Help????

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by ErikCLDR, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. ErikCLDR macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    #1
    So basically I just need to get this out of my system


    For the past year it just feel like everything that I was had or once was good at is gone.

    Like I used to be at the top of my class, but now I am a B student. In middle school I was a distinguished honors student. In 9th grade I was hardly high student. Last year I felt like I worked hard but could only acheive Honors. I feel like I am not as good as friends with my friends as a used to be, and some people I used to be very good friends with, are no longer friends with me. I don't feel as social as I once was. Additionally I don't feel like I am as athletic gifted as I once was. I have absolutely no confidence left in me. No matter what I tell myself I feel like I can never succeed. It seems like whenever I try to achieve something I can never meet my goal, whatever it is. I've never felt like this before.

    I don't know how to explain it but I feel like my life is on a crash course into failure. I feel absolutely miserable. Events transpired (that I don't want to talk about) today that was just a final blow to my already spiraling downward life. I feel like I've lost everything.

    I guess I am depressed, but not suicidal. I just want to get this off my chest.
     
  2. bousozoku Moderator emeritus

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Location:
    Gone but not forgotten.
    #2
    Welcome to the real world. You'll get over it and you'll be doing better sooner than you realise.

    I know that a lot of people obsess over grades, but it's the accomplishment, not the grade, that counts.

    Besides, each transition you make is going to rattle your confidence somewhat. You'll find that your first year of university will be harder than expected, if you're not right on top of homework and projects.

    Gain strength from the bad times and just remember that things become better, whether you want them to do that or not. :)
     
  3. adk macrumors 68000

    adk

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
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    Stuck in the middle with you
    #3
    Welcome to burning out. I also seem to have reached my intellectual peak at a rather young age. You're probably not going to harvard, you're probably not going to play in the NBA, and you're probably not going to be prom king. Welcome to the world of mediocrity, feel free to join us at the bar.
     
  4. steamboat26 macrumors 65816

    steamboat26

    Joined:
    May 25, 2006
    Location:
    Arlington VA
    #4
    I guess I'm in a similar boat as you. I'm going into Senior year, and rather than improving as I went through high school, I have gotten steadily worse. In middle school, I got straight A's with no problem, all three years (6th-8th grade). I got straight A's in freshmen year (9th grade) although it was a little tougher. Sophomore year, I got all A's and one B (in my math class), and I felt horrible. I still hold bitter feelings against that teacher because I felt that she didn't teach very well; I guess I was too used to getting A's. Then things fell apart 4th quarter, I didn't understand trigonometry at all, and got a D. Junior year, I got all A's and two B's every quarter, except (again) for fourth quarter, where I got one C and one B, all the rest A's. Overall for the year, I got all A's and two B's. Those are pretty good grades, but I hold myself to such impossibly high standards that I was crushed. I don't wanna boast, but my GPA is very solid, but I feel as though it should (and would be) higher if i would stop slacking during the fourth quarter, but I get so tired of school that I just don't feel like trying anymore.
    I can totally relate to feeling like life is in a downward spiral. I wanted so much to happen this summer. I wanted to get a job at Apple retail, which I am still waiting to hear back on, I wanted to get a car (I still don't have one, although i do have a promising lead), and I wanted to *finally* get a girlfriend. Unfortunately, none of these events occurred, and I was having a horrible bout of depression for most of the summer. I haven't made much money this summer, and am now looking investing a hefty amount of my savings into a car, which has me worried that I won't find a job and things will continue to spiral down.
    This is coming from someone who has been clinically depressed for the last 5 or so year, stay positive. Things will turn around, not everything is going as bad as you think, you are just focusing on the bad. Find something to do to take your mind off things, get a hobby, afterschool job, or just hang out with some friends. :)

    /End long, pessimistic rant
     
  5. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #5
    Welcome to the sad realization that is life!


    I'm a pretty smart guy, but I don't really want to go to an Ivy League school, everyone just cares to much. Let other people worry, chances are if your decently smart you'll make it. I got my first C+ this year...and I don't really care. I can be upset, or try harder next time. I pick the later.

    Personal I think schools fail at measuring intelligence. Also I'm in bad shape...I'm not fat, but I've lost tons of muscle! I do need to work out, but again I don't...mostly because I'm in a lazy spell called summer!


    I think you have some to the realization that your not number one at anything! Nor am I. Oh well, life goes one.



