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Gary Larson's 4 personality types are

1. "The glass is half-full."
2. "The glass is half-empty."
3. "Uh.. half-full, uh.. half-empty, uhh... half....?"
4. "What the hell is this? I ordered a cheeseburger!"

😀
 
I also have issues with "Hello pot, this is kettle", because neither a pot nor a kettle is black in my world. They are shiny metal grey. Frying pans are black.
 
Half-full or half-empty? Doesn't matter – the fact is you've only got half a glass there. Down it and get another round in, there's a good fellow.
 
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