I Feel Like an Underachieving Loser

Status
Not open for further replies.

Guitarius

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jul 8, 2004
599
0
Louisiana
For some reason, I've lately been looking up and talking to old friends of mine. Highschool, middleschool, towns I used to live in. I gotta tell you, talking to them really makes me feel like an underachieving loser. I know guys that ended up at Berkeley, NYU, Chicago. I know a girl that has work hung in galleries in Europe. I say girl. I haven't seen her since 8th grade...

Makes me wonder where I went wrong. Makes me wonder why I can't get out this ****ing town. No matter how many time I try to get out, it's like a trap that keeps sucking me back. Makes me hope that they're all lying because they're more pathetic than I am.

I hate everyone. Well, at least I know I'm not the only one. Maybe I'm meant to just stay here and be a townie. Why not? Good bars, good food. I'm gonna die here. I feel it.
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
Don't worry, you'll catch up to those shooting stars when the drugs and alcohol turn their rapid rise into a downward spiral. ;)
 

question fear

macrumors 68020
Apr 10, 2003
2,273
77
The "Garden" state
dude-move for a year. apply to city year or something, get yourself out for a bit. at least then if you go back there you're going back for you, and if you need an excuse or a reason to leave you'll have one.

and if there's familial obligations holding you there, try easing out slowly....but it sounds like what you need is to change swiftly and decisively. that'll at least get you one great story, how you got out of your town.

do you have a bachelor's degree? if not, apply to where you want to live and try school. if you already do, try teach for america or something. I guess what I am suggesting is just to get out, try something, and there's lots of 6month-1yr programs you can do to ease your time out, or give yourself a low-risk chance to try again.
 

Guitarius

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jul 8, 2004
599
0
Louisiana
Honestly, I couldn't tell you why it's bad, other than the weather and I don't like most of the people I go to school with. I think I just need some new scenery. And when I finally get my chance to get out, I transfer schools and guess where I go. New Orleans. So I'm back at my original school.

I'm in college right now, working on my bachelor's. I hear there's a demand for fine arts teachers around the country right now, so once I get that, that's probably what I'll end up doing, unless I can figure out a way to pay for grad school.

I'm just really bored with my life right now. The minute exciting stuff starts happening, it all goes downhill. I been kinda down for the last few weeks.

I will survive though.
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
Guitarius said:
I'm just really bored with my life right now. The minute exciting stuff starts happening, it all goes downhill. I been kinda down for the last few weeks.

I will survive though.

feel the same way. slipping deeper into depression thats a looming black hole, or am i already sucked in?

i need to move from where i am, but i can't right now, im trapped and alone, i hate both of those feelings.

you'll make it through though, hang in there.
 

scem0

macrumors 604
Jul 16, 2002
7,028
1
back in NYC!
Everyone measures success differently.

For all you know, Ms. 8th grader art gallery has an insatiable heroine addiction. If she doesn't and she's enjoying life, then be happy for her. In my opinion, happiness/success comes from the inside out, not vice versa.

If you really are unhappy, then maybe you are doing something wrong, but based on all the things I've heard you say from other threads (one in particular ;)), you seem like a guy who is on top of his ****. That's more than most people can say, so I'd say you are pretty successful :).

_Emerson
 

barneygumble

macrumors 6502a
Apr 18, 2005
726
0
Cheer up mate, life is not about position. Enjoy what makes you happy if not and you can walk away do it, their is no point doing something you hate.
 

Guitarius

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jul 8, 2004
599
0
Louisiana
It's not that I'm unhappy. Far from it. Just not as happy as I'd like to be. It seems like there's something major missing from my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed. Just...not complete.

You'd think being a writer I would be more articulate. :rolleyes:
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
Guitarius said:
It's not that I'm unhappy. Far from it. Just not as happy as I'd like to be. It seems like there's something major missing from my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed. Just...not complete.

You'd think being a writer I would be more articulate. :rolleyes:

ah well yeah, i know how that feels, you will find what you need though, when you're not looking too.

but i AM depressed

:: goes off to dark lonesome corner ::
 

CanadaRAM

macrumors G5
Guitarius said:
Honestly, I couldn't tell you why it's bad, other than the weather and I don't like most of the people I go to school with. I think I just need some new scenery. And when I finally get my chance to get out, I transfer schools and guess where I go. New Orleans. So I'm back at my original school.

I'm in college right now, working on my bachelor's. I hear there's a demand for fine arts teachers around the country right now, so once I get that, that's probably what I'll end up doing, unless I can figure out a way to pay for grad school.

I'm just really bored with my life right now. The minute exciting stuff starts happening, it all goes downhill. I been kinda down for the last few weeks.

I will survive though.
Ah -- an artist and a musician - that's like taking a double major in poverty... ;)
 

eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,714
0
Gah! Plymouth
PlaceofDis said:
ah well yeah, i know how that feels, you will find what you need though, when you're not looking too.

but i AM depressed

:: goes off to dark lonesome corner ::
I know what depression is like, and i know what it sometimes leads to (don't go all mothering on me people yes i tried it once or twice or more times >_>)

Things always get better, most of the time, sometimes. ah crap now i made myself sad T______T

Think happy thoughts!
 

Guitarius

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jul 8, 2004
599
0
Louisiana
PlaceofDis said:
ah well yeah, i know how that feels, you will find what you need though, when you're not looking too.

but i AM depressed

:: goes off to dark lonesome corner ::
Aww...come here. Don't be depressed.
 

scem0

macrumors 604
Jul 16, 2002
7,028
1
back in NYC!
I know this is cliche, but if you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.