    "A working class hero is something to be"

    Also try and have fun with it.
     
  6. jones14 macrumors member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    #6
    Hey, I'm 16 and a sophomore, I too, have felt like I was somewhat depressed since my freshman year started. I'm not near as social as I once was, my grades haven't suffered, but my athletic abilities have, I run about 1:30 slower mile and lift around 50lbs. less. I haven't worked out at all since 8th grade since I don't feel like it really matters to me how strong I am, as the only sport I'm involved with anymore is Golf.

    First, my grades, they aren't too much different, i've always had a problem my teachers call "Lazy Genius Syndrome" I don't really pay attention in class, but I still find homework and tests somewhat easy. Overall I've maintained my GPA. I've also won multiple awards in my FBLA chapter for technology related competitions, they really made me feel good about myself.

    Second, my friends, this is my only big problem, i've always felt kind of out of place, and I think that is really becoming more obvious when High School started. I've always had a limited selection of friends, my High School is around 200 people all together. I rarely see any of my friends anymore, because they're philosophy is to take easy classes, where as mine are the harder ones. I have made many friends not through school but through extra activities. Being in FBLA has opened me up to many more friends, mostly the people in the grade above me, I haven't known them for a long time but I have had a alot good times with them, more than I have had with my old friends that i've had since kindergarten. Conversations with them are alot more interesting, and I am usually involved with them. I recently started a job and met alot of cool people too, i've had more advanced conversations with them than most people I thought I was friends with.

    My opinion, join an organization of some sort, or join the school golf team, both allow you to meet many new people and usually gives you lots of time to get to know them. Don't be shy.

    If you feel like you can never succeed, just try to set a goal, and set it very very high. My goal is to go to my dream college, MIT, and it really has motivated me to try and get all A's. At mid-term I guess we'll see how that has worked for me.

    Best of luck to you, it's not just you that feels this way.
     
  7. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #7
    Not to sound harsh, but if the most of your worries right now is getting a few Bs, you're in for a rude awakening when you get out into the real world. If I were you, I'd just suck it up and deal with it because its really not that big of a deal
     
  8. jng macrumors 65816

    jng

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Location:
    Germany
    #8
    Hang in there. I was in your shoes not too long ago.

    Grades:
    It doesn't matter so much. A B student isn't that bad. I too was top of my class in middle school and then I entered an exam school and struggled to remain in the top 10%. In retrospect, it was foolish how much I struggled.

    You said you were class president. So you're definitely going to college. Just do the best you can but don't overstrain yourself and give up things that make you happy. For example in 9th grade, I got a C in Algebra and my parents made me quit the basketball team. I hugely regret that because afterwards I started living a mostly sedentary lifestyle in front of books or the computer. BAD. Keep doing sports if you love it, but not if it's just something you're doing for college.

    Know that you have to work hard to get into college, but not as hard as you think to make the best out of it. To be honest, I had a mental breakdown senior year, partly because of personal reasons, but also because of school. My parents also wanted me to go to Harvard and like 90% of the applicants, I did not get in. But you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Because then I had to deal with failure and ultimately I realized that I would not have had a great time at a school like Harvard. After you stop clawing to the top, you slow down a little and enjoy things more. I've since graduated from a smaller school, studied abroad and am now living abroad again. Most importantly, I know what I want and I'm doing it.

    Can't say the same for many others who've just graduated in 07 as well.

    You're fine. Don't worry. You're burnt out a bit sounds like. But you'll get up and be fine.

    Paul Coehlo says life is about falling down 7 times and getting up 8 times. So get up :)
     
  9. ErikCLDR thread starter macrumors 68000

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2007
    #9
    Thanks guys. I am feeling a bit better today.

    I guess there is also the constant pressure of my parents who won't accept anything but the best. My sister was #1 in her class, played varsity soccer her freshman year in a very good soccer program, she was a class officer, she went to a math and science school for 1/2 the day, now makes the deans list at a prestigious university, and is on her way to becoming a doctor. So basically i am expected to do as well or better than her, which obviously is not very easy to achieve.

    I guess I am burnt out. In middle school I overachieved way way way too much, and now I am not enthusiastic at all.

