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Girls: You are or You look beautiful ?

W

Wowzera

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Oct 14, 2008
858
28
Brazil
Hello girls from Macrumors :)

Yesterday I was waiting my girlfriend for a date at the Shopping Center then when she arrived I told her:
" You look beautiful today! "

I noticed that when I told it she closed her smile and changed a bit her behavior, then we talked:

Me: " What is up ? "
Her: " Nothing... "
Me: " Serious? You appear to be a little bored. "
Her: " No, no... Let's go ? "

After our date, everything back to regularity and she was ok, but I am still trying to guess what happened there, then I think it happened because I generally say she is gorgeous and such, but I said that day she LOOKS and not SHE IS.

So girls,
Is there huge difference on saying: " You are beautiful " then: " You look beautiful " ?!


PS: Sorry for my english, it is not my main language.
 
I suppose she could have taken what you said literally, meaning she isn't really pretty she only looks that way. I don't really see why that should bother her though, unless she pays attention to the littlest details.

Just ask her if you said anything wrong.
 
Pyrotechnic said:
Show me a man who understands a woman and I will show you a Liar. :D
Click to expand...

Are you telling me this film wasn't real? :(

what-women-want.jpg
 
LeahM said:
I suppose she could have taken what you said literally, meaning she isn't really pretty she only looks that way. I don't really see why that should bother her though, unless she pays attention to the littlest details.

Just ask her if you said anything wrong.
Click to expand...
Thanks.
May be a bad idea, since she's ok now... If I commited a gaffe or something else I prefer she forget it! :rolleyes:

Wiska said:
"You look prettier today"
"You look even more beautiful today"
Click to expand...

Certainly, next time I will think twice before say something about her beauty! Who understand women?!

Pyrotechnic said:
Show me a man who understands a woman and I will show you a Liar. :D
Click to expand...

That phrase looks to be more accurate each day!
 
If she changes her behavior like that and doesn't tell you why, the relationship will inevitably end in a big static pit of boiling oil. I would dump her if I were you.

Tell her: "Look, a relationship can't work without complete honesty, understanding, and connection. I'm not going to be left hanging, desperately trying to guess what I did wrong or what I said wrong. You need to communicate clearly with me, or i'm leaving."

I hate to be the one to tell you this so bluntly, but it will end in a pit of boiling oil (metaphorically) if she is like that with you.

edit: If a woman reacts like that to you saying something a little bit "wrong" then she is either emotionally manipulative, or emotionally fragile. The great news is, you don't have to put up with this. There are women who don't do this out there. Believe me. They're not the majority, but they're out there. Real, mature, honest women.
 
You are beautiful means she is beautiful at all times and it doesnt take a special occasions or effort to become beautiful.

you look beautiful that at this instance you look better then average. All other encounters were not as good.

To add fuel to the fire beautiful is a downgrade from gorgeous, PLUS she is a woman so only God knows if she even thinks about it that much.
 
I am guessing she is annoyed at something totally unrelated to what you think she is annoyed with. It usually is.
 
angelneo said:
I am guessing she is annoyed at something totally unrelated to what you think she is annoyed with. It usually is.
Click to expand...

And I am saying that whatever it is she's annoyed with, if she didn't tell you what it is, the wisest move is to end the relationship. Now.
 
MegaMillions said:
If she changes her behavior like that and doesn't tell you why, the relationship will inevitably end in a big static pit of boiling oil. I would dump her if I were you.

Tell her: "Look, a relationship can't work without complete honesty, understanding, and connection. I'm not going to be left hanging, desperately trying to guess what I did wrong or what I said wrong. You need to communicate clearly with me, or i'm leaving."

I hate to be the one to tell you this so bluntly, but it will end in a pit of boiling oil (metaphorically) if she is like that with you.

edit: If a woman reacts like that to you saying something a little bit "wrong" then she is either emotionally manipulative, or emotionally fragile. The great news is, you don't have to put up with this. There are women who don't do this out there. Believe me. They're not the majority, but they're out there. Real, mature, honest women.
Click to expand...


Most likely sound advice. However, maybe she wasn't upset about anything. People can be in moods and not know why. Only the OP can be the judge of that. But don't put up with crap like that--end the behavior now or end the relationship because it will only get worse. I've seen friends get pulled into a relationship where they have to be on their toes as to not say anything that might unexpectedly upset their significant other.
 
MegaMillions said:
If she changes her behavior like that and doesn't tell you why, the relationship will inevitably end in a big static pit of boiling oil. I would dump her if I were you.

Tell her: "Look, a relationship can't work without complete honesty, understanding, and connection. I'm not going to be left hanging, desperately trying to guess what I did wrong or what I said wrong. You need to communicate clearly with me, or i'm leaving."

I hate to be the one to tell you this so bluntly, but it will end in a pit of boiling oil (metaphorically) if she is like that with you.

edit: If a woman reacts like that to you saying something a little bit "wrong" then she is either emotionally manipulative, or emotionally fragile. The great news is, you don't have to put up with this. There are women who don't do this out there. Believe me. They're not the majority, but they're out there. Real, mature, honest women.
Click to expand...

You may be right mate, thanks for sharing your opnion. The point is that she lives on a conflict of beauty, everyone say she is beautiful (she really is), but every little joke about beauty and such she losts all of her self-esteem!
If she walks on the street and everyone tell her that she is gorgeous, then on the night someone tell her that she looks ugly, she will be literally at the bottom of the well!
She is emotionally fragile, I guess, I do not know what is up to her about it!

Here goes her picture:
ywuzm


Shackler said:
You are beautiful means she is beautiful at all times and it doesnt take a special occasions or effort to become beautiful.

you look beautiful that at this instance you look better then average. All other encounters were not as good.

