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I hate to ask this here, but it's like the only online community I know...

crazydreaming said:
Ok Ok, I've read posts from other members regarding dating and wondered who would ever ask questions like that here... well, turns out I myself can use some advice... Here goes, thanks for listening:

I'm a freshman in college and its been a long time since I've been on a date. I've always been interested in this girl that I sit next to in one of my classes. One night it turned out that she was at a party I was at. We started talking and hit it off. From then on we weren't strangers in class anymore. We'd chat and walk together to our classes that we had together. There is never much awkward silences, we always find something to talk about... and not just school.

So, anyway, I asked her if she wanted to study with me for an economics exam we had coming. Without hesitation we agreed, and so spent many hours studying in the library one night. At times we had difficulty studying because we would wander off topic and chat about other things. Next thing I know she asked me back to her place, we had more studying but we were getting slightly hunger... we needed a break. So she gave me the tour of her campus townhouse and introduced me to her roomates. Then we had some cake. We retreated to her room and finished studying. It was actually a great help for each of us studying together; it forced me to do good on the exam and it made it really fun. I said we should do something together sometime, and she agreed. Then I left.

The next day we didn't see each other as much as we normally did because she finished her exam way before me. I had it all planned out that I was going to ask her to a movie or something, but didn't had very few chances to do so. So, during our music history class (the one where we sit next to each other) was my only chance. We usually leave the class together, but another curve-ball came up... I had to stay after to talk with my prof. about something... :( So. So, at the last minute of class I said we should do something later on or something like that and she told me to get her screen-name off facebook and send her a message (like myspace) --there wasn't much time.

I did, asked her what she was up to tonight. She already had plans to hang out with her crew team and call it an early night because she had something early in the morning, but made the suggestion towards doing something tomorrow night. She's a big Harry Potter fan ie. read all the books, so I asked her if she seen it. Thankfully she said no, so I aksed her if she wanted to see it Sat night and she said yes. Gave me her number so we agreed that I'd give her a call tomorrow and work out the details... To me it is weak that I asked her online... I really really wanted to ask her in person, but wasted my chances. Thank god she said yes.

So I have a date. I've really never done a movie date as a first date and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I went out tonight and picked out a nice outfit... I needed clothes anyway. I have a sense that I'm in over my head... she's a junior.. but we really hit it off and have a good time together, so everything should be fine.

She's a pisces and I'm a Capricorn... I don't know if anyone believes in that stuff but I've sometimes found it true in the past.

Just wondering if there's any suggestions to the movie date... Should I give her a rose or something when I go to pick her up? What should I do at the movie? after the movie? ...

Thanks everyone!
I'm so excited :D
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It sounds like you did great. I've been in your shoes several times, and it worked out. You got past the hard part, which was the initial conversation. It's all downhill from there. Good luck.
 
You are a freshman and she is a junior. Do not let her treat you like a toy and have her way with you ... upon further reflection, discard this useless advisory.
 
crazydreaming said:
So I have a date. I've really never done a movie date as a first date and was wondering if anyone had any advice. I went out tonight and picked out a nice outfit... I needed clothes anyway. I have a sense that I'm in over my head... she's a junior.. but we really hit it off and have a good time together, so everything should be fine.
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Don't dress up, please! Just dress nicely. That can mean any shirt with buttons and a collar. You don't have to wear a proper "shirt" or anything. Dress for the occasion, which would mean jeans are fine as long as they're clean and look okay.


Should I give her a rose or something when I go to pick her up?
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No, because you're not officially on a date. What if she thought she was going out with a friend. You better be crystal clear what is going on and how she sees this before you buy her a rose before going to watch a movie. That's a bit much for a movie date.

What should I do at the movie?
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Watch. :p

after the movie? ...
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Use your imagination.
 
Buy her a pink iPod mini and ask her to marry you.

!taken from mymemory's playbook!

But in all seriously-ness, I'll agree with what others have said. Your number one job on the date is to show her a FUN time. Drop all expectations, be yourself, and if she likes you, she'll let you know by laughing at your patheticly lame jokes and grab opportunities to brush up against you.

/housesitting right now, no internet :(
//stealing neighbour's crappy wi-fi
///argh! it CUTS in and out!

