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Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by macbook pro i5, May 18, 2012.
Hi im super bored need some jokes they can be as inappropriate as possible
Haha shouldn't you be studying for them Cambridge exams?
A photon goes to a hotel. The manager asks if it needs help with its bag. The photon answers, "No thanks. I'm traveling light."
How do you starve a punk to death? Hide the welfare check under the soap.
How so is it the fact the it should be MacBook Pro i5??
Finished revising for em'
2 Farmers talking in the field. The subject of Donkeys crops up...
F1 " I am looking for a Donkey! "
F2 " I have one for sale! "
F1 " How much? "
F2 " £200 "
Money changes hands and it is agreed the animal will be delivered the following day. A week passes and no Donkey arrives. The two farmers meet in town...
F1 " I paid you for a Donkey. Where is it? "
F2 " It died! "
F1 " Can I have my money back then please? "
F2 " Hmmm. Cannot do that. I spent it all! "
F1 " Right! Drop the carcass off at my yard. I will raffle it off "
The following day a dead Donkey appears in F1's yard. A month passes and the two meet again in the local market...
F2 " How did you get on with that raffle? "
F1 " Brilliant. I sold almost 500 tickets at £2 a throw! "
F2 " J**** H Chr***! Did no one complain??? "
F1. " Yeah! The winner. So I gave him his £2 back!!!!!!! "
Da dum tsh
Here's an old, old joke... It's an R-rated joke, but I've clean it up as much as possible.
A hot widow placed an ad in the local paper that said anyone who can climb to the top of a greased flag pole gets to...eh hem... her. Those to who fail will suffer the consequences. The next day, 3 boys arrive at her house for the contest.
The first boy climbs half way up and slips back down. The widow asks him, "What does your father do for a living." The boy answered, "He's a butcher." She told him to take out his johnson and she chopped it off with a butcher's knife.
The second boy climb 3/4 of the way up before sliding down. Again, the widow asked what his father does for a living. "He's a tailor," the boy answered. So she cut off his johnson with a pair of scissors.
The third boy climbs nearly to the top, but slips down as well. Once more she asked about his father's job. The boy replied, "He's a lollipop maker. What are you gonna do? Lick it off?"
When squirrel run up woman's pants, he find no nuts.
Actually. That second on is terrible..let me find a better one.
Ah, heres a better one.
Did you hear about the schizophrenic who has alzheimer's? The voice in his head kept saying, "why don't you remember me?"