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Hiring a body guard for several weeks after launch

X

XLR8

macrumors regular
Original poster
Apr 19, 2009
108
0
My father-in-law is a security consultant for a very well known worldwide agency and he recommends that I hire a body guard for the first several weeks of iPhone 4 ownership.

Also, I've been told that the Fed-Ex plane en route to the U.S. will be escorted by heavily armed Sikorsky RAH-66 Comanche Stealth Helicopters. Steve what's his buckets has personally asked for these helicopters himself.

These are the most sophisticated helicopters on the planet. Normally they are painted black or white. I've been told that there won't be any white birds available for this mission though. Wow, that's really freaky. Anyone see a pattern here? The Illuminati periodically reveals itself and I think that's what were seeing with this version of the iPhone launch. It's a little scary.
 
Yup, I plan on spending thousands of dollars to hire a body guard for a few weeks to protect me from losing my $300 cell phone. Good thinking.

Ps. I don't think I would ever trust a security consultant who recommends a body guard over a cell phone. I don't expect him to be consulting for long.
 
STEVESKI07 said:
Yup, I plan on spending thousands of dollars to hire a body guard for a few weeks to protect me from losing my $300 cell phone. Good thinking.

Ps. I don't think I would ever trust a security consultant who recommends a body guard over a cell phone. I don't expect him to be consulting for long.
Click to expand...

Do a wiki lookup on humor/sarcasm
 
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thornguy said:
STEVESKI07 said:
Yup, I plan on spending thousands of dollars to hire a body guard for a few weeks to protect me from losing my $300 cell phone. Good thinking.

Ps. I don't think I would ever trust a security consultant who recommends a body guard over a cell phone. I don't expect him to be consulting for long.
Click to expand...

Do a wiki lookup on humor/sarcasm
Click to expand...

You never know with some people on here. Also, normally people would use some kind of smiley or something to show they are being sarcastic. Sorry I'm not an expert at detecting e-sarcasm. Maybe you could teach me?

Maybe if people stopped creating pointless threads we wouldn't have this problem.
 
Re

"Normally they are painted black or white. I've been told that there won't be any white birds available for this mission though."


ROFF COPTER
 
STEVESKI07 said:
Yup, I plan on spending thousands of dollars to hire a body guard for a few weeks to protect me from losing my $300 cell phone. Good thinking.

Ps. I don't think I would ever trust a security consultant who recommends a body guard over a cell phone. I don't expect him to be consulting for long.
Click to expand...

i honestly struggle to understand how you didn't get the joke.

a sarcasm/humour course should be mandatory before you join the internet, else new internet users will end up looking like this guy, mr. serious pants.
 
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nfl46 said:
I really hope this was a joke.
Click to expand...

Don't say that because you'll get flamed by people who joined this forum a week ago so they think it's normal for threads like these to be here.
 
LOL.. reminds me of "The Onion"

To defend those who missed the sarcasm and snapped at the OP..

There HAS been an abundance of ridiculous threads lately and caused an otherwise intelligent board to get downright silly. And not a good silly.

Once the crowned jewel has been unclothed I suspect the threads to return to their once revered status. Though Im sure we will see plenty of

"WHERE THE HECK IS MY NEW IPHONE" threads

Blonde Buddhist
 
I'm not entirely sure if the helicopters supporting a freight jetliner to the us helped or hurt the joke.
I have flown halfway across the country crewing a black hawk and compared to a Fedex cargo jet it was more like a 20 hour car ride stopping for fuel, eating, resting, and slow.
Raptors would have been cooler :p
Long range, higher altitude, faster and less risky inflight refueling.
 
Does anyone care to tell me why my post in this thread was deleted? All I said was "I lol'd". I got that it was a joke and I don't think it was rude or anything....

Unless, it wasn't a joke? I noticed a couple other posts were removed as well.
 
STEVESKI07 said:
Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 3_1_3 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/528.18 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Mobile/7E18 Safari/528.16)



You never know with some people on here. Also, normally people would use some kind of smiley or something to show they are being sarcastic. Sorry I'm not an expert at detecting e-sarcasm. Maybe you could teach me?

Maybe if people stopped creating pointless threads we wouldn't have this problem.
Click to expand...

I think that the "escorted by heavily armed Sikorsky RAH-66 Comanche Stealth Helicopters" part just might have been a tip off. ;)
 
Yeah Right I Dont Need A Body Guard Ill Shoot Some Body With Hollow Points That Will Go Through Walls And Harm Innocent People Rather Than Hand Over My Cell Phone.


Because This Is My America.
 
I've already made my tin foil hat...

And when the black helicopters come to snatch my prized iPhone 4 out of my hot little hands, I will knock them out with my secret death ray.
 
STEVESKI07 said:
You never know with some people on here. Also, normally people would use some kind of smiley or something to show they are being sarcastic. Sorry I'm not an expert at detecting e-sarcasm. Maybe you could teach me?

Maybe if people stopped creating pointless threads we wouldn't have this problem.
Click to expand...

Well, when they are running full on into sarcasm without a smiley we tend to give them a gentle push.

attachment.php
 
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PorterRocks said:
Does anyone care to tell me why my post in this thread was deleted? All I said was "I lol'd". I got that it was a joke and I don't think it was rude or anything....

Unless, it wasn't a joke? I noticed a couple other posts were removed as well.
Click to expand...

Yeah, mine got deleted. I quoted & +1'd it!
 
makefunnyfaces said:
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Yeah, mine got deleted. I quoted & +1'd it!
Click to expand...

I don't understand mods sometimes. They'll delete a "I lol'd" comment but they won't manage all of the multiple useless threads all asking the same questions.
 
XLR8 said:
My father-in-law is a security consultant for a very well known worldwide agency and he recommends that I hire a body guard for the first several weeks of iPhone 4 ownership.

Also, I've been told that the Fed-Ex plane en route to the U.S. will be escorted by heavily armed Sikorsky RAH-66 Comanche Stealth Helicopters. Steve what's his buckets has personally asked for these helicopters himself.

These are the most sophisticated helicopters on the planet. Normally they are painted black or white. I've been told that there won't be any white birds available for this mission though. Wow, that's really freaky. Anyone see a pattern here? The Illuminati periodically reveals itself and I think that's what were seeing with this version of the iPhone launch. It's a little scary.
Click to expand...

I wanted to laugh, I really did but you write sarcasm like you've only ever read about it in a book.

better luck next time champ.
 
XLR8 said:
My father-in-law is a security consultant for a very well known worldwide agency and he recommends that I hire a body guard for the first several weeks of iPhone 4 ownership.

Also, I've been told that the Fed-Ex plane en route to the U.S. will be escorted by heavily armed Sikorsky RAH-66 Comanche Stealth Helicopters. Steve what's his buckets has personally asked for these helicopters himself.

These are the most sophisticated helicopters on the planet. Normally they are painted black or white. I've been told that there won't be any white birds available for this mission though. Wow, that's really freaky. Anyone see a pattern here? The Illuminati periodically reveals itself and I think that's what were seeing with this version of the iPhone launch. It's a little scary.
Click to expand...

Illuminati!!!:eek:
Just check out that new Jay Z video for some freaky stuff!
 
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