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How can I spy on someone?

I admit I haven't read all the replies on this, but I have some knowledge of this situation from a law enforcement point of view.

Unless your friend/relative is actively plotting al Quaeda attacks, no police agency is going to bother with spyware or keystroke logging. It takes way too much time and effort. They'll simply get a search warrant and seize the computer and its peripherals, and take it all away for analysis. I admit I'm kind of curious about what sort of illegal activity she's using her computer for -- porn, drugs, bomb-building, or some kind of internet fraud?
 
eRondeau said:
I admit I haven't read all the replies on this, but I have some knowledge of this situation from a law enforcement point of view.

Unless your friend/relative is actively plotting al Quaeda attacks, no police agency is going to bother with spyware or keystroke logging. It takes way too much time and effort. They'll simply get a search warrant and seize the computer and its peripherals, and take it all away for analysis. I admit I'm kind of curious about what sort of illegal activity she's using her computer for -- porn, drugs, bomb-building, or some kind of internet fraud?
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It seems the sister is complaining about her life even though her family is a nice one. This deviant behavior isn't that farfetched. Kids like to complain a lot about how their life isnt fair and etc. Otherwise how can they relate to linkin park lyrics with their friends. It's a game of OMG feel sorry for me. It's something kids grow out of (maybe) and sadly it takes a long time to get out of this phase. Looks like some things were said that worried some people and child welfare checked in, most probally with the parents. Which begs the question? What is the OP going to do. He's discreatly spying on his sister, but what next? What can he do? Is going to go up to the parents and say "I've been spying on my sister while she's online and she's been saying stuff about you." Most probally not. Mostly because the parents already know. Why even spy now?

Since the OP has already made this breach, I would recommend not making another. Do not spy anymore, forget what you saw, and do not use what you found out "like her having a boyfriend" against her.
 
snkTab said:
It seems the sister is complaining about her life even though her family is a nice one. This deviant behavior isn't that farfetched. Kids like to complain a lot about how their life isnt fair and etc. Otherwise how can they relate to linkin park lyrics with their friends. It's a game of OMG feel sorry for me.....
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You'd be amazed at how quickly some frivilous complaints get blown way out of proportion. It all comes down to civil liability. When somebody calls the police with any allegation (no matter how ridiculous) police policy requires a full investigation as well as mandatory notification of downstream agencies (ie- child protection). All it takes is an anonymous allegation of abuse in a home and the wheels are in motion and the family is just along for the ride. I have seen good families destroyed by the imaginary allegations of 12-year-olds so high on crack they don't even know their own name.
 
eRondeau said:
You'd be amazed at how quickly some frivilous complaints get blown way out of proportion. It all comes down to civil liability. When somebody calls the police with any allegation (no matter how ridiculous) police policy requires a full investigation as well as mandatory notification of downstream agencies (ie- child protection). All it takes is an anonymous allegation of abuse in a home and the wheels are in motion and the family is just along for the ride. I have seen good families destroyed by the imaginary allegations of 12-year-olds so high on crack they don't even know their own name.
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cops must be pretty good down where you are, cause that wouldn't happen in a million years over here, it would take about 5-7 complaints before anyone gives a damn. 😉
 
Spying would've been the only way to find out anything about my sister. Communication does not work for her as she just refuses to say anything to family. She keeps herself locked up in her room all day and hides whatever is on her computer screen when someone walks in. It's hard to talk to her if you have to worry about being reported to Child Welfare for any confrontation.

I don't appreciate it how most of you call me immature and such just because you assume verbal communication would solve all problems. Things have more than one level.

This is a moot point in contrast to how serious this topic has become, but when I said "MySpace whore," I didn't mean it literally. I just meant that she loved to socialize on MySpace.
 
damn i guess i am screwed over now too. Because i am always in my room on either my powerbook or my powermac and i always lock my computer when i leave my room (rarely happens that i leave, except to go out drinking) and i close everything on the screen when someone comes in. (because it is none of their damn business what i do on my computer, but thats another topic) and i rarely talk to my family as well.

Seems i should be being spied on as well. Thou i find myself to be fairly nice, calm, intellectual, among other things.

Thou i don't whore myself out to those stupid blog things, macrumors members are the only ones i whore myself out to.

So anyone like me should be spied on.



COMMUNIST *points to self*

EDIT: oh yes and i have a pretty damn illegal past as well but i wont go into that
 
goodtimes5 said:
Spying would've been the only way to find out anything about my sister. Communication does not work for her as she just refuses to say anything to family. She keeps herself locked up in her room all day and hides whatever is on her computer screen when someone walks in. It's hard to talk to her if you have to worry about being reported to Child Welfare for any confrontation.