    Right now I am thinking of quitting soccer. The coach is an @$$hole, he makes horrible decisions that no one understands, and honestly I don't enjoy playing it anymore. I'm a good player (lead scorer freshman year, 3rd place scorer for JV last year & I got to play varsity), but I just don't like it. Now my mom is trying anything to make me play- even offering me money. :rolleyes:

    I know that I will get into college obviously. I am taking the hardest classes I can and I'm still getting an acceptable grade. I took the SAT's 1x, never practicing, with pneumonia and got a 12xx so I am sure I can improve upon that.

    Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it. What I really want to do is find out what I'm good at and love to do , and follow that.
     
  10. adk macrumors 68000

    adk

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2005
    Location:
    Stuck in the middle with you
    #10
    Do any of you kids complaining in this thread have a GPA that's even below a 3.5?
     
  11. jones14 macrumors member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    #11
    That would be unacceptable by my parents, I got my laptop taken away last year for a 3.8, with that GPA I was 12th in my class of 60. Thats barely top 20% and regular people like me don't get into top schools like MIT or Stanford with that.
     
  12. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #12
    Let me get that stick out for you!!
    :p
     
  13. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #13
    I really feel sorry for people like you, I truly do.

    I graduated high school with somewhere around a 3.5, and I'm now in my senior year of college (and at a good university too) and have about a 3.5 as well. Last semester was my first 4.0 semester ever. I don't think I ever got straight A's in elementary school, and definitely never got them in middle or high school. And the 4.0 I wasn't even expecting, I only got it because one of my professors did a huge curve since final grades were so terrible, my actual grade in that class was a solid B. But you want to know what's even better about it? I'm happy. In fact, no offense, but probably much happier than you guys are. I go through school thinking whatever happens, happens. I've gotten Ds in classes before. I've failed tests. On some nights, I've decided that getting plastered was more important than doing homework or studying. I've opted to sleep in rather than attend class, and I don't plan on setting foot anywhere near campus the day Guitar Hero 3 comes out :D I've actually had fun throughout high school and college. The people I know who go through life worrying about their GPA don't know what fun is because they're too busy studying. And I'd hardly consider my choices to be hurting me one bit. The past 2 summers, I've had an internship with the same company, and am pretty much guaranteed to get an excellent job with them once I'm out of college. I think it is extremely stupid to worry about grades so much. Yeah, you have to do good, but being perfect isn't a necessity. Besides, 10 years from now, do you really think it's going to matter if you got a 3.8 or a 4.0 in college? Probably not.
     
  14. r1ch4rd macrumors 6502a

    r1ch4rd

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Manchester UK
    #14
    I am sure you will be fine. I found that the further I got in school the less I was achieving my potential. I never got bad grades but they weren't what I wanted.

    Turns out it doesn't matter that much. Once you get to University nobody cares what you did at school. I've only been out of University just over a year and nobody cares about my A levels now. It all seems important now but as you get more stuff under your belt it won't matter so much because you have proved yourself in many more ways.
     
  15. tartsquid macrumors regular

    tartsquid

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Location:
    Reston, VA
    #15
    It really is true that once you get to college, what you did in high school doesn't matter. Being a B student isn't the end of the world - even if your parents make it out to be. I graduated #3 in my class, but when you get to college you find that a lot of people were also the smartest people in their schools (and some weren't) and it really has no impact on your college performance.

    It sounds like you're getting burnt out. It happened to me when I was a junior in high school (gosh, that seems so long ago!) because I was trying to be the best at everything. I ended up pushing myself so hard that eventually I just gave up and stopped caring for a long time. Try to scale back and re-evaluate your priorities before you crash and are completely depressed. If you don't feel like playing soccer anymore, you don't have to! It won't mean you're any worse of a person than you were before, and it will take some stress off of you. Your parents will just have to understand that you are not your sister.
     
  16. latergator116 macrumors 68000

    latergator116

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2003
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    #16
    If it makes you guys feel any better, my cumulative grade for high school was a D-.
     
  17. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #17
    I have only skimmed the thread because I could barely get past the original post.

    You're whining about not doing as well as you did in elementary school. Here's a reason: Maybe your elementary school teachers were easy markers. Maybe your high school is sort of difficult while your elementary school was a breeze. Sorry that you're not at the top of your class.....but big deal. That's not the worst thing that could happen. You worry too much. Your parents worry too much. Don't worry so much!! People who worry aren't enjoying life. You can't worry and enjoy something at the same time.


