Mr? Be around her (but do not pester) wait for the sign and go for it. I do not think she will appreciate you pouring your heart out. When you get that sign it will develop from there. Women send out more subtle signs than men but when those signs appear they cannot be mistaken. It is not about waiting for her to finish with her boyfriend, rebounds do not work. If you are not getting the signs look elsewhere. Good luck.
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Girl Help
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Thanks for the advice but i am the worst person at reading others - especially girls. All of my friends will be able to see something that i always end up missing and then make a tit of myself by trying to act later after they have told me what it was.
And thank you
x
Funny I always thought it was the other way around.
But the second part of the sentence contradicts the first. How can subtle signs be unmistakable?
To the OP, I say just do it now. The foundation or any relationship, is honesty. If you're hiding things from her, then you're not even building a strong friendship. In the end, she may feel fooled because you have been hiding things from her almost the whole time you have known her. Tell her you love being her friend and value her friendship above all, but because she's such a great friend she deserves to know the truth. People are often afraid to tell their friend that they like them because they don't want to break their friendship, but truth is, if you don't tell her it'll break your relationship in the end anyway. The tension, anxiety, jealousy will drive a wedge between you guys, and you may become angry with her when she doesn't even know why.
Well an update
Yesterday evening, i told her that i really liked her and she seemed shocked, she really did but that was the last time i saw her for the night, she went to the loo and i couldn't find her afterwards.
Well this morning, i sent her a text and she says she feels weirded out and wants time to think alone. Now to me that doesn't sound good Any ideas?
x
Yesterday evening, i told her that i really liked her and she seemed shocked, she really did but that was the last time i saw her for the night, she went to the loo and i couldn't find her afterwards.
Well this morning, i sent her a text and she says she feels weirded out and wants time to think alone. Now to me that doesn't sound good
Any ideas?x
Sounds like it came out of the blue for her, but the fact she's 'weirded out' means you've given her something to think about. Could go either way...
Why.....why would you tell her, did she give you a sign? I guess no as she rejected you. Give her space for a few days (Weeks, Months?) and see what happens.Well an update
Yesterday evening, i told her that i really liked her and she seemed shocked, she really did but that was the last time i saw her for the night, she went to the loo and i couldn't find her afterwards.
Well this morning, i sent her a text and she says she feels weirded out and wants time to think alone. Now to me that doesn't sound good
x
BTW Weirded out is a bad thing I have been told.
Just started uni as in 1st year? If so surely you should be out every night having fun instead of stressing over 1 girl? Uni is meant to be the best experience in you life, weed, alcohol & girls what more could you want? Even if this girl does reject you just go about your business and start having fun. Sooner or later she will see what she was missing....if you play it right that is
What uni are you going to anyway?
What uni are you going to anyway?
Well an update
Yesterday evening, i told her that i really liked her and she seemed shocked, she really did but that was the last time i saw her for the night, she went to the loo and i couldn't find her afterwards.
Well this morning, i sent her a text and she says she feels weirded out and wants time to think alone. Now to me that doesn't sound good
x
Leave her alone.
Seriously, if she says she's weirded out it means she's uncomfortable. I've been on both sides of this conversation, and it's awkward no matter what. Worst was when I was in your shoes, I had a crush on a friend...we were fairly close, had been friends for 3 years of school, she was graduating and she and I were both single at the same time...so I told her. The only saving grace to our friendship was that we were close enough that she was able to explain to me why she needed me as a friend, after the rough year she'd been having, and that if things had been different maybe we would have worked out, but that she really just needed me to be her friend and she hoped I wasn't hurt. (I was, but I would have been far more hurt to lose my friend.)
That summer she moved away and met the woman she wound up marrying. Since then I've long since moved on and am in a fantastic relationship. The lesson is that sometimes who you want at 19 isn't who you want at 27. And it's ok. You'll move on and find someone where the feelings are mutual, and unfortunately this sort of thing is just a good lesson in life and love.
But seriously: if you want to maintain a friendship with this girl, do not reach out to her. Give her time to collect her thoughts and work through it. Think about it this way: you've had since you met her to think about her and allow these feelings to develop. If she's been seeing you as a friend and you've suddenly dropped this bomb on her that changes the dynamic between you two, she needs time to work that out on her own, and the only way to salvage a friendship is to respect that.
if she tells you she has a boyfriend, that is a nice way of saying "back-off a little." she could tell you were into her, and she was hoping you were mature enough to recognize that she wasn't interested or ready for something just yet.
I agree with question fear - just leave her alone... if she's a good person, she'll come around and be nice to you again, but will keep you at arm's length for a while. DO NOT pressure her into telling you how she feels. that is disrespectful.
