Glancing at your Watch, people feel like you're rushing them

[Arran]

PS. Apparently most people disagree with you judging by the 29 upvotes and counting on post #6.

I think the numerous up-votes have more to do with a large number of people understanding that it is rude, in itself, to point out the rudeness of others. Particularly when done arrogantly, cockily, or ham-fistedly.

There. I've gone and done it myself now. Thanks for nothing OP!

 

[MH01]

society does not need to change OP, its about being polite and interaction. The issue you have raised here is about interaction with people, and with the advent of smartphones and now smart watches, I would say that people have become more selfish and rude.

If I went out to dinner with someone, and they checked their phone or watch every-time they got a notification, I would consider them to be rude. Maybe you should reply the scenario that happened and put yourself in the shoes of the customer?

Just something to think about.....

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I agree with you. Never would I expect for someone to feel "rushed" because I looked at my watch. And my friends (15,16 years old) are use to phones. So when I look at my watch they don't think anything of it.

But I will defiantly keep in mind old farts get offended easily

I thought all young people just communicated via messenger, sms, emoji etc etc.... you mean you guys still "talk" to each other.... NO WAY!

 

[The Doctor11]

I thought all young people just communicated via messenger, sms, emoji etc etc.... you mean you guys still "talk" to each other.... NO WAY!

Yep. School still hasn't gone anywhere.

 

[zmunkz]

Unfortunately the OP's flippancy and rude responses has undermined his position, which could have otherwise been defended with open discussion.

Of course social normalcy has to change... It does every single time new technology offsets the equilibrium. If you are in someone's home and their landline rings, almost nobody would call it rude for them to answer. When someone is on-call for work and has to dismiss themselves after getting paged, nobody can call that rude. None of these rules pre-existed in society -- obviously! No doubt you can summon dozens of other examples to mind where an action would once have been rude and even misunderstood and is now totally innocuous.

New technology always leads to a division with some people overusing it and being called rude, others resisting change and being call judgmental... That is until social normalcy rebalances and an acceptable usage of the new tech emerges. The same will happen for wearables.

 

[iBlazed]

Unfortunately the OP's flippancy and rude responses has undermined his position, which could have otherwise been defended with open discussion.

No it couldn't have. if they had no interest in reading the OP and understanding the actual scenario, then they had no interest in hearing anything other than the opinion they had already decided on before even clicking the thread title. It was all about jumping on the bandwagon to bash the OP. Therefore, I feel I have nothing to defend. I've been on forums long enough to get a kick out of these people simply by not taking their troll bait and not responding to the defensive reaction they're attempting to get out of me. I haven't been rude in the least bit, I just reply with the appropriate level of smugness.

 

[MH01]

No it couldn't have. if they had no interest in reading the OP and understanding the actual scenario, then they had no interest in hearing anything other than the opinion they had already decided on before even clicking the thread title. It was all about jumping on the bandwagon to bash the OP. Therefore, I feel I have nothing to defend. I've been on forums long enough to get a kick out of these people simply by not taking their troll bait and not responding to the defensive reaction they're attempting to get out of me. I haven't been rude in the least bit, I just reply with the appropriate level of smugness.

You are referring to yourself in the 3rd person.... Enough said.

What could have been a sensible discussion, you have derailed being 'smug' and adding fuel. You are not the victim here.

 

[Squid7085]

This is a behavior I noticed when I first started wearing the Pebble. I, like many others, had this idea that having glanceable information on my watch would be less distracting and rude than grabbing my phone.

In practice I realized quite the opposite, society has been conditioned for when a person pulls out their phone to check it, they were either expecting something important or are just flat out rude. Pulling out a phone when it is ringing or when it buzzes and checking it followed by the quick "Sorry about that" is socially acceptable in most situations.

Since the watch by design is not supposed to announce the fact that anything is happening, others don't get that visual or auditory cue that you might check your phone. And since we think it is "quiet" we don't feel the need to apologize for the interruption. Thus the problem of looking at the watch, which most people equate with "Yeah, hurry up, I got things to do."

It's really something that will be fixed on both sides. Society will better understand that watches can display more than just time, and the persons wearing the watches will "hopefully" be more conscious of when they look at it, and how they handle a situation where they do look.