    Agree 100%. I'm a PhD student who finished high school with a B+ average (in my final year) but only got around a C average throughout high school. I have a letter at home that says I failed out of uni because I didn't achieve a C+ average grade, which was the minimum mark I had to achieve after finishing 3 years of uni (apparently, my mark was 0.03% lower than a C+ and the computer system at uni decided that I failed out). I still enjoy my life. A lot.

    Over the last 36 hours, I have drank around 25 standard drinks (alcohol = yummy), went nude swimming at the beach with 30 friends (despite the cold winter water temperatures), and enjoy my life at age 27.
     
  18. steamboat26 macrumors 65816

    steamboat26

    Joined:
    May 25, 2006
    Location:
    Arlington VA
    #18
    Uh...yeah, I might have like a...4.0 :eek:

    I can see why grades don't really matter, but I am not generally a very social person, so grades are really my only parameter for success in school. Anybody can pass SOLs, and SATs are designed for specific types of thinkers. What else can I go by?
     
  19. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #19

    Grades != Success. Is the guy with the 4.0 really going to be any more successful than the guy with the 3.5 later on down the road? I'm inclined to say no, considering the success of people such as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates who never even graduated from college. And we've already proven that you can be a C student in college and be a cocaine addicted alcoholic and get elected as president. Twice....ish (damn Florida, but I digress). Grades won't mean a thing later on in life.


    Someone told me something, and while I don't know if it's true, it definitely makes sense. If 2 people apply for the same job, and have the same qualifications, but one guy has a 4.0 and the other has somewhere in the mid 3's, the guy with the 3.x is more likely to get the job. Why? The guy with the 4.0 probably spent his college years locked up in his dorm room studying and has no social skills, no leadership abilities, no teamworking skills and doesn't know how to interact with other people. Which having spent 2 summers in a large corporate environment, I've found out that being able to work with other people is just as important, if not more important, than knowing all of the skills required for your job.
     
  20. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #20
    Thats a big jump..you can have a 4.0GPA, and still have leadership skills , teamwork etc.....your assuming to get that 4.0 you need to give up lots of things.


    Thats not always the case
     
  21. yg17 macrumors G5

    yg17

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Location:
    St. Louis, MO
    #21
    I know it's not always the case (that's why I said probably ;)) but I think it makes sense.
     
  22. jones14 macrumors member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    #22
    Jeez, you guys talk like if you have a 4.0 you are unsocial geek that focuses solely on schoolwork, for me thats not really the case, I am expected to have a 4.0, it's all about time management and using time wisely, for me it is

    Monday - School 'till 3, work from 4 to 7, homework/screw around till 10
    Tuesday & Thursday - School 'till 3, work from 4 - 9:30, drive home and sleep.
    Wednesday - School, homework, go mess around with friends.
    Friday - School, mess around, then go to football game or go into town and hangout with friends, go drink beer (not go get wasted)
    Saturday - Do homework, Do nothing, Go and hang out with friends, go home.
    Sunday - Go to church, go to lunch with family, go to work till 9:00, realize how much I hate work, go to sleep.

    It's actually quite easy when you realize there is no need to be on MacRumors for hours or watch stupid things on TV.

    My schedule most likely won't work for most people, as my school has block scheduling, as in 4 classes on "A day" and 4 classes on "B day" and going by that I can do no homework on tues and thurs, and then do it on mon, wed, and saturday.
     
  23. MACDRIVE macrumors 68000

    MACDRIVE

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2006
    Location:
    Clovis, California
    #23
    Forget about friends and forget about being social! The decisions you make now are going to affect your life 20 years from now; and by then, you won't give a flying frik about what you did with your friends! Just learn as much as you can and try to decide on what it is you want to do 20 years from now.

    Take it from a guy who wished he had followed his own above advice. :eek:
     
  24. Kamera RAWr macrumors 65816

    Kamera RAWr

    Joined:
    May 15, 2007
    Location:
    I'm where I need to be
    #24
    If it makes anyone feel any better, I was a high school dropout. :D
     
  25. it5five macrumors 65816

    it5five

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Location:
    New York
    #25
    Quoted this and yg17 for truth.

    I never understood why some kids in high school had panic attacks if their GPA dropped below 4.0

    I did terrible in high school, and I still got into college. I'm doing okay in college, and I plan on going to grad school. I had a little below a C average in high school, and a 3.0 right now in college, but I didn't stress at all, and I am A LOT happier for it.
     

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