I don't appreciate it how most of you call me immature and such just because you assume verbal communication would solve all problems. Things have more than one level.

This is a moot point in contrast to how serious this topic has become, but when I said "MySpace whore," I didn't mean it literally. I just meant that she loved to socialize on MySpace.
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I think what almost everyone in this thread is trying to say is that there are more appropriate ways to resolve this issue than spying.
 
Why do all of you make spying seem like such a horrible thing? Do you guys condone parent software that allows parents to watch what their kids are doing online?

I'm not doing all of this by myself. It was a family decision (excluding my sister obviously).

We're debating about telling her she is being watched.

I'm sorry if I offended you neocell; I just don't want to see my sister drifting away.
 
goodtimes5 said:
Why do all of you make spying seem like such a horrible thing?
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well i kinda think spying is illegal.

if you don't want someone doing something you set up parental controls, you don't watch what they do and then slap them later.

who gives a damn if she has a boyfriend online? Honestly there is nothing on this planet that she can be doing that i haven't already done in my life and lived through.

aside from grotesque things like kiddie porn and slave trading. Thats about it
 
goodtimes5 said:
Why do all of you make spying seem like such a horrible thing? Do you guys condone parent software that allows parents to watch what their kids are doing online?

I'm not doing all of this by myself. It was a family decision (excluding my sister obviously).

We're debating about telling her she is being watched.

I'm sorry if I offended you neocell; I just don't want to see my sister drifting away.
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You most certainly didn't offend me. It's just that these situations can be quite complicated and convoluted and problems can grow out of control. All I can state is my opinion that it's best to resolve the issue as amicably and quickly as possible, and I don't think that spying on someone is the best why to achieve that goal. Though I have been known to make mistakes... from time to time.
 
Glad to know your parents are in on this. However, I do disapprove that they asked 'you' to spy on her. This will obviously cause problems down the road. Many of us had asked you to leave this to your parents. They are the her authority figures while you are her peer. Meaning, what she does is none of your business. As for commnuication being a problem. Your sister is locked up in her room all day. I wonder what she is trying to tell you. Hrmm... that she wants some privacy. OMG, let's spy on her right now. Many kids stay in there rooms with the doors closed for privacy, it's natural.

When it comes down to it, as Eva01 mentioned, you should never sell-out family. Spying, as you can tell by it being a crime and also punishable by death, is pretty serious. Just becuase it's your sister and noone is going to send you to prison doesn't mean it's not just as wrong. So your siser is going through a phase, by spying on her you are only compounding the problem. Just wait till she finds out, then she will feel betrayed, the emotion you should never make someone feel, because 1), it makes them feel horrible, unsure, and feeling like they have no one to trust, and 2) feelings of betrayel leads directly to a prolonged fuel anger. This is when the s**t will really hit the fan.
 
Instructions to OP

1) Leave this to your parents
2) Tell them to research good parenting (not to say your parents are good parents or that they are doing anything wrong, it's just a source of advise that experts agree on (who wouldn't want a manual for their kids), one of which is that spying doesn't help, it makes things worse, and will make her distance her from the family...) You did after all say you didn't want her to drift away. Why don't you research before you act? Obviously, you got a lot of "don't do it" but you went ahead anyway and that shows carelessness in the issue. You care about your sister, don't you.
3) Never even mention this to your sister (I know we were talking about trust, which obligates you to tell her but really.... she's most likely going to kill you.)
 
IMO, all of you are being too judgemental, and not trusting enough of the OP. Imagine your sister was suicidal and spent a lot of time on the internet. Imagine you found out about the first condition in this hypothetical when the cops aborted an attempt by her. Would you do what you could, and would $300 be worth it? That situation is completely plausible under the orig scenario (but maybee with a bit more despeartion...), however, very few considered that the OP might have a valid reason. I think that the warnings were plenty and that ppl should hold the criticisms–have a little faith (in others).
 
After reading this whole thread and the whole moral side to spying I'll go a different route to all of this. GO SPY ON YOUR SISTER!!!!!!!!! As much as humanly possible and use the dirt against her, who gives a flying **** if she'd distance herself further from the family, if you got dirt on her then she'd be at your mercy or learn to not do the **** she’s doing on her computer. With all due respect your sister sounds like your typical 15 year old teenage whore with some emotional/angst issues where she feels the need to distance herself from everyone around her, she obviously has problems if she chooses to communicate with people and whore herself out to god knows who online (a little strip show anyone?) rather then do it in real life. I can only imagine that someone in the family must have raped her or done something to her to get her to be this emotionally and physically disconnected from the family. Way to go on the spying maybe we'll see some incest payback here or she'd be willing to talk to the family if you told her of all that you know, great spying on people its fun to get dirty on the ones you love and make everything go to ****, this should teach her not to **** around anymore so with that dirt you have.

