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Girls: You are or You look beautiful ?

I once knew a girl who ate all the wrong foods - pizza-stuffed pretzels, drank pop all the time, ate doughnuts. She was strikingly pretty and didn't put the weight on. It was rather a relief to be able to joke with her about "That doughnut will make you fat" and not having her take it the wrong way but just laugh it off..

Most women aren't like that. Weight and looks are the two things the western world has over-emphasized. I also know several who really are beautiful (and thin) and are always trying to dress up more or lose more weight. It's irritating. Conversely, trying to compliment them by saying "My, you're thin!" doesn't make them feel any better.

Next time you see her, tell her the sun rises in her eyes. Tell her the stars from heaven don't sparkle as much as she does. Take her a single red rose and get down on one knee and ask her if she'd like to go out for a Whopper.

I don't see what the difference is between the two compliments you originally posted, but I've never heard of a woman having trouble with "you are beautiful." Don't use 'gorgeous' unless you're fairly close personally. It sounds phony unless you can pull it off convincingly.

Gad, I should have been an advice columnist.
 
Wowzera said:
As I have stated, I didn't think about those various interpretations, I just wanted to praise her! I should have said: " Glad you came! " :D
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Then again, that might open up another can of worms. :p

JayLenochiniMac said:
Next time your gf asks you "Does this jeans make my butt look fat?," reply with "No, your butt makes your butt look fat."
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For some reason, this does not sound like a good retort for life longevity. :p
 
kastenbrust said:
she could be a model, perhaps she feels she doesnt deserve you, lots of girls have this complex.
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I don't know, I will be talking with her about it slightly :(
Thanks for the praise! If you see on the photo's table, I am there on the top right corner :p

Melrose said:
I once knew a girl who ate all the wrong foods - pizza-stuffed pretzels, drank pop all the time, ate doughnuts. She was strikingly pretty and didn't put the weight on. It was rather a relief to be able to joke with her about "That doughnut will make you fat" and not having her take it the wrong way but just laugh it off..

Most women aren't like that. Weight and looks are the two things the western world has over-emphasized. I also know several who really are beautiful (and thin) and are always trying to dress up more or lose more weight. It's irritating. Conversely, trying to compliment them by saying "My, you're thin!" doesn't make them feel any better.

Next time you see her, tell her the sun rises in her eyes. Tell her the stars from heaven don't sparkle as much as she does. Take her a single red rose and get down on one knee and ask her if she'd like to go out for a Whopper.

I don't see what the difference is between the two compliments you originally posted, but I've never heard of a woman having trouble with "you are beautiful." Don't use 'gorgeous' unless you're fairly close personally. It sounds phony unless you can pull it off convincingly.

Gad, I should have been an advice columnist.
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Wow, nice advise!
I agree with you! Most of what you said I do regularly, I am the coolest possible to her, we are dating for almost one year and we had only one discussion, that was nothing so serious.
 
Wowzera said:
I am the coolest possible to her, we are dating for almost one year and we had only one discussion, that was nothing so serious.
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I assume that you meant one disagreement. Hopefully you've had many discussions.

FWIW, all couples will have disagreements. People are different. Same holds true for buddies. The key is how you handle the disagreements when they occur. :)
 
sushi said:
I assume that you meant one disagreement. Hopefully you've had many discussions.

FWIW, all couples will have disagreements. People are different. Same holds true for buddies. The key is how you handle the disagreements when they occur. :)
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Aww :(
Yea, I meant disagrement! Sorry!
Thanks for all your advices mate! :D
 
Wowzera said:
I don't know, I will be talking with her about it slightly :(
Thanks for the praise! If you see on the photo's table, I am there on the top right corner :p



Wow, nice advise!
I agree with you! Most of what you said I do regularly, I am the coolest possible to her, we are dating for almost one year and we had only one discussion, that was nothing so serious.
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That's because you don't know each other very well. When you get to know each other, the relationship will end because you're running into problems even when you're both pretending to be different than you are! Can you imagine what will happen when you take each other for granted?
 
Maybe it was because you said she looked boring? (or did you mean bored? that changes the message somewhat) Personally I don't get snippy when someone pays me a compliment. I would guess something else is wrong. Or maybe she is just moody. I dunno. Human relationships are complicated.

And if she wasn't pissed off at you before, she should be now for posting her photo on the internet. tsk tsk. She is very pretty though. I would. :D
 
i would flat out ask her.

ask her if she was bothered by your comment b/c she seemed to change her attitude and let her know she can tell you anything, otherwise, how are you supposed to know what to say and know how she's feeling or reacting to something.

and as it was said, show me a man who can understand a woman (and reverse)....

:)
 
Good luck dude

In my opinion, you're screwed in the long run. Seems like self-esteem issues. Or she was upset about something completely different and was taking it out on you.

Either way, good luck with that.
 
Just tell her she's perfect, i'v never met a girl that didn't eat that crap up. If she's like no way, then be like "When i look at you, all i see is a girl without imperfections. Tell me how that isn't perfect" She'll awe, and you're good to go. Don't use it too often though. She does look good looking btw.
 
I doubt the wording was the problem.

The way you said it probably sounded insincere, as though you feel like you need to say it. Perhaps you say that every time you see her, even if she knows she hasn't done anything special that day.