I was on both sides many times when I was in school, and the best advice I can give you is just don't worry about it - you are young - you'll make many more mistakes... and hopefully you'll learn from this particular mistake.
I agree with question fear - just leave her alone... if she's a good person, she'll come around and be nice to you again, but will keep you at arm's length for a while. DO NOT pressure her into telling you how she feels. that is disrespectful.
I was on both sides many times when I was in school, and the best advice I can give you is just don't worry about it - you are young - you'll make many more mistakes... and hopefully you'll learn from this particular mistake.
That's what I said. If she was interested, she wouldn't have mentioned her boyfriend. And if she WAS interested, the OP would know.
And I'll agree with the last couple posts, give her space. You got it off your chest and will hopefully release some anxiety/tension that I'm sure you had built up during the past couple weeks. But with her reaction, she clearly doesn't feel the same way. If you push it, it will make things worse. When she's ready, she'll talk to you.
If I were the girl and after I got over the initial shock and decided to talk to you again, if you were to say something like "I know you said you had a boyfriend blah blah blah I think you are a really cool person to be around blah blah blah I read into it wrong but I hope we can still be friends" that would diffuse any "weirdness".
I've had guys, that I only saw as friends, approach me. Granted, not while I was in a relationship but yeah, regardless, its weird. But as long as you don't act like a stalker from this point on and are cool about it and don't take it too seriously, there shouldn't be any problems with just a friendship. But remember, give her some space!
Nice guys finish last and its a true fact, they always go after the jock, the good looking guy that has **** for personality etc.. and I've witnessed this my whole life. I don't know why girls go for the *******s or jerks but they do, and the nice guy is always left there. I use to be a nice guy until I got cheated on while I was in Iraq. I use to be that sweet guy that does all these sappy ass things, but when I came back from deployment I decided to run a little experiment and change my attitude towards things, not so sappy not so nice. And it worked, I dated 6 girls within a year and I wasn't a jerk or a douche bag towards them. I played the chill sorta borderline cocky attitude and I had a great time, the girls did too, I didn't break their hearts cause I told them right off the bat that I didn't want anything serious and it went well.
Well anyway back to the situation at hand, I told you bro to play it safe and not to tell her, but you did and you scared her. These kinda things are hit or miss, that's why timing is key. 2 weeks of knowing her is nothing to fall back on love at first site etc.., you might think it is but really 2 weeks over her bf that she've known alot longer and have formed this foundation to fall back on?
Now all you can do is give her time and leave her alone until she's ready to talk to you. Which can take a day or a week or two weeks or maybe she'll never talk to you again. But who cares if you honestly think that she could be happier with you then thats her loss. So now go out there and party, it'll help clear your mind, but have the intent to go out and have fun not go out drink and dwell on the situation and if there's an opportunity that comes up..say a girl is interested in you then go for it do what you gotta do maybe she's even more qualified than the other one, but you'll never know if you don't test out the waters, and if she's good but you want to hold out for the other one tell her that your not looking for anything serious, sometimes she won't be either and now you have some stress reliever get my drift?
anyway if you tap it wrap it, don't be a dummy cum on her tummy.
As sad as it is he(?) is right. I'd go with this, if there is consequences... who cares, you only live once
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA atta boy
I agree with the nice gut thing, for the most part its better to act as a joking jerk
Here's why women don't like "Nice Guys". Heartless Bitches International - Nice Guys. Take it or leave it but consider it constructive criticism and it should help out any of those guys that wonder why women don't like em'. In one word: confidence. Or rather the lack of. I found this site through my own research
There's a difference between a nice guy with balls and a "nice guy". Start lifting weights or something and build up that testosterone.
There's a difference between a nice guy with balls and a "nice guy". Start lifting weights or something and build up that testosterone.
Not only isn't it true, but it seems like the guy who gave him that advice gave him some questionable advice earlier in this thread as well. It seems like the lesson we've learned here is to get your relationship advice from a trustworthy source. (Does this seem as obvious as it sounds to me?)
Walk away, there are hundreds of other great girls at that uni, take it from someone who spent most of uni pining for a girl who wouldn't get out of a bad long distance relationship (despite much complaining and saying she wanted to end it), I wasted lots of opportunities to meet great people and have many regrets from this.
I'm not saying don't be friends with her, but you've been there a couple of weeks. Go out, meet people. Have fun, take every opportunity, don't look back with regret.
I'm not saying don't be friends with her, but you've been there a couple of weeks. Go out, meet people. Have fun, take every opportunity, don't look back with regret.
sigh...
it's the confidence that women are attracted to, not so much the jerky behavior.
no one is attracted to doormats - which is what many "nice guys" are.
Best advice yet.
Uni is the time where you're supposed to have fun and all those life changing experiences.
Go out and get a life
TBH asking on a computer forum isn't really going to get you the best advice