Sorry if this seems to be unrealistic and out there but I'm tired and slightly pissed off right now so I wanted to do a 180 from the whole ohhh booohoo he's spying on her he shouldn’t and the ohhh boohooo let the cops deal with it **** that’s flying around here. Now with the dirty you have then you can make her even feel worse about what she’s doing and if she cares to keep it a secret she could be a good girl and give some sucky sucky 😀 or she can beg and plead for mercy that you don’t tell thee parental units about what she’s doing and in either case you come out the winner. She can please you or you can get her to admit that she’s got a problem and talk about it with everyone.

Knowledge is everything and don’t ever forget that the next time you spy on a loved one or a GF you suspect of something, it can be your friend if its used properly, used as leverage to gain something you want, or strike fear in those you hate and despise. I love having leverage over people its fun to watch them try and squirm their way out of something and do what ever you want them to or say what you want them to but its even more fun to find someone that can play the same game.

🙂 hope you find some words of encouragement from this, your sister has a problem a very BIG one if she’s distancing herself from the entire family and calling child services on your folks and spending time online and dates online and hides what shes doing when people come in, I probably cant stress how BIG of a problem potentially this could be especially if she’s at or around 14-16. If she’s had relationships that went to **** then years from now she can be deeply scarred by it, it will affect the way she thinks, the way she forms relationship, who she loves and trusts and her whole world can go out of wack by the time she’s 17 or 18 and she'll just turn to drinking and ****ing guys maybe to justify the way she feels or just for self gratification. Without getting into the whole moral or legal bit I'd bust in as a parent, if I saw her attempting to hide something as I came in I'd ask her about it and if she tells me its nothing then depending on what I'd slap her or have a family member hold her down while I checked what she was up to, if she starts screaming and yelling that its none of my business on what she’s doing I'd look her straight in her eyes and tell her its every bit my business what she’s doing on her computer, she could be web camming and stripping for god knows who online or helping al quida plan to bomb something. I'd then take her down stairs to the table and have everyone sit down with her, make it like an interrogation until she snaps from the pressure and reveals all of it. Yes its mean, yes its rude and violates every moral and legal means that people on these forums come up with but it gets results. She'd cry and tell everyone I hate all of you and scream and run somewhere but I'd give her a few hours maybe a day and go back up and tell her that it was for her own good, she needs to communicate with the family and if she’s not then she should expect her computer be taken away (piss weak punishment) or that she'd get "raided" again over and over and over till she learns to communicate and go from there, monitor her pc without her knowing and see what changes.

Anyways this is more of a rant then anything else, if it helps you out great and if it leads to people whining and gasping at the idea's I've Introduced here then you all need to go outside and get some fresh air because you're taking this whole online forums thing WAY too seriously.

Ohh btw if anyone’s wondering yes I know plenty of women that were abused in some way as teenagers and end up like **** when they're 18 and I myself loved someone that betrayed me utterly so I have similar feelings to those girls that get betrayed or abused and have a lot of build up angst and emotional problems.

G'night
 
eva01 said:
who gives a damn if she has a boyfriend online? Honestly there is nothing on this planet that she can be doing that i haven't already done in my life and lived through.
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I'll bet one of these (Linkety) that the boyfriend probably isn't who he seems.

Is her MySpace username fairly telling about herself? If so, she may be being stalked virtually. Whatever chat program she uses, they all support saving chat logs. iChat does too, under Preferences->Messages and then the checkbox at the bottom.

There have been a few, not many but a few, cases of teens (usually young females) that are stalked online and then once the 'relationship' has grown to a point the stalker and the victim meet. Sometimes fatally, sometimes it just ends in a rape. It usually doesn't end good.

The Internet is a scary place. I can be anyone I want to be. Who is this boyfriend? Wait a second, then ask yourself again do you really know who this boyfriend is REALLY. You won't know.

Sorry for the bleak outlook, but this honestly sounds like a good time to assume the worst-case-scenario.
 
