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I don't know how to have fun anymore

dukebound85

dukebound85

macrumors Core
Original poster
Jul 17, 2005
19,218
4,342
5045 feet above sea level
Since moving to NY, I don't know how to have fun. No longer do I have close friends as I had back in CO, but merely work acquaintances. Everyone I work with are the age of my parents, married and have kids my age. They are nice but yea... I don't do anything on the weekends anymore as I have no one to go out with.

The highlight of my weekend is to sleep in to 12.

I try to go do stuff like go to Albany, go on bikerides but its just not fun anymore

How do I get out of this rut?
 
Well, I just spent $4.28 on a Quizno's Toasty Torpedo. It has 3 pieces of pepperoni and two slices of turkey. Didn't even have ham on it. They called it the Italian.

We can be miserable together.
 
How about inviting someone to go on a bikeride with you?
Or while you are riding, introduce yourself to others you see on the ride
You already have the same interest, so you might schedule a ride together

Ride some new places and make an adventure of it
Make a commitment not to come back till you have met 3 new people

Woof, Woof - Dawg
pawprint.gif
 
barr08 said:
craigs list - casual encounters ;)
Click to expand...

That's always good if you're really bored. :)


Duke- I find this hard to believe. I know you're not socially inept and you're also cute as hell.

BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.
 
leekohler said:
That's always good if you're really bored. :)


Duke- I find this hard to believe. I know you're not socially inept and you're also cute as hell.

BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.
Click to expand...

How can you find virtually every guy that posts a picture in the macrumors picture thread cute / hot / attractive? Statistically, that must be close to impossible.

OP, buy a newspaper, grab a seat at the bar and read. You'll learn stuff, get drunk, and you're always guaranteed to meet people.
 
allmIne said:
How can you find virtually every guy that posts a picture in the macrumors picture thread cute / hot / attractive? Statistically, that must be close to impossible.
Click to expand...

I've explained this to you before, and I'm not going to do it again. I don't find every guy on MR attractive. If you don't like me, put me on ignore. Otherwise, drop it. Because really- one more time, and you'll really be annoying me. Actually- I'll repost it for you:

leekohler said:
I don't compliment every guy who posts- but I do have a broad range of tastes, so perhaps it seems that way to you. In my experience, I've found that there is much to appreciate about many different kinds of looks and body types. I don't know about more babies, but perhaps the world would be a much nicer place if everyone opened themselves up to different things a bit more than they do. Redheads in particular are my favorite. If you've been paying attention, you already know that.

That and the fact that this forum has an unusually high amount of good-looking guys on it. ;)

If this notion somehow offends you, feel free to ignore my posts.
Click to expand...

BTW- have you seen any pics of Duke? Ouch. ;)

Rt&Dzine said:
Volunteer. You'll meet people and help people. It can be really fun.
Click to expand...

That's a great idea, and actually probably up your alley, Duke.
 
leekohler said:
I've explained this to you before, and I'm not going to do it again. I don't find every guy on MR attractive. If you don't like me, put me on ignore. Otherwise, drop it. Because really- one more time, and you'll really be annoying me. Actually- I'll repost it for you:



BTW- have you seen any pics of Duke? Ouch. ;)



That's a great idea, and actually probably up your alley, Duke.
Click to expand...

I'm not gay, so unfortunately his picture is of little interest to me.

My browser in work crashed while submitting that question last time; so I never bothered checking for an answer, as I assumed it hadn't been posted.

I didn't mean to offend you so badly - sorry! :eek:
 
Yes, volunteer work can open lots of doors. And if you can't find a bike (or car, or whatever) group to join, maybe you could start one? Also, think about taking a class. When I moved here, I started taking classes at the local community college--the ones that looked like the most fun--and met some folks who turned in to friends.

It seems to take longer to meet and make friends the older you get ... :eek:
 
If I was in a large country, I will EXPLORE. If only I had that liberty :mad:

Like, plan a 48 hr trip, prepare supplies, get a buddy along, have the grid points sussed out on a map, bring a snappy camera, and..just take off. Walk through the woods, bath in the streams, blend into nature, maybe even eat what you hunt, sleep under the stars cowboy style.

Then Sunday evening, go back to town, grab a booze at the pub, Monday's a new week. Sure you cant do this every weekend, but each trip can easily take a few weeks of planning in between to cover all the safety aspects of it.

Or, a personal favorite of mine, go to a place you like regularly, eventually that place will take on a personality of its own. Its not longer a place, but an extension of your life. Like the favourite Starbucks outlet - hang there for a few hours with ur Mac or a book, or even a magazine. If you're single, things can get interesting if you're there regularly enough and people find u more than just a passing face. Thats what I do. I have a pretty isolated life myself.
 
allmIne said:
I'm not gay, so unfortunately his picture is of little interest to me.

My browser in work crashed while submitting that question last time; so I never bothered checking for an answer, as I assumed it hadn't been posted.

I didn't mean to offend you so badly - sorry! :eek:
Click to expand...

Go back and read it along with the rest of the posts after it. You might find it enlightening. And maybe next time you'll be a little less judgmental of others. And seriously- Why do you care who I find attractive?

Sorry for the threadjack Duke. :)

I think the volunteering thing could be great for you. Are there any charities/causes you might be interested in?
 
do you play any sports? See if there is an adult league.
You could take up golf; its something you can play when your 79 years young!