I personally have realized that in active conversation to keep myself from looking at the watch. However, there are still societal norms that will have to be formed around it as well. Now that the Apple Watch is out there, public knowledge of "wrist notifications" is much more known. Back when I was wearing the Pebble it was a foreign concept to most.

 

[iBlazed]

You are referring to yourself in the 3rd person.... Enough said.

What could have been a sensible discussion, you have derailed being 'smug' and adding fuel. You are not the victim here.

Again, no it couldn't have been a sensible discussion. This is a forum, once people start bashing you can refute them and defend yourself til you're blue in the face. Not worth it, especially if they hijack your thread and create their own discussion topic separate from the one you were trying to discuss. I don't put up with this in real life, and it's served me well. Many frustration free years. I apply that same logic here. Seems to drive some people crazy when they can't provoke you like they wish they could have. If you don't like my reaction, move on to Teach4's threads. She's the queen of self doubting and defensiveness. You might even get an apology out of her.

 

[Night Spring]

...by not taking their troll bait and not responding to the defensive reaction they're attempting to get out of me. I haven't been rude in the least bit, I just reply with the appropriate level of smugness.

But you *have been* responding to their posts. It seems to me that every time someone posts something critical of you, you make it a point to respond. I don't exactly agree with you that posts regarding iPhone etiquette don't belong in this thread, but if you truly believe that those posts are trolling, then you are just feeding the trolls by continually responding.

Also, in my experience, "responding with the appropriate level of smugness" doesn't help diffuse the situation. If you are truly interested in keeping this thread on topic, the thing to do is stop responding to posts you believe to be off-topic, and respond only to posters who are trying to carry on the discussion in the spirit you originally intended. There have been some of those, too.

But I do think some comparison between smartphone use and smartwatch use in this thread is inevitable, if only because of the similarities in their functions.

 

[parseckadet]

society does not need to change OP, its about being polite and interaction. The issue you have raised here is about interaction with people, and with the advent of smartphones and now smart watches, I would say that people have become more selfish and rude.

If I went out to dinner with someone, and they checked their phone or watch every-time they got a notification, I would consider them to be rude. Maybe you should reply the scenario that happened and put yourself in the shoes of the customer?

Just something to think about.....

You make it sound as though the OP was checking his watch every two seconds while helping this customer. He's already said that he had been helping her for over 15 minutes when this interaction took place. You can hold the opinion that even so it was still rude, but you're also being unfair by construing it to be more severe than the OP has clearly explained it to be.

And let's examine this a bit further. 15 minutes is quite a lengthy interaction in a retail setting. Hell, when I talk to someone at Best Buy or Home Depot they'll barely even break their stride to talk to me. I think this shows that the OP treated the customer well overall.

Also, notice that the OP didn't say that he should be able to check his watch and the customer should just be OK with it. No, he said that while the response surprised him that he would be more mindful in the future. He then concluded that as time went on society would eventually adjust. Not that society should just immediately view his actions as acceptable. He's never taken the attitude that the customer should have just gotten over her reaction and swallowed her tongue.

 

[DDustiNN]

This is a behavior I noticed when I first started wearing the Pebble. I, like many others, had this idea that having glanceable information on my watch would be less distracting and rude than grabbing my phone.

In practice I realized quite the opposite, society has been conditioned for when a person pulls out their phone to check it, they were either expecting something important or are just flat out rude. Pulling out a phone when it is ringing or when it buzzes and checking it followed by the quick "Sorry about that" is socially acceptable in most situations.

Since the watch by design is not supposed to announce the fact that anything is happening, others don't get that visual or auditory cue that you might check your phone. And since we think it is "quiet" we don't feel the need to apologize for the interruption. Thus the problem of looking at the watch, which most people equate with "Yeah, hurry up, I got things to do."

It's really something that will be fixed on both sides. Society will better understand that watches can display more than just time, and the persons wearing the watches will "hopefully" be more conscious of when they look at it, and how they handle a situation where they do look.

I personally have realized that in active conversation to keep myself from looking at the watch. However, there are still societal norms that will have to be formed around it as well. Now that the Apple Watch is out there, public knowledge of "wrist notifications" is much more known. Back when I was wearing the Pebble it was a foreign concept to most.

This is the best post so far.

 

[iBlazed]

You make it sound as though the OP was checking his watch every two seconds while helping this customer. He's already said that he had been helping her for over 15 minutes when this interaction took place. You can hold the opinion that even so it was still rude, but you're also being unfair by construing it to be more severe than the OP has clearly explained it to be.

