I suggest taking a bullet train to france and jump right into it ... get the hotest or first girl you see at a coffee shop to help you. Brush your teeth and smile lots.
French mostly is a very official language - yet there is an underground of phrases that'll be VERY cool to learn.
remember - the most spoken language on earth today is NOT english but French.
Really? Thought that's Chinese (Mandarin or Cantonese, whichever that is)?