\listening to Push the Button by Sugababes (me love!)
\\*someone's knocking on the door...
\\\I'm not a criminal, honest!
 
mad jew said:
From last weekend: don't ask her if she's a stripper no matter how emphatically you assure her that you think strippers are cool. I wasn't even trying to ask the girl out, just start a conversation... :eek:
Sorry about that. :eek:
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...etc

ha ha ha

Suave Aussie small talk ...

"Ah ... yeah ... gidday. Great party|show|beach|lecture. Are you a stripper? Reckon you could keep your mouth shut for a week? Wanna test my ute tray? Ripper beaut!"
 
This is looking a bit further than just this first movie date...

but you mentioned that she's on the crew team? Then be prepared! Varsity athletics (and I know this for crew for a fact) take up and consume your life. But hey, look at the bright side, at least you know she is committed and is responsible. :eek:
 
So how was it, crazydreaming?

After that long thread it becomes a big issue, how was the date?...details please.....:)
 
yeah let us know how it went....

and if you haven't gone yet, well, definitely no rose, dress casual, but decent, good jeans, button down shirt, decent shoes, simple. watch the movie, chat of course, but not during the movie, unless she obviously doesn't mind little snippets here and there...something stating ou like a certain character etc, showing you actually like the movie and are not just there 'cause you wanna get in her pants.

and after, well, that's the best part. go for a coffee, or a drink (i have no idea how old you are, i don't get this freshman, junior thing, oh, and what's "crew team"???). have a snack too, but be careful what you eat unless you're comfortable making a mess of yourself and can make a joke out of it!

oh, and make sure you pay for her too. also, leave a decent tip if you're waited on, 20% is the standard (no, not 10%, not double the tax, but 20%). it'll show you're not a tight ass among other things.

good luck!!!!
 
evoluzione said:
(i have no idea how old you are, i don't get this freshman, junior thing, oh, and what's "crew team"???).
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College freshman = 17-19, college junior = 20-21-ish. Of course, that assumes going to college right from high school and no extra time at each level.
Crew team = rowboat racing. Similar practice regimen to hockey, early mornings, most days of the week. Fewer bruises I bet though. ;)
 
Counterfit said:
College freshman = 17-19, college junior = 20-21-ish. Of course, that assumes going to college right from high school and no extra time at each level.
Crew team = rowboat racing. Similar practice regimen to hockey, early mornings, most days of the week. Fewer bruises I bet though. ;)
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great, thanks for that :)

so he's a freshman, she's a junior (nice one), but they have the same class? how does that work? is that normal? eh, never mind, it's really not relevant to the story/thread...


i'm waiting for news as to how it went! did you talk about star signs? if you did, and she didn't run, she's yours dude... (that's my betting anyway!)
 
Counterfit said:
Crew team = rowboat racing. Similar practice regimen to hockey, early mornings, most days of the week. Fewer bruises I bet though. ;)
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Hey! Bruises can be had... ask a rower what it's like to catch a crab (and no, not the disgusting itchy buggy variety that hides in certain hairy regions).
 
Alright; I'm back... Now I have to tell you guys how it went because you asked and you gave advice.

Overall I think it went very well and I'll be seeing her again. I was nervous up until the point I picked her up, then everything just flowed. She talked a lot, but in a good way... She just seems comfortable talking to me about things.

movie... pretty straight forward. We talked a lot until the movie started, then quieted down through the movie. She sorta leaned up against me (hard to do with that damn armrest in the middle :()

Afterwards, things got a little tricky. It was late, like 11:45, and we both couldn't think of anything to possibly do on a Saturday night besides drinking... We had both had a rough previous night and needed to get up early the next day so we decided we wouldn't drink. So, coffee places all closed, she wasn't hungry. I didn't know what to do, but then she asked me to come to her place and see if anything fun was going on there.