To add fuel to the fire beautiful is a downgrade from gorgeous, PLUS she is a woman so only God knows if she even thinks about it that much.
Click to expand...

ohh God! It is so complex, I just wanted to praise her!!
 
benlee said:
Most likely sound advice. However, maybe she wasn't upset about anything. People can be in moods and not know why. Only the OP can be the judge of that. But don't put up with crap like that--end the behavior now or end the relationship because it will only get worse. I've seen friends get pulled into a relationship where they have to be on their toes as to not say anything that might unexpectedly upset their significant other.
Click to expand...

Yup, been there, done that. Some people volunteer themselves to be the super-understanding partners of the emotionally unstable, and that's wonderful. I am not one of those people, and I think the OP needs to figure out whether he is.
 
Wowzera said:
SNIPPY SNIP MCSNIP
Click to expand...

From the picture she does look beautiful. Who are these people calling her ugly? Why would anyone say that to someone?

Semantics aside, You look beautiful is a compliment and its generally used meaning does not suggest anything of any other moment, either way.

If she is emotionally fragile then you are going to have a tough time in the relationship. If you really care for her, you can perhaps try to discuss it with her and work it out. If you cannot, well then that is just another obstacle to a healthy relationship.
 
MegaMillions said:
Yup, been there, done that. Some people volunteer themselves to be the super-understanding partners of the emotionally unstable, and that's wonderful. I am not one of those people, and I think the OP needs to figure out whether he is.
Click to expand...

Sometimes I find myself saying things to my fiance that I know my friends wouldn't dare saying to their significant others. I do this for two reasons: (a) I'm an honest person; (b) conditioning--if I can get those comments past her then I know I never have to watch what I say around her.

The ability of both of us to rationally communicate doesn't hurt either.

Sometimes the emotional "I'm mad at you" game is just that-- a game. Nip it at the bud so it doesn't grow into a catcus (or some other fitting metaphor).
 
benlee said:
From the picture she does look beautiful. Who are these people calling her ugly? Why would anyone say that to someone?

Semantics aside, You look beautiful is a compliment and its generally used meaning does not suggest anything of any other moment, either way.

If she is emotionally fragile then you are going to have a tough time in the relationship. If you really care for her, you can perhaps try to discuss it with her and work it out. If you cannot, well then that is just another obstacle to a healthy relationship.
Click to expand...

It was a joke, she was with me then my friend came and told her:
" Won't you present me this ugly? "
Wasn't something like " You are horrible !! " , but as I have stated she has lot of complex about it.

Well, I know her since we were kids, I stutied with her from my 8 years old up to 14 years, then we wen't to different schools and started to date July 08.

Thanks for your advice! :D
 
Wowzera said:
So girls,
Is there huge difference on saying: " You are beautiful " then: " You look beautiful " ?!
Click to expand...
Not a girl, but thought that I would throw my 2 cents in. :)

"You are beautiful," indicates a continuous beauty.

''You look beautiful," indicates that she looks beautiful at that point in time.

When she tries on a new outfit and asks, "How do I look?", you would say, "You look beautiful."

But as a general comment, I think it would be best to use, "You are beautiful." Also, "You are beautiful," indicates internal beauty as well. This does not fade with age.

On a side note, I've dated some models before. Great looking with makeup and such. Unfortunately, many do not have much on the inside are basically a shell. This puts them in a position of being nervous should that shell have or get an imperfection. As they say, beauty is only skin deep.
 
sushi said:
Not a girl, but thought that I would throw my 2 cents in. :)

"You are beautiful," indicates a continuous beauty.

''You look beautiful," indicates that she looks beautiful at that point in time.

When she tries on a new outfit and asks, "How do I look?", you would say, "You look beautiful."

But as a general comment, I think it would be best to use, "You are beautiful." Also, "You are beautiful," indicates internal beauty as well. This does not fade with age.

On a side note, I've dated some models before. Great looking with makeup and such. Unfortunately, many do not have much on the inside are basically a shell. This puts them in a position of being nervous should that shell have or get an imperfection. As they say, beauty is only skin deep.
Click to expand...

As I have stated, I didn't think about those various interpretations, I just wanted to praise her! I should have said: " Glad you came! " :D


JayLenochiniMac said:
Next time your gf asks you "Does this jeans make my butt look fat?," reply with "No, your butt makes your butt look fat."
Click to expand...

Hahahaha
Thanks for your advice!! :D
 
This relationship is never going to work! You can't go around unable to say some things, and able to say others.

If you both really like each other and want to be in the relationship, then being 100% honest could not possibly result in either of you saying anything that the other person should realistically be offended or angered by.

If being honest means the relationship breaks apart, then you didn't really like each other that much in the first place. I mean, are you in a relationship and lying to your partner to avoid telling them how much you dislike them? Why are you in the relationship in the first place then?

When two people each know how much they care about each other and they are fully aware of how much their partner wants to be in the relationship with them, what slips out of mouths is totally a non-issue. If people get dented and shaken by words, then I just don't know what they're thinking about the relationship.

Eventually you and your girlfriend will get to know each other, and when that happens, the relationship will end.
 
Wowzera said:
You may be right mate, thanks for sharing your opnion. The point is that she lives on a conflict of beauty, everyone say she is beautiful (she really is), but every little joke about beauty and such she losts all of her self-esteem!
If she walks on the street and everyone tell her that she is gorgeous, then on the night someone tell her that she looks ugly, she will be literally at the bottom of the well!
She is emotionally fragile, I guess, I do not know what is up to her about it!

Here goes her picture:
ywuzm




ohh God! It is so complex, I just wanted to praise her!!
Click to expand...

she could be a model, perhaps she feels she doesnt deserve you, lots of girls have this complex.
 
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