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iGary's Guide to the Movies™

iGary

iGary

Guest
Original poster
May 26, 2004
19,580
7
Randy's House
1. Do not bring a three year old to a PG-13 movie that is three hours long and first, expect him to sit through the whole thing, second, not go "Mommy, where is the gorilla?" "Mommy why did he do that," "Mommy what's that."

2. Do not open your phone and do text messaging while the movie is playing. Your lighted LCD is just as annoying as you talking on it.

3. Do not kick the seat in front of you two hundred times during the movie. In fact, if anyone is in front of you tuck your legs in.

4. Do not look for two people sitting by themselves in the far corner of the theater and then sit right in front of them.

5. Do not give a blow by blow "Yeah, that was in the book, no that wasn't in the book" commentary to your friend next to you during the film.

6. Do not bring your 6 year old to and "R" movie. It's embarrassing to watch boobies with a 6 year old next to you.

7. If you do bring your kid, don't tell him to sit in his seat 50 times and do nothing about it - he's playing you. If he doesn't sit down, leave.

8. Don't come to the movie 15 minutes late and walk in front of 20 people trying to watch the movie so you can get a seat.

That said, we decided that we're not going to the movies for anything but an 11:00 p.m. showing anymore. Period. It just isn't worth the hassle.
 
Capt Underpants said:
I don't think that text messaging during a movie is a big deal... I do it, and I see people do it. It certainly isn't as bad as talking.
Click to expand...


:eek:

Mr. Underpants. For shame.
 
Capt Underpants said:
I don't think that text messaging during a movie is a big deal... I do it, and I see people do it. It certainly isn't as bad as talking.
Click to expand...
depends if you got a bright old screen beeming out like a torch, blinding the bloke behind you:D
 
iGary said:
1. Do not bring a three year old to a PG-13 movie that is three hours long and first, expect him to sit through the whole thing, second, not go "Mommy, where is the gorilla?" "Mommy why did he do that," "Mommy what's that."

2. Do not open your phone and do text messaging while the movie is playing. Your lighted LCD is just as annoying as you talking on it.

3. Do not kick the seat in front of you two hundred times during the movie. In fact, if anyone is in front of you tuck your legs in.

4. Do not look for two people sitting by themselves in the far corner of the theater and then sit right in front of them.

5. Do not give a blow by blow "Yeah, that was in the book, no that wasn't in the book" commentary to your friend next to you during the film.

6. Do not bring your 6 year old to and "R" movie. It's embarrassing to watch boobies with a 6 year old next to you.

7. If you do bring your kid, don't tell him to sit in his seat 50 times and do nothing about it - he's playing you. If he doesn't sit down, leave.

8. Don't come to the movie 15 minutes late and walk in front of 20 people trying to watch the movie so you can get a seat.

That said, we decided that we're not going to the movies for anything but an 11:00 p.m. showing anymore. Period. It just isn't worth the hassle.
Click to expand...
Well put!

Actions like this can sure ruin a good movie.
 
Capt Underpants said:
I don't think that text messaging during a movie is a big deal... I do it, and I see people do it. It certainly isn't as bad as talking.
Click to expand...
And you wonder why people stare at you or become upset.

How rude!
 
Painfully funny stuff, iGary.
We took our [then] 3.5 year old boy to see Polar Express last November, thinking he could sit through that, and that since it'd be filled with kids anyways, even a little acting up wouldn't be too bad.
He sat perfectly still and quiet during the previews and for the first 20 minutes of the flick.....then the candy ran out. He became a bit antsy and started climbing on us and being loud enough to make us shush him audibly.
Even though it was a matinee and there were kids everywhere, we took him out of the theater because we felt he was too disruptive.

Penalty stroke - in our rush to get out of the theater with as little disruption as possible, we left his brand new winter cap on the seat. We were actually in the area again around the time the movie was ending, so I used my stub to get back in as the credits rolled and retrieve it.
 
Ain't the student life great? I saw Harry Potter and Star Wars on their opening day here in empty theatres. I went to the 11am showing on a school day. No kids cause they're at school, no parents cause they're at work.

Couple of years ago I went and saw Star Wars II in the old art deco theatre we have in town that used to be an acting theatre. It seats about 1500 and I was the ONLY person there. Shame though, it closed down a while later and has now been turned into a happy-clappy goddy-goddy church thingy.

Early morning school day movies are the best.
 
iGary said:
6. Do not bring your 6 year old to and "R" movie. It's embarrassing to watch boobies with a 6 year old next to you.
Click to expand...

When "Scary Movie" first came out years ago, I went to see it with a bunch of friends. Sitting 2 rows behind us was a kid's 13th birthday party. I swear some of those kids must have been 9 or 10 years old.

Anyway, there's a scene in the movie where one of the Wayan brothers (they all look alike to me) puts his ear against the wall to try and hear something, and then a few seconds later, a penis "penetrates" through the wall and stabs his head/ear, killing him.

I wanted to laugh my fracking ass off, as did my friends, but we felt uncomfortable with the 9-13 year olds sitting behind us. I'm sure the little 9 year old girl was a little surprised that a giant hot dog can actually break through a wall and kill someone, but I don't think we were on the same wavelength at the time.....
 
And this is why home theaters rock.