-There wasn't much, just her roomates doing homework :eek: so I dunno, we just hung out and it was slightly quiet, talked about baking something :confused: but didn't have all the ingredients and she didn't want to go back out.. Eventually things started to get back on track. We went and hung out in her room for awhile and began chatting a lot. (no, didn't do anything physical). It was getting late and she needed to get up earlier and I did to, so I felt like I was keeping her up. I'm not sure if I read her right or not when I told her I was gonna get going soon. She wanted me to meet one of freinds that was going to stop by in a few minutes. So I did... then I slowly made my way to the door, but I'm just not sure if she really wanted me to leave or not. I just went with my instinct. She thanked me many times and said it was fun. I agreed and she hugged me, then I left.

Overall I think it went pretty good. It's obvious she has interest in me, and I definately am interested in her even more now that we got to know each other. We vagely talked about a future date. Long story short she has big plans to go out next weekend with a limo and the whole bit, and asked me to go, but basically I can't go where they are going because my ID doesn't work there...

So, I'm going to have to get creative and find some ideas of things to do to avoid having awkward situations looking for something to do. I'm thinking next time we'll do something involving drinking :D

Thanks a ton!
 
Wow. Congrats! Sounds like a nice night... and she definitely sounds interested in you as more than just a friend.

Introducing you to her friend, actually, asking you to stay to meet a friend. Hmm. Although that could mean maybe she intends on hooking the two of you up together? :confused: I don't understand women all that well anyway. Sigh.

But the invite to go party w/ her... sounds promising, too bad you can't go though. All in all, sounds like things are heading in the direction you wanted. :D
 
devilot said:
Wow. Congrats! Sounds like a nice night... and she definitely sounds interested in you as more than just a friend.

Introducing you to her friend, actually, asking you to stay to meet a friend. Hmm. Although that could mean maybe she intends on hooking the two of you up together? :confused: I don't understand women all that well anyway. Sigh.

But the invite to go party w/ her... sounds promising, too bad you can't go though. All in all, sounds like things are heading in the direction you wanted. :D
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Yea, it was a fun night as far as first dates go.

Um, the freind was a guy... don't think she was trying to hook us up... I hope :p

I just have to come up with a good idea for another date.
 
Counterfit said:
College freshman = 17-19, college junior = 20-21-ish. Of course, that assumes going to college right from high school and no extra time at each level.
Crew team = rowboat racing. Similar practice regimen to hockey, early mornings, most days of the week. Fewer bruises I bet though. ;)
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Usually no propect of drowning in hockey, however, on account of the water being frozen.
 
crazydreaming said:
She wanted me to meet one of freinds that was going to stop by in a few minutes. So I did...
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That's for her to get the second opinion from the friend about you. ;)

Sounds like everything went well.
Invited you back to her place, you say? No better sign than that.
 
kiwi-in-uk said:
...etc

ha ha ha

Suave Aussie small talk ...

"Ah ... yeah ... gidday. Great party|show|beach|lecture. Are you a stripper? Reckon you could keep your mouth shut for a week? Wanna test my ute tray? Ripper beaut!"
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As opposed to "Baaa, baaaa, baa baaa baaaa"?

;)
 
You should probably remember, next time you see her, to make physical contact. Say you're sitting by each other talking, then find some reason to touch her arm or leg or hair. For example, if I like a girl's hair, I might gently sweep it aside over her shoulder. If those gentle touches work, then give her a kiss. Don't wait for the strained goodbye kiss, but do it earlier. All this depends on how she's acting and reacting to you. But you definitely have to do this by the second date, or else she'll think you're just friends.
 
MarkCollette said:
You should probably remember, next time you see her, to make physical contact. Say you're sitting by each other talking, then find some reason to touch her arm or leg or hair. For example, if I like a girl's hair, I might gently sweep it aside over her shoulder. If those gentle touches work, then give her a kiss. Don't wait for the strained goodbye kiss, but do it earlier. All this depends on how she's acting and reacting to you. But you definitely have to do this by the second date, or else she'll think you're just friends.
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check
 
crazydreaming said:
I have also met and spent time with her roomates which are like her best freinds.
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All seems to have gone well and you now have a decent foundation to build on. Within this thread have been some amusing comments suggesting that Mendelsohn's "Wedding March" may not be too far off, but let common sense and sound judgment guide you.

When something good comes along, demonstrate that you are interested in developing the relationship, rather than looking to quickly capitalize on it. In the long run, the former approach pays better dividends.
 
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