And let's examine this a bit further. 15 minutes is quite a lengthy interaction in a retail setting. Hell, when I talk to someone at Best Buy or Home Depot they'll barely even break their stride to talk to me. I think this shows that the OP treated the customer well overall.

Also, notice that the OP didn't say that he should be able to check his watch and the customer should just be OK with it. No, he said that while the response surprised him that he would be more mindful in the future. He then concluded that as time went on society would eventually adjust. Not that society should just immediately view his actions as acceptable. He's never taken the attitude that the customer should have just gotten over her reaction and swallowed her tongue.

Wow, someone actually read what I wrote. Thank you for not jumping on the bandwagon. The way you describe the scenario is 100% accurate. It's the point I was trying to get across from my first post, but by the time the thread got to the end of its first page it became obvious that certain people had no intention of actually reading my words and were quick to jump on the bandwagon to bash me. Oh well, That's the Internet for ya.

 

[mikezmac]

No different than looking through your phone while someone is talking to you.

God that drives me nuts talking to someone poking at their phone. At least the watch is like a 10 second glance at most,,,

So rude

 

[iBlazed]

At least the watch is like a 10 second glance at most,,,

Not even. It was literally a one second glance just to see what the notification was while my back was turned, I wasn't even planning on answering it until after the customer left. But you know, I'm just the worst most rudest person in the whole world.

 

[gugy]

The international sign of disinterest or being in a rush is looking at your watch. I was helping my dad out at his business, and while I had my back turned to the customer to grab something off the shelf I naturally glanced at my watch when I felt a tap and the customer said "are you about to go on lunch?". At first I was confused why she would ask that and said no, but after a few seconds I realized that society still needs time to adjust to smartwatches and the fact that looking at your watch no longer just means checking the time. Never having owned a watch before the Apple Watch, this sometimes escapes me when I look down at it. I'll need to be more vigilant about checking my Watch in front of people I don't know so it doesn't get perceived as rude. Society will need some time to adjust body language perceptions to this new technology.

I think all comes down to good manners and awareness. When I am talking with someone I try to give full attention. Put away my phone and in this case the watch is another distraction.
If you are on a business interaction this is a priority.

 

[nebo1ss]

I don't see why etiquette only applies to people in your immediate proximity, when we live in a world of long range communications. If my mother needs to speak with me and calls, why is that immediately undervalued compred to a friend that happens to be near me telling me about their drinking escapades of the night before? Also as a business owner, calls and messages come to me all the time that often require immediate responses. I claim the right to review the queries for my time and prioritize them accordingly, no matter if they are from someone in fromt of me, someone who taps me on the shoulder while im in the middle of a conversation, or even from a buzz on my phone or a tap at my wrist.

I do think it is society that needs to adjust to the fact that we can connect with important people in our life without direct physical proximity. It didn't used to be that way, and now it is.

When people talk about seeing others mindlessly immersed in their phones at restaurants, I think in most cases that is actually a different thing. Passively browsing instagram or facebook or playing angry birds is a totally different thing than responding to a live-person notification. I completely agree it is rude as anything and the fault of the individual, when they choose to remove themselves from the immediate social situation just because they are bored.

I think the distinction between those use cases should be highlighted.

The problem the OP mentions is a real one. People are accustomed to a watch telling you one thing: the time. They are NOT accustomed to the wach trying to get your attention, and so the act of checking it has the insinuation of boredom or anti-social distraction, and hence the reaction. Once people realize that the watch is actively informing people of messages and calls and select emails, I think this reaction will change. It as the same difference as described above... Is the user being queried for their time, or is the user disinterested in their present surroundings. One is rude, the other -- if not strictly polite -- is at least warranted.

Edit: I'm speaking more in general social environments... Obviously there are situations where it is not appropriate to check notifications at all, and the OP's work environment might be one of those situations.

In the example you gave it is very simple to explain to the person you are with that the call is from your Mother and you need to take it. There was an example in the news recently where the checkout girl in the supermarket refused to serve a customer until he put his phone away. Many seem to have lost the plot when it comes to Technology. Someone even suggested in an earlier response that it is common for smart phones to be used in meetings. That is totally unacceptable, the reason you are in a meeting is that it is considered you might have something to contribute. If you are not paying attention you should not be there. What I find very strange is to see two people at Dinner each using their smart phone. The art of conversation and social interaction appears to be on the way out.

