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I have found that the stainless steel used on iPhones and Apple watch are extremely scratch resistant. I'm currently using a series 5 apple watch and have an iPhone XS Max, both gold. They come with me everywhere and both look like the day I bought them. The Watch is particularly impressive considering everything I use it for.

Reference the bolded:

I semi-disagree. The 316L stainless that is used on the Apple Watch, is the same stainless steel used on the iPhone bands as mentioned, however; I definitely wouldn’t go as far as being extremely scratch resistant. As matter of fact, it’s the complete opposite, it’s a very soft/dense metal, scratches very easily, it can just as easily be removed with a polishing cloth/paste. Unless of course, you opted for the space gray stainless, which has the PVD [Physical Vapor Deposition] coating on the iPhone bands, or the DLC [Diamond Like Carbon] coating which is applicable to the space black Apple Watch, Those two specific coatings will make a difference in terms of scratch resistance.

If you’re using a case, that would help against the protection, but generally by experience, (especially if you visit the Apple Watch forum with those who have the stainless model), the stainless scratches very easily.

Even the Gold stainless bands with the PVD coating, unimpressively still Was not very scratch resistant either.
 
It’s like when you own your first Rolex. After awhile you realize it is a tool like anything else and just use it. Maintenance intervals should be expected. Also these phones are not built like a Rolex, I was just using the brand as a reference. But I did own an ‘83 Pepsi GMT that I recently sold against my better judgement.
It’s like a Rolex that’s impossible to service.
what bothers me is the dust that builds up on the speaker grilles.
 
They’re too recessed into the phone so it doesn’t reach, and if it does I’d be worried about pushing the dust in further. So it’s something I have to live with.
Haven't seen your grilles, however you may want to try a bit of rubbing alcohol on the Q-Tip and shape it the accommodate the opening.
 
I obsess over my Apple products looking perfect, and do have mild OCD myself.

Now I have two situations where a scratch or dint can bug me.

1. The product comes with a scratch or dint out of the box, in this instance it’s fine Apple or your phone carrier should replace it as it is a damaged product, so this isn’t worth obsessing over and can generally be rectified easily under warranty etc...

2. This one is harder to deal with, your product developing a scratch or dint with general use.

How I try and deal with situation 2 is think of it like this...

You get a brand new iPhone costing a huge chunk of money, you get a screen protector and case for it as many people do, then a few weeks later you take the case off to give it a bit of a clean and inspect the device and notice a scratch, this is the obsession element.

Now your compulsion will be to try and make that scratch look better, which you don’t manage to achieve, so then you go back to the obsession element then back to the compulsion element and so on... ultimately preventing you enjoying your device

However, if you don’t give into the obsession of cleaning and inspecting your phone thoroughly the compulsion of making it look pristine won’t kick in, allowing you to enjoy you device as intended.

To help get over this, just remember no product is 100% perfect (that’s why companies like Apple have tolerance levels for imperfections which will pass QC, just like the bending issue of the 2018 iPad Pro), also remember that as soon as your hand touches the device fresh out of the box, it is now a used product and has developed a tiny bit of wear and has immediately lost value.

My advice just enjoy your products and remember that any new device you get will not be in your possession forever and will be sold on or traded in at some point, think of Apple products as something that you are hiring for 2-5 years and will eventually be renewed for the latest and greatest device to hit the market.

I myself look back now at my old iPhone XS and think it’s daft how much I obsessed over it looking perfect considering that now I have the 12 Pro I don’t really give a s### about my old XS anymore.

Just look after your products (use cases and screen protectors for peace of mind) but just use them normally and expect scratches etc to appear and remember later down the line when you come to sell your device anyone in the market to buy a used device will expect odd dings, scratches and marks on it and won’t be bothered, because if they were they wouldn’t be buying second hand devices in the first place.
 
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