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How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History?
- Thread starter obeygiant
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What would 0.6 of a fart be?
(just under two thirds of a fart, I know, but... still... enquiring minds and all that...)
(just under two thirds of a fart, I know, but... still... enquiring minds and all that...)
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"I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?"
Excellent and hilarious quote. That made my day.
Excellent and hilarious quote. That made my day.
The worst is when you're in a store and you need to let one go; you wander down an aisle, make sure the coast is clear, and let 'er rip. Then turn around and realize someone came around into the aisle while your back was turned...
*slinks away*
You need to master the art of silent but deadly farting. Those you can let out and no one can hear it. Large group of people is even better as then no one is sure at all where it came from.
Large group of people in an elevator! Oh yes!!! That is when you know you have made it to the big leagues when see the other people questioning themselves when that catch a whiff of the pungent odor!
Raises some interesting questions:
What constitutes a fart? Something that makes noise?
Does a silent fart lasting 1 second, count the same as a monster 10-second human-levitating chili-frapper?
How do you score a .6? You bridge midnight with it?
What if you are on a plane going through time zones? Do you fart faster? I can sure attest to increases in fartolisms at altitude however.
Since women don't fart (I hear they 'poot'), does that mean we need to recalculate the total so that we men actually double our averages to 27.2?
Charleston is home to something called "pluff mud." It's a dark soft soil found in the marshes that has a very strong methane odor.
In other words, when the wind is just right, I have a golden ticket
In other words, when the wind is just right, I have a golden ticket
And You don't know my Grandma either...
Like the book says -- Everybody POOPS...... She gets the walking farts @ times too
Elusive means that someone is actually looking for him.
Is this by sniff?
I doubt this statement, totally.
My partner says every night when I'm sleeping I let loose two or three horn blasts under the sheets! LMFAO
He hates it, but I keep telling him, it happens when I'm sleeping, so I have no control over it. Maybe if he wasn't pushing so much air in there I would be less gassy.
He hates it, but I keep telling him, it happens when I'm sleeping, so I have no control over it. Maybe if he wasn't pushing so much air in there I would be less gassy.
13.6 farts per day?
Hmmm. Now, I am not disputing the solid science behind that number… I am just worried that I am not aware of my 13.6 farts.
Don't worry if you're not holding up your end - I got your 13.6 covered.
(Get it - I'll hold up your end!!!
)OK, I'll go away now...
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