These posts are ruining the forums. Some cases they are funny but, really?
Back to the question of the OP. I think I agree with you for the most part, and I know this isn't exactly a valid excuse because people have come up with numerous ways to make the phone better, but Apple always claims to "want to do it right and better than everyone else."
Take "no task bar notifications" for instance. I have JB'ed my phone, and used notifier, it worked great and was helpful. Why hasn't Apple done it? Not sure... I think at some point it will come, as they like to add very minor improvements as very large selling points for future phones/iOS updates. I think they are probably trying to figure out a better notification system (didn't they pick up the WebOS notification designer recently?), so hopefully we can see it in the near future.
Bottom line is Apple likes to do things their own way while preserving their view on how an iPhone should look, feel, operate.
Posts like "cool story bro" are NOT ruining the forums. They are (properly IMHO) making fun of idiots and trolls who logon here to post these stupid android-is better-threads.
Listen OP, if Android is better, then return the iPhone and go back to your Android phone. If you don't like paying a few bucks for apps that add functionality, then buy a phone with that type of stuff built in for free. Your post is well written and shows a good understanding of how the iPhone works, so it doesn't sound like the lack of functionality your desire is a surprise to you. Did you buy the iPhone is spite of its limitations?
The only legitimate reason for you to have posted would be to ask for advice regarding how to get those functions back (through apps or otherwise).