iGary's Guide to the Movies™

[Chundles]

You call 11am early morning?
Now THAT'S a student!

11am is early when you go to sleep at 5am. And that's not on party nights, just a messed up body clock. I get through my once-a-week 8:30am classes like a zombie.

Problem is that holidays still have ages to go so I have to wait for the cinemas to empty again.

 

[Mr. Anderson]

The kid thing is annoying - and I think kids should only go to the early movies, period, where you're expected to find a bunch of other kids.

It was sad, but a year or two ago there was a news story about a 3 year old who went to the movies with his parents and choked to death on some popcorn - what was even worse was they were bringing the kid to see Alien vs. Predator......that's wrong on so many levels.

My 2 year old went to see his first movie just a couple months ago - Wallace and Gromit vs. the Were Rabbit He did pretty good, loved it and didn't really get scared, which was one concern, and we only were out in the lobby a couple times. But we took a seat on the isle so we wouldn't have to keep getting in peoples way. And it was a 1:30 movie.

D

 

[iGary]

The kid thing is annoying - and I think kids should only go to the early movies, period, where you're expected to find a bunch of other kids.

It was sad, but a year or two ago there was a news story about a 3 year old who went to the movies with his parents and choked to death on some popcorn - what was even worse was they were bringing the kid to see Alien vs. Predator......that's wrong on so many levels.

My 2 year old went to see his first movie just a couple months ago - Wallace and Gromit vs. the Were Rabbit He did pretty good, loved it and didn't really get scared, which was one concern, and we only were out in the lobby a couple times. But we took a seat on the isle so we wouldn't have to keep getting in peoples way. And it was a 1:30 movie.

D

Yeah, a 3 year old at an "R" movie - what the eff?

My mom let me see my first "R" when I was 16.

And look how awesome I turned out.

People are just plain messed up.

 

[Mr. Anderson]

Yeah, a 3 year old at an "R" movie - what the eff?

There are 'R' movies that 3 year old could see and not come away traumatized.

Two sets of alien monsters battling it out with humans is just wrong for a kid to see. I could even imagine showing something like that to my kid and not have to worry about nightmares.....

D

 

[Phat Elvis]

It was sad, but a year or two ago there was a news story about a 3 year old who went to the movies with his parents and choked to death on some popcorn - what was even worse was they were bringing the kid to see Alien vs. Predator......that's wrong on so many levels.

D

You wouldn't believe the things parents feed their kids before they're ready - 1 year olds chewing gum... Please no popcorn/nuts/hard candy/sunflower seeds until they have molars.

I believe that you should be old enough to actually remember your first rated R movie. "Stripes" was mine and I still love that movie.

 

[nomad01]

1. Do not bring a three year old to a PG-13 movie that is three hours long and first, expect him to sit through the whole thing, second, not go "Mommy, where is the gorilla?" "Mommy why did he do that," "Mommy what's that."
<SNIP>

iGary for President!!

I agree completely with all of those points and second it for theatre. Why do people pay 50 quid for a theatre ticket and then talk all the way through it???

I'd also add that waiting for the quiet bits to rustle your candy wrappers is NOT good. In fact... just don't unwrap them at all!

And just why does the seat kicker ALWAYS sit by me? Even if the place is virtually empty?!

A thought on the mobile phone/text messaging too... has anyone been to a concert lately and been utterly distracted by people lifting their brightly lit phones in the air to take a photo of the performer? I went to one concert last year and it was a seated, fairly quiet concert and I just couldn't get into the mood of the evening with the bl**dy mobile phone lights hovering in front of me.

 

[bartelby]

I've pretty much stopped going to big cinemas to see films.
If I do go I won't see a film unless the showing is after 10:30pm.

I prefer to go to art centres to see films now as the people who are there behave.

 

[clayj]

Gary, you're being far too polite to the offenders. I've found that a quite effective way to alter the behavior of idiots in a movie theatre is to get a VERY angry look on your face, shoot an