Personally, I'd only compliment her if she looks like she put more effort into her appearance than usual. You can over-compliment someone, and it can all get annoying.
 
Wowzera said:
Hello girls from Macrumors :)

Yesterday I was waiting my girlfriend for a date at the Shopping Center then when she arrived I told her:
" You look beautiful today! "

I noticed that when I told it she closed her smile and changed a bit her behavior, then we talked:

Me: " What is up ? "
Her: " Nothing... "
Me: " Serious? You appear to be a little boring "
Her: " No, no... Let's go ? "

After our date, everything back to regularity and she was ok, but I am still trying to guess what happened there, then I think it happened because I generally say she is gorgeous and such, but I said that day she LOOKS and not SHE IS.

So girls,
Is there huge difference on saying: " You are beautiful " then: " You look beautiful " ?!


PS: Sorry for my english, it is not my main language.
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And that'd be your problem.

Edit: And I'd take her photo down, before she gets really pissed off.
 
iBlue said:
Maybe it was because you said she looked boring? (or did you mean bored? that changes the message somewhat) Personally I don't get snippy when someone pays me a compliment. I would guess something else is wrong. Or maybe she is just moody. I dunno. Human relationships are complicated.

And if she wasn't pissed off at you before, she should be now for posting her photo on the internet. tsk tsk. She is very pretty though. I would. :D
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I meant 'bored' for her, I am sorry for all those english mistakes! :(
She probably never will see this thread or even this forum, but, for secure reasons, I will be removing it right now, since I just got enough opnions about it! :)

Keebler said:
i would flat out ask her.

ask her if she was bothered by your comment b/c she seemed to change her attitude and let her know she can tell you anything, otherwise, how are you supposed to know what to say and know how she's feeling or reacting to something.

and as it was said, show me a man who can understand a woman (and reverse)....

:)
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As I have stated, she probably forget about that, she's nice now, back to normality :p
I won't be talking about old troubles with her to avoid any kind of problem!
Thanks for your advice! :)

mik34 said:
In my opinion, you're screwed in the long run. Seems like self-esteem issues. Or she was upset about something completely different and was taking it out on you.

Either way, good luck with that.
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I don't think so, she came to me smiling, as always!
As I have stated, she's ok now!
Thanks for your advice ;)


iJohnHenry said:
Perhaps she not happy that people cannot look past her beauty??

And ugly is from within, not without.
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She is a nice person, btw. I don't think could be that... :p
I guess it's all about her beauty worry!

Thanks for your advice mate! :D

Mr. lax said:
Just tell her she's perfect, i'v never met a girl that didn't eat that crap up. If she's like no way, then be like "When i look at you, all i see is a girl without imperfections. Tell me how that isn't perfect" She'll awe, and you're good to go. Don't use it too often though. She does look good looking btw.
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But, as I have stated, if 1.000 peoples tell it to her and when she comes house someone say she's ugly, she will believe on that person! :(

Anyways, thanks for your advice mate! :D


Abstract said:
I doubt the wording was the problem.

The way you said it probably sounded insincere, as though you feel like you need to say it. Perhaps you say that every time you see her, even if she knows she hasn't done anything special that day.

Personally, I'd only compliment her if she looks like she put more effort into her appearance than usual. You can over-compliment someone, and it can all get annoying.
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I have never thought that way, I will follow your advice, thank you mate!


allmIne said:
And that'd be your problem.

Edit: And I'd take her photo down, before she gets really pissed off.
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I will be taking her photo down right now :)
Thanks mate!
 
Perhaps you didn't sufficiently emphasise today? As in, "you look beautiful today" :)

eldy said:
You have to keep women in check. They have to earn the compliments that they receive.
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So true. But not just women. Everyone should earn their compliments.

JayLenochiniMac said:
Next time your gf asks you "Does this jeans make my butt look fat?," reply with "No, your butt makes your butt look fat."
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I try to take it up another notch: "No, your fat ass makes your fat ass look fat". That's really only survivable if you've previously mentioned your admiration for their fat ass: "My god I want to make love to your fat ass!"

Sadly, I'm now dating a slim girl, so I've had to flip to anorexia jokes.
 
You Look Beautiful implies something they have done has made them look beautiful, where as You Are Beautiful implies that they themselves are beautiful, not anything they have done to alter there appearance.

Depends when you are complementing, day to day i would use 'Are', but going out for dinner etc, i would say 'look'
 
My advice is going to be harsh, so take it how you want.

Wear the pants. Be the male. If I give a woman a compliment, they know that they deserve it. Sure, it is nice to tell your significant other, girlfriend (or whatever), that they look beautiful all the time. But if you say this all the time, it becomes natural for them to hear it, and they don't appreciate it as much.

Save the compliments for when they're deserved. If, in that case, she took it the wrong way, that is her problem. If you feel bad about it, you are being weak. If you're with a strong woman, and you act weak, she will leave you for something else.

These are just my experiences. I believe woman want a man who is strong, says what he means and means what he says. I've had 2 girls I've loved in my life (other than family), and I would tell them rarely. They knew it, but for me to tell them "I love you", it would have to be the right time. Not when I hang up the phone with them, go to work, etc. They know I love them, or I wouldn't be there.
 
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