Join the club, i'm out of work for almost a year and all my college buddies are up in boston.
 
leekohler said:
Go back and read it along with the rest of the posts after it. You might find it enlightening. And maybe next time you'll be a little less judgmental of others. And seriously- Why do you care who I find attractive?

Sorry for the threadjack Duke. :)

I think the volunteering thing could be great for you. Are there any charities/causes you might be interested in?
Click to expand...

I apologised Lee :) There was nothing whatsoever judgmental in my statement - I never said I thought it was right or wrong, just wondered why you had such a broad spectrum of tastes. It wasn't meant to be offensive. Thankfully, the respondents who quoted me in the original thread realised it wasn't meant offensively - you had me fearing the worst when you told me to go read it back!

Have a good one :)
 
MacDawg said:
How about inviting someone to go on a bikeride with you?
Or while you are riding, introduce yourself to others you see on the ride
You already have the same interest, so you might schedule a ride together

Ride some new places and make an adventure of it
Make a commitment not to come back till you have met 3 new people


Woof, Woof - Dawg
pawprint.gif
Click to expand...

Invite who is where I am having trouble. No longer do I have my brothers to just casually toss a football around when its nice out. No longer do I have my brothers to just talk about nothing at 2am. Calling home will never replicate that no matter how hard I want it to

I do like your idea about meeting fellow bikeriders. Will say its also tough going from a VERY bike friendly community to one where it isnt as much


barr08 said:
craigs list - casual encounters ;)
Click to expand...

oh man, not sure if I want to go that route lol

poopyhead said:
start going to bars, coffee shops, or church so that you can meet people your age.

you mentioned riding your bike, see if any of the bike stores in your area sponsor a club or group ride
Click to expand...

That's somthing I need to work on as I am not the most outgoing person. I just need to become involved more but it's so easy to just do nothing sadly. I don't know what it is. I have such a desire to change yet don't act on it.

leekohler said:
BUT- I think you might just be homesick and don't feel up to trying to socialize. Also- upstate NY isn't exactly a social mecca for someone your age. Is there anyway you could relocate closer to NYC? I have no doubt you'd be just fine there socially.
Click to expand...

I am VERY homesick. As far as relocating to NYC, that's not a possibility

Rt&Dzine said:
Volunteer. You'll meet people and help people. It can be really fun.
Click to expand...

Thanks, that would be a nice outlet

jarjarblinks said:
If I was in a large country, I will EXPLORE. If only I had that liberty :mad:

Like, plan a 48 hr trip, prepare supplies, get a buddy along, have the grid points sussed out on a map, bring a snappy camera, and..just take off. Walk through the woods, bath in the streams, blend into nature, maybe even eat what you hunt, sleep under the stars cowboy style.

Then Sunday evening, go back to town, grab a booze at the pub, Monday's a new week. Sure you cant do this every weekend, but each trip can easily take a few weeks of planning in between to cover all the safety aspects of it.

Or, a personal favorite of mine, go to a place you like regularly, eventually that place will take on a personality of its own. Its not longer a place, but an extension of your life. Like the favourite Starbucks outlet - hang there for a few hours with ur Mac or a book, or even a magazine. If you're single, things can get interesting if you're there regularly enough and people find u more than just a passing face. Thats what I do. I have a pretty isolated life myself.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the idea:)



Its just that I work, come home, go to gym, eat, sleep, and do it all over again. Outside of work I dont interact with anyone really and usually am wiped. I wish I had a dog (apt wont allow) or something

Part of me wants to move back to fort collins right as I can afford to, as frankly, engineering is not near as glamorous as i would have hoped it would be which doesnt help my mindset either
 
puckhead193 said:
do you play any sports? See if there is an adult league.
You could take up golf; its something you can play when your 79 years young!

Join the club, i'm out of work for almost a year and all my college buddies are up in boston.
Click to expand...

I second this.

Duke, are you fresh out of college? I remember hitting a HORRIBLE rut when I was fresh out of school, and I was living in Boston with college friends! It can be hard to get out and meet new people...when I hit a similar rut after uprooting myself and moving to NJ I joined a rugby team. It was a great way to find new people, have something to do on weekends, and a huge network of people who would be there as soon as you mentioned the word "beer". I've made great friends that way, and it helped jump start me into being social again.

You aren't near Binghamton by any chance are you? A friend of mine from college lives there and runs some sort of website of what's going on in Binghamton, when I am home tonight I will dig it up and link it if you want.
 
dukebound85 said:
That's somthing I need to work on as I am not the most outgoing person. I just need to become involved more but it's so easy to just do nothing sadly. I don't know what it is. I have such a desire to change yet don't act on it.
Click to expand...

I'm not an outgoing person either. last year I moved 800 miles to a new city in a new state where I knew no one. For 8 months I sat at home, did nothing, and became very very depressed. One day I had had enough and decided to change. I started going to church and 2 bars that catered to my demographic (liberal yuppie hipsters and lawyers/lawschool students). I made friends with several waitresses and people who went to the bars and have branched out from there.

look for bars that cater to people like you and have a trivia night. If you are like me and painfully shy, drink two beers then ask to join a team (I've never once been turned down). You get to meet new people and talk to them for 2 hours over a group activity which means that there is always something to talk about.
 
Try an online dating service.


What's the worst that can happen? You make a friend? Enemy? Perhaps she has hot friends? Sweet. Get laid. Three-some? Four-some!?!


Uh......back on topic, try getting a flatmate your age rather than live alone. You may all get along really well, and make friends with his/her friends. Three-some? Four-some? Five-some!!
 
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