MacNoobie said:
Now with the dirty you have then you can make her even feel worse about what she’s doing and if she cares to keep it a secret she could be a good girl and give some sucky sucky 😀 or she can beg and plead for mercy that you don’t tell thee parental units about what she’s doing and in either case you come out the winner.
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That is a disgusting suggestion.
Mechcozmo said:
I'll bet one of these (Linkety) that the boyfriend probably isn't who he seems.

Is her MySpace username fairly telling about herself? If so, she may be being stalked virtually. Whatever chat program she uses, they all support saving chat logs. iChat does too, under Preferences->Messages and then the checkbox at the bottom.

There have been a few, not many but a few, cases of teens (usually young females) that are stalked online and then once the 'relationship' has grown to a point the stalker and the victim meet. Sometimes fatally, sometimes it just ends in a rape. It usually doesn't end good.

The Internet is a scary place. I can be anyone I want to be. Who is this boyfriend? Wait a second, then ask yourself again do you really know who this boyfriend is REALLY. You won't know.

Sorry for the bleak outlook, but this honestly sounds like a good time to assume the worst-case-scenario.
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Yup. There's a vigilante website dedicated to weeding out internet chat creeps. They post the chat logs of the perps they catch. It's extremely disturbing stuff.
 
Rod Rod said:
There's a vigilante website dedicated to weeding out internet chat creeps. They post the chat logs of the perps they catch. It's extremely disturbing stuff.
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If you think about it, you have better things to worry about.

25%-35% of women were sexually abused before age 18. (pretty much 1 out of 3)
90% of sexual child abuse comes from people the child already knows.
#1 perp, the boyfriend, #2 perp the brother(stepbrother), #3 the uncle.

Edit: This post does not concern the case in question. I am not trying to imply anything, just responding to Rod Rod's post mainly.
 
Mechcozmo said:
I'll bet one of these (Linkety) that the boyfriend probably isn't who he seems.

Is her MySpace username fairly telling about herself? If so, she may be being stalked virtually. Whatever chat program she uses, they all support saving chat logs. iChat does too, under Preferences->Messages and then the checkbox at the bottom.

There have been a few, not many but a few, cases of teens (usually young females) that are stalked online and then once the 'relationship' has grown to a point the stalker and the victim meet. Sometimes fatally, sometimes it just ends in a rape. It usually doesn't end good.

The Internet is a scary place. I can be anyone I want to be. Who is this boyfriend? Wait a second, then ask yourself again do you really know who this boyfriend is REALLY. You won't know.

Sorry for the bleak outlook, but this honestly sounds like a good time to assume the worst-case-scenario.
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and mine ended up with engagement, to each there own.

But also if a person has any sort of intelligence then you do a back check on the person you are talking with if you are going to go meet them. Extensive back check.

I have to agree with snkTab in this stuff
 
snkTab said:
If you think about it, you have better things to worry about.

25%-35% of women were sexually abused before age 18. (pretty much 1 out of 3)
90% of sexual child abuse comes from people the child already knows.
#1 perp, the boyfriend, #2 perp the brother(stepbrother), #3 the uncle.
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those crazy uncle's. I actually have a friend that was sexually abused multiple times by her brother, like dozens of times.

Actually i am going to have to go out on a limb here and say 75% of the females i know have been sexually abused by someone they know. Never have i known someone that was raped or abused in a different way by someone they didn't know.
 
snkTab said:
If you think about it, you have better things to worry about.
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I agree with you, and just as your comments were in response to what I wrote, my comments were in response to the post(s) I quoted. The only thing that separates the internet from conventional means of sexual predation is that it allows strangers/ unknowns (potentially) the access which was previously the domain of the boyfriend/ mom's boyfriend/ stepfather/ brother/ cousin/ uncle/ grandfather.
 
eva01 said:
well i kinda think spying is illegal.
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uhm, i have seen websites selling keyloggers and stuff known in the "spying world"...

you mean selling the software is illegal? then why is it openly available?
 
redAPPLE said:
uhm, i have seen websites selling keyloggers and stuff known in the "spying world"...

you mean selling the software is illegal? then why is it openly available?
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They sell P2P software, is that okay? What about drugs, its openly available?

Just because its sold doesn't make it legal.
 
eva01 said:
well i kinda think spying is illegal.
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Im not saying what he need was/is right or wrong but

i think that he and his parents were spying on her( he was really just a pawn his parents had the plan and they needed him to set it up) , so its legal(perhaps not moral) i think his parents were looking out for her or at least trying to.

Perhaps there were more ways to go about this but from only know such a little part of the story we can not REALLY judge it, we can try but we will never know the WHOLE story.
 
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