 

[Night Spring]

What I find very strange is to see two people at Dinner each using their smart phone.

I have to admit that me and my partner do this quite often, but we've been together for over twenty years. I think we do talk to each other quite often, just not while waiting for our dinner orders!

And we do make it a point to put away our phones when we are out for a nice meal, but we also often eat out because we don't have time / are too tired to cook, and that is when our phones tend to come out.

 

[RickInHouston]

Except that traditional watches never tapped you to look at them. The Apple watch taps, and it's reflex -- you look at it unless you are involved in something else that precludes looking at your wrist. I think OP would have been able to ignore the watch if he had been actually talking with the customer. But he was turned away, and the watch tapped. In such a situation, I would have looked down at the watch before I was even consciously aware I was doing so. And I think before too long this would be a well recognized behavior. Whether it would be considered socially acceptable is another question.

Isn't it sort of like saying, "I'm more important than you. Let me check my Facebook feed before I finish up with you.?."

It is to me.

 

[zmunkz]

In the example you gave it is very simple to explain to the person you are with that the call is from your Mother and you need to take it. There was an example in the news recently where the checkout girl in the supermarket refused to serve a customer until he put his phone away. Many seem to have lost the plot when it comes to Technology. Someone even suggested in an earlier response that it is common for smart phones to be used in meetings. That is totally unacceptable, the reason you are in a meeting is that it is considered you might have something to contribute. If you are not paying attention you should not be there. What I find very strange is to see two people at Dinner each using their smart phone. The art of conversation and social interaction appears to be on the way out.

Right but the problem is I don't know who needs my time just from the tap... I have to check and see, and most times I will decide the bid for my attentions is less important than the current social interaction and put the watch back down without further comment. Once I see my mother, keeping with the example I used before, I can explain and excuse myself. But how can I know without checking? And why is it automatically rude to check? That is all I was trying to say.

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Isn't it sort of like saying, "I'm more important than you. Let me check my Facebook feed before I finish up with you.?."

It is to me.

I would argue (did argue on pg2) that Facebook and instagram and the like are far more passive than a live person contacting you over a medium that expects an immediate response. Browsing facebook signifies you are bored with your surroundings, which is obviously rude if your surroundings include a real person talking to you. Getting tapped on the metaphorical shoulder and looking to see who it is, is entirely different in my submission.

And a polite "excuse me" as you check doesn't hurt to smooth it over.

 

[Night Spring]

Isn't it sort of like saying, "I'm more important than you. Let me check my Facebook feed before I finish up with you.?."

It is to me.

I would argue (did argue on pg2) that Facebook and instagram and the like are far more passive than a live person contacting you over a medium that expects an immediate response. Browsing facebook signifies you are bored with your surroundings, which is obviously rude if your surroundings include a real person talking to you. Getting tapped on the metaphorical shoulder and looking to see who it is, is entirely different in my submission.

And a polite "excuse me" as you check doesn't hurt to smooth it over.

Totally agree with zmunkz. I think many posters in this thread are willfully exaggerating the rudeness factor. A quick glance at your watch isn't the same as perusing Facebook. And the purpose of the watch is to help us triage our notifications, so we don't have to pull out our phones to see if it is a new Facebook post or a call from our mom.

To this end, it would be extremely helpful if we could assign a distinctive tap to specific contacts. That way, any other taps, we would ignore, and the tap from our mom, we could excuse ourselves and see what mom wants. I do hope Apple adds this feature soon!

 

[Gameboy70]

Simple, clue the other person into your anxiety about being late for the meeting. You're going way too deep with this. You're either engaged with someone or you're not. If you're done, walk away to take care of whatever other business you have on your phone, watch, etc. No point in being passive about it. Until then, shifting focus to distractions that you put there in the first place seems rude in any social context I can think of.

On the contrary, instead of "going way too deep" in trying to tease out implications of watch checking (real or imagined), I've chosen to be an adult and reserve my indignation for things that matter; it's not all about me. Seriously, no one owes me their undivided attention ("engagement" in the pop psychology parlance of our times) from moment to moment, as long as they carry their part of the conversation coherently.

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I think many posters in this thread are willfully exaggerating the rudeness factor.

This.