixed but from what people have said, i think i will tell her but when?? Do i do it now whilst she still has a boyfriend or do i wait until a few weeks after she has broken up with him when everyone will be doing it.
And i am in no way egotistical. I have a very low self esteem and consider myself beneath her but it is worth telling her how i feel anyway.
So do i tell her now and stress that our friendship comes first overly and above anything else or do i wait??
x
And i am in no way egotistical. I have a very low self esteem and consider myself beneath her but it is worth telling her how i feel anyway.
So do i tell her now and stress that our friendship comes first overly and above anything else or do i wait??
x