I'm a pretty understanding guy. I would be glad to help you sort out whatever problems you are having. :)

I know what it's like to be lonely and not have anyone to talk to. :(

That was aimed at Guitarius and PlaceofDis, but it applies to anyone :).

_Emerson
 

Guitarius

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jul 8, 2004
599
0
Louisiana
scem0 said:
I know this is cliche, but if you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.

I'm a pretty understanding guy. I would be glad to help you sort out whatever problems you are having. :)

I know what it's like to be lonely and not have anyone to talk to. :(

That was aimed at Guitarius and PlaceofDis, but it applies to anyone :).

_Emerson
Thanks. I may take you up on that one day. But now is bed time. Gotta get up and go on with the grind tomorrow. Politcal Science and Psyc...I will never understand why those classes are in my major...oh well.
 

Grey Beard

macrumors 65816
Sep 10, 2005
1,008
62
The Antipodes.
The Missing Link - found deep in Texas

scem0 said:
I suppose you could say that I feel the same way.

I know what I'm missing though... a boyfriend :rolleyes: ;).

_Emerson
I think that's Dave's troubles too, thinking back to other threads, and implied comments. Perhaps, some of you Southern Belles could send him your suggestions pertaining to his locale.

Anyway hang in there Dave, you'll get yours, as will little Emo.

Kevin,
aka Grey Beard
Just play nice and play safe
 

bousozoku

Moderator emeritus
Jun 25, 2002
13,951
3
Gone but not forgotten.
Guitarius said:
It's not that I'm unhappy. Far from it. Just not as happy as I'd like to be. It seems like there's something major missing from my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed. Just...not complete.

You'd think being a writer I would be more articulate. :rolleyes:
I took all the chances and I had my job of a lifetime and I lived in a great city. Then, I stumbled. The pressure was immense and my coping mechanism often overwhelmed. I was doing the things that others I'd known would never attempt to accomplish and yet, I wasn't all that happy because I didn't have time to enjoy it. I worked 7 days per week, 18 hours per day. I was satisfied by my accomplishments but I had nothing else but my work.

There is much to be said about having time and being happy. Consider that you have something great.
 

Grey Beard

macrumors 65816
Sep 10, 2005
1,008
62
The Antipodes.
Dis

PlaceofDis said:
ah well yeah, i know how that feels, you will find what you need though, when you're not looking too.

but i AM depressed

:: goes off to dark lonesome corner ::
Dis aliter visum
Heaven thought otherwise.
 

PlaceofDis

macrumors Core
Jan 6, 2004
19,232
4
scem0 said:
I know this is cliche, but if you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.

I'm a pretty understanding guy. I would be glad to help you sort out whatever problems you are having. :)

I know what it's like to be lonely and not have anyone to talk to. :(

That was aimed at Guitarius and PlaceofDis, but it applies to anyone :).

_Emerson

i might take you up on that as well....

and im more than willing to talk to anyone on the boards if they need someone to talk to as well.....

and thanks eva01.... ill try to think happy things ;)
 

ibook30

macrumors 6502a
Jun 4, 2005
815
3
2,000 light years from home
scem0 said:
Everyone measures success differently.

For all you know, Ms. 8th grader art gallery has an insatiable heroine addiction. If she doesn't and she's enjoying life, then be happy for her. In my opinion, happiness/success comes from the inside out, not vice versa.

If you really are unhappy, then maybe you are doing something wrong, but based on all the things I've heard you say from other threads (one in particular ;)), you seem like a guy who is on top of his ****. That's more than most people can say, so I'd say you are pretty successful :).

_Emerson
Wow - wish this had been posted (said) to me a couple years ago- that and the "dude move somewhere for a year...." post. give yourself a break. Evaluate things from a different perspective. And if there is something you are missing, run after it FAST!
It's easy to look at what we are missing, but there is benefit from the work to find what we have. Grass is greener and all that jazz, but scemO did a great job of putting things in perspective - or maybe I just like reading about heroine addictions... I really love female protagonists too. (the first part was for real )
 

Grey Beard

macrumors 65816
Sep 10, 2005
1,008
62
The Antipodes.
Heroines and all that

ibook30 said:
but scemO did a great job of putting things in perspective - or maybe I just like reading about heroine addictions... I really love female protagonists too. (the first part was for real )
I think that scemO perhaps meant Heroin, but it fits either which way
Grey Beard
 

xsedrinam

macrumors 601
Oct 21, 2004
4,348
1
I always appreciate honesty and transparency and you're at least brave enough to articulate that. No silver bullet answers, but for all of us who've been there, here are a couple of things I've learned along the way:
1-If it's within your power, NEVER fall in to the trap of comparing yourself to others. It's a blackhole.
2-You are unique. There's just one "you". What are your strengths? If you're a University student, you should have had basic testing to see where your strengths lie (i.e. top five).
3-Go TOWARD those strengths and AWAY from people, places and things which rob your of developing your unique aptitudes.
4-You sound like you're on track with the "norm" of stage development and it's good to go through disillusionment as long as you recognize the "illusions" and take behavioral measures to abandon them.
5-70% of long term, perceived "success" is related to doing the "small things" and doing them well and with integrity. To thine own self be true.

The fact you're honest enough to recognize this and young enough to respond to change put you on an inside track for pulling through. Hang tough, be tough on yourself, but don't beat yourself up. You'll make it, but you may have to revisit and find your passion in "process" once again.
 

Status
Not open for further replies.