So to summarize 2009 can take UDIMM or RDIMM, (RAM doesn't come both UDIMM and RDIMM, correct?), but get RDIMM as that's faster for MP. Crucial offers UDIMM for MP??
It can take UDIMM, RDIMM, and non-ECC memory. The trick is, you cannot mix these types.
And No, there's no single stick that's both UDIMM and RDIMM compliant (one or the other, as an additional chip is involved if it's RDIMM).
Get 1066 Mhz or higher, whatever is cheaper.
Get ECC (Error Correction), OWC talks about how theirs is 72 bit, higher bit the better?
Get thermal sensor.
The easiest thing to do, is order a memory kit from either OWC or Trans Int'l, as the specialize in Mac Pros (guarantee their hardware, and test that what the sell does in fact work properly).
Just be careful with mixing memory types, which includes the 4GB UDIMM sticks sold by OWC (they state that it will not work with the OEM memory that shipped with the system or the smaller UDIMM's they sell).
Others that have bought different brands of 4GB UDIMM's have had success with mixing it (Crucial for example) not sure what the difference is for sure, but the thermal sensor may be out of range in terms of it's voltage output).
But it's still easier IMO to stick with either OWC or Trans Int'l.
OWC offers multi-channel, good to get multi-channel?
Don't worry about this; it's what I was getting to about the different channel configurations (i.e. most software cannot take advantage of triple channel configurations <provides additional bandwidth for memory>), but the extra capacity of filling the 4th DIMM slot per CPU will have a notable effect (reduce or eliminate the need for page outs = using the disk as virtual memory, and it's much slower).
Which is why capacity trumps bandwidth for almost all usage patterns (there are exceptions that the triple channel configuration can be utilized, but it's really rare on workstations right now).
So make sure you get sufficient capacity for your software, and don't worry about triple channel.
Crucial mentions their memory is 1.5V, lower voltage the better?
That's the voltage spec the memory is supposed to run at in the '09 & '10 systems, so there's nothing special about it (but earlier forms of DDR3 designed to run at higher voltages, and wouldn't work properly if at all - came out before any of the LGA1366 parts = Nehalem i7-9xx and Xeon 3500/5500 series <before anything Westmere>).