groomsmen wedding question

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by nizz, Nov 5, 2010.

  1. nizz macrumors regular

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    #1
    Do the groomsmen normally give the couple a wedding gift?
    As groomsmen, we are already spending close to $600 each on tux rentals, bachelor party, hotel room stays, alcohol, etc.

    and there's 6 of us
     
  2. Rodimus Prime macrumors G4

    Rodimus Prime

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    #2
    Yes yes they do.
     
  3. Gregg2 macrumors 603

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    #3
    Yeah, 'fraid so. One wedding I was in, I paid for my tux, the tux of another dude I'd never met before who "forgot" his money, plus it seems a couple other things I can't remember. I still gave a small gift.
     
  4. IBradMac macrumors 68000

    IBradMac

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  5. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

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    #5
    Yep. its tradition, and believe me the wife will remember if you fail.

    The bachelor party is not a wedding gift, no matter how expensive it is. Its a party to enjoy one last night of freedom. What you do or how much you spend really has little to no impact on the wedding gift which is a gift to celebrate the wedding
     
  6. nobunaga209 macrumors 6502a

    nobunaga209

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    #6
    Give a gift, in turn you get dibs on quasi-drunk bridesmaids. Win for you...if you're so inclined. ;)
     
  7. Teh Don Ditty macrumors G4

    Teh Don Ditty

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    #7
    One of my groomsmen did not give us a gift. Needless to say, I was pretty annoyed.
     
  8. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

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    #8
    Not matter what your part in the "play", I always consider a gift as payment for the meal.

    Putting on a reception is far from cheap, unless you do KFC. :)
     
  9. maflynn Moderator

    maflynn

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    #9
    by the way, you're complaining about the costs, but consider the $$ bridesmaids have lay out. We guys get to rent our tux, they have buy their dress. I think in the economy of weddings the guys make off better.
     
  10. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

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    #10
    You guys have to rent your own tux? I would never expect someone to put out money for my wedding. :confused:

    The bachelor party, hotel and other stuff are different and should not be included as the wedding.
     
  11. grapes911 Moderator emeritus

    grapes911

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    #11
    Bring a gift. It's an honor to be in groomsman, not a payment in place of a gift. Wedding aren't cheap for anyone.

    This sounds pretty bad and petty, but its true. My wife knows exactly what everyone gave us. Mostly from memory, but if she forgets it is conveniently stored away in a spreed sheet.

    Yes, you do. It kind of works out though. I rented tuxes for my friends' weddings, then all rented tuxes for mine. It balances out. It's pretty normal too.
     
  12. nizz thread starter macrumors regular

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  13. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #13
    Figure out where they are registered at and at the least get them a gift card to there. Don't give them cash, that's lazy and unthoughtful.
     
  14. nizz thread starter macrumors regular

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    #14

    They don't have a registry. They're also young and broke.

    I'm not sure what else they'd want because they are already living in a fully furnished place.
     
  15. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

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    #15
    Maybe it's just culture thing, the bride and groom pays for most/all the stuff and we give cash when we go to weddings, usually $150/person or if it's close friends/family we give more. :confused:
     
  16. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #16
    Where I'm from people usually register at places or they have a list of things they want on a list and it's purchased from there. Just more personal than a check or cash.
     
  17. grapes911 Moderator emeritus

    grapes911

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    #17
    For whatever reason, wedding are one of the few times where cash is not only acceptable, but sometimes even preferred. Registries are generally for the shower. What's left of the registry or cash are both acceptable gifts for a wedding. The actual amount varies a lot though.
     
  18. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #18
    Well obviously it varies.
     
  19. Surely Guest

    Surely

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    #19
    I'm going to have to disagree with you renewed: Giving cash is neither lazy or unthoughtful.

    grapes911 is pretty much spot on.
     
  20. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #20
    That's perfectly fine. I view it as being lazy and unthoughtful, others may not. Was just voicing my opinion. :)
     
  21. Mac'nCheese macrumors 68030

    Mac'nCheese

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    #21
    Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 4_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/532.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.5 Mobile/8B117 Safari/6531.22.7)

    If the married couple has any class, they would make it known to anyone in the wedding party that might be struggling that paying for all the other stuff is gift enough. If they dont, then it's expected that u will also give a gift.
     
  22. Surely Guest

    Surely

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    #22
    Not giving cash in my culture is considered kind of weird and possibly cheap.......

    How many stupid crystal bowls could a couple possibly use? I'll tell you the answer: none.
     
  23. renewed macrumors 68040

    renewed

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    #23
    The weddings that I have been to lately had a list of what they wanted kind of like mentioned earlier in how they do it for showers. For example at Target you have a wedding registry and once you purchase something you scan it and it is taken off the list. Good way to outfit their new home. This is just from experience. I like things to be personal and cash is anything but.
     
  24. Surely Guest

    Surely

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    #24
    Yes, if there is a registry, that's a different story. It's still not personal...... you're just picking out something they asked for. But all of the weddings I've been to (and my wedding) was organized the way grapes911 stated.
     
  25. Mac'nCheese macrumors 68030

    Mac'nCheese

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    #25
    It depends on where u live. In ny, we give the registry gifts as an engagement present and cash at the wedding. Friends in pa do not give engagement gifts and give registry preSents at the wedding.
     

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