That and no 15 minutes of commercials before the 15 minutes of previews before the 2.5 hour long movie!
 
iGary said:
1. Do not bring a three year old to a PG-13 movie that is three hours long and first, expect him to sit through the whole thing, second, not go "Mommy, where is the gorilla?" "Mommy why did he do that," "Mommy what's that."

2. Do not open your phone and do text messaging while the movie is playing. Your lighted LCD is just as annoying as you talking on it.

3. Do not kick the seat in front of you two hundred times during the movie. In fact, if anyone is in front of you tuck your legs in.

4. Do not look for two people sitting by themselves in the far corner of the theater and then sit right in front of them.

5. Do not give a blow by blow "Yeah, that was in the book, no that wasn't in the book" commentary to your friend next to you during the film.

6. Do not bring your 6 year old to and "R" movie. It's embarrassing to watch boobies with a 6 year old next to you.

7. If you do bring your kid, don't tell him to sit in his seat 50 times and do nothing about it - he's playing you. If he doesn't sit down, leave.

8. Don't come to the movie 15 minutes late and walk in front of 20 people trying to watch the movie so you can get a seat.

That said, we decided that we're not going to the movies for anything but an 11:00 p.m. showing anymore. Period. It just isn't worth the hassle.
Click to expand...


You need to add:
9. If you really have to eat during the film,
don't bring a huge bag of individually wrapped sweets.
If you do have to bring them,
Don't extend the agony you're inflicting on other people by very slowly undoing each sweet and the very slowly screw wrapped in to a small ball.
Do it quickly if you have to do it at all!!
 
Motley said:
And this is why home theaters rock.
Click to expand...

Although fitting that 40ft screen into the living room can be kinda tricky ;)

Agreed on all of those. Would also add a note to cinema owners...

9. Don't sell sweets or crisps in crinkly plastic bags. They're only minorly annoying at the start of the movie but at a key point, when someone's trying to get the last crumbs out of a corner, the noise is intensely annoying. Open popcorn containers and paper bags are fine. :p

There are a couple of good cinemas I go to that charge an extra £1 or so but you get an extra comfy seat that's properly stepped, they only hold about 50 people, you can take an alcoholic drink in with you - and that not very many people seem to know about...
 
iGary said:
3. Do not kick the seat in front of you two hundred times during the movie. In fact, if anyone is in front of you tuck your legs in.
Click to expand...
As a recipient of such chair kicks, there should be a law where it's permissible to kill the person sitting in the back.

Here's to the Crazy Ones ​
 
Applespider said:
Although fitting that 40ft screen into the living room can be kinda tricky ;)

Agreed on all of those. Would also add a note to cinema owners...

9. Don't sell sweets or crisps in crinkly plastic bags. They're only minorly annoying at the start of the movie but at a key point, when someone's trying to get the last crumbs out of a corner, the noise is intensely annoying. Open popcorn containers and paper bags are fine. :p

There are a couple of good cinemas I go to that charge an extra £1 or so but you get an extra comfy seat that's properly stepped, they only hold about 50 people, you can take an alcoholic drink in with you - and that not very many people seem to know about...
Click to expand...

We have cinemas here where the "seats" are designer leather lounges and you can have drinks and food brought to you during the movie at times you ask for. Nothing like hitting the middle of a long film and suddenly out of the blue a pizza and a bottle of red wine arrive at your lounge.

It's more expensive than regular theatres but it's for special outings and is a great way to see a movie.
 
Applespider said:
Although fitting that 40ft screen into the living room can be kinda tricky ;)

Agreed on all of those. Would also add a note to cinema owners...

9. Don't sell sweets or crisps in crinkly plastic bags. They're only minorly annoying at the start of the movie but at a key point, when someone's trying to get the last crumbs out of a corner, the noise is intensely annoying. Open popcorn containers and paper bags are fine. :p

There are a couple of good cinemas I go to that charge an extra £1 or so but you get an extra comfy seat that's properly stepped, they only hold about 50 people, you can take an alcoholic drink in with you - and that not very many people seem to know about...
Click to expand...

Well we seriously decided that we're not going to the movies anymore unless it's a really big release or something we really want to see. And if we do go, it will ba a late-night showing.

Seriously, this lady sat down in front of us with her 3 year old and he started asking questions (loudly) every two minutes. You think she would have gotten the hint when the couple in front of her got up and left. She just kept telling him "Shush, you have to whisper," and he just kept on doing it.

You really think she would have gotten the hint when we got up and moved. Oh, no. After about an hour of this I leaned over and said "Please!!" The poor kid nearly wet himself during the scenes with the natives.

So we move and get the blow by blow by the kid behind us who had seen the original telling his father who hadn't, and a bloke five seats down kept folding his legs alternately, kicking the seat every time he did it.

I was so enraged at the end of the movie (and the movie sucked) that it took me a couple of glasses of Merlot to get my head spun on straight again.

People just have no freaking manners anymore. So they win. I'm staying home.
 
Applespider said:
Although fitting that 40ft screen into the living room can be kinda tricky ;)
Click to expand...

8ft screen viewed from 15ft away is close enough for me, especially with a nice couch and a foot rest:cool:

Now I'll only go see movies in theaters if I'm really interested in them, otherwise I'll rent them when they come out and get a better experiance in the comfort of my own home.
 
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