svenmany
macrumors 68030
Some routers forward mDNS across subnets/VLANs, so if your Mac's WiFi interface is on one subnet/VLAN and Ethernet is on another, that would cause this problem.
I know this because I have a… complex home network. I use many VLANs to segment off the unholy spawn that is all IoT/smarthome gear. Unfortunately, with HomeKit, you need to forward mDNS (Bonjour) across the VLANs or it doesn't work well. This isn't a problem—I think—if your WiFi and Ethernet interfaces are on the same VLAN, but if they're on different ones (e.g. for "guest" WiFi or various other reasons like a VLAN for each WiFi version / band), the Mac gets confused and doesn't realize it's talking to itself.
I'm not sure why the mDNS response packet can't include a node-unique identifier (like a UUID initialized on boot) that the node then uses to realize it just said hello, er, bonjour, to itself across a network… Maybe I should put that in a feedback ticket.
I've been looking a bit at https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc6762.html, which is where this is all documented. Apple doesn't own the protocol and has to interoperate with other non-Apple devices on the network.
There is a lot of interesting things in the RFC about the challenges of a computer having multiple interfaces reachable from each other via broadcast. Apple could have bugs in this but the OP had the issue with only a single interface in use during testing.