I went to book a Chemical Dependency Test...

waloshin

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Oct 9, 2008
3,169
66
And I thought it would be blood work and maybe a urine test, but nope.

I am applying for addictions counselling and have to get a Chemical Dependency Test so I walked into the Addictions Counselling room at the hospital and the head lady asked me some questions. She wanted to know how old I am, why I chose this career, how much drugs and alcohol do I do?

She said the session will last about an hour to an hour and a half.

She also wants to look into if I am chemically dependent and if I've been affected by anyone around my with an addiction.

So this is going to be the weirdest interview I have ever had.
 

MacNut

macrumors Core
Jan 4, 2002
21,547
7,802
CT
Just don't show the councilor any of the threads you have started here.
 

Hmac

macrumors 68020
May 30, 2007
2,128
2
Midwest USA
Rare to see an addiction counselor that isn't a recovering addict or alcoholic. I think they make the most effective counselors.
 

Ttownbeast

macrumors 65816
May 10, 2009
1,135
0
Want to know what kinds of drugs someone has taken? Take a hair sample quizzes can be manipulated I should know I was stoned as hell the last time I took one and I passed squeaky clean. Drug assessment tests are a joke even if you're honest the best results one can attain from them is what degree of psychological risk for addictive behaviors a person possibly has.

Of course it don't work really well if you're bald, but there are other more invasive methods available.
 

waloshin

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Oct 9, 2008
3,169
66
*Update* With more questions.

She is going to be asking me questions like this and here will be my responses.

She: Do you drink every day at certain times of the day?

Me: No

She: Does alcohol, drugs affect your social life, work and family?

Me: No

She: What type of drugs do you do?

Me: Don't do drugs, tried once didn't get high. *

She: When was the last time you drank?

Me: 6 months ago I have no ambition to drink.

She: Do you use drugs for other uses then medical?

Me: No

* So do you think she is going to believe me? I don't do drugs as their is no reason to, I don't drink because it's a waste of money, and alcohol doesn't taste that good. *
 

andalusia

macrumors 68030
Apr 10, 2009
2,945
5
Manchester, UK
Well if they are the answers you give then she's no reason not to believe you.
Alcohol tastes bad? Or the drinks that contain alcohol taste bad?... All of them? Are you sure?
 

waloshin

macrumors 68040
Original poster
Oct 9, 2008
3,169
66
Well if they are the answers you give then she's no reason not to believe you.
Alcohol tastes bad? Or the drinks that contain alcohol taste bad?... All of them? Are you sure?
Well its not that they tasted bad I guess it's just nothing really special. Its not worth hurting your liver and other organs for.
 

Queso

Suspended
Mar 4, 2006
11,832
7
Well its not that they tasted bad I guess it's just nothing really special. Its not worth hurting your liver and other organs for.
I don't know. There's plenty of lovely alcohol I happily damage my liver with :cool:
 

dmr727

macrumors G3
Dec 29, 2007
8,623
25
NYC
* So do you think she is going to believe me? I don't do drugs as their is no reason to, I don't drink because it's a waste of money, and alcohol doesn't taste that good. *
Soooo...let's get this straight. You're telling me that all these crazy threads you've been creating - they were created while you were sober?

Now I need a drink. ;)
 

instaxgirl

macrumors 65816
Mar 11, 2009
1,438
1
Edinburgh, UK
Well if they are the answers you give then she's no reason not to believe you.
Alcohol tastes bad? Or the drinks that contain alcohol taste bad?... All of them? Are you sure?
I took this line until I actually found some drinks that I like.

I still think that when ordering something new there's a 70-30 chance it'll be rank but some alcoholic drinks are truly delicious. I think lot of the cheap, common ones are at best, nothing special and at worst, truly unpleasant.

Anyway, I don't see why she'd disbelieve your answers. I drink very rarely but often drink a lot when I do (I drink to get drunk, shoot me) and have never taken any type of recreational drug, I don't even smoke. You're not that uncommon.
 

Zombie Acorn

macrumors 65816
Feb 2, 2009
1,301
9,062
Toronto, Ontario
How are you going to relate to clients if you've never had an addiction?

I have the solution and its under 20 dollars and will only take a full Saturday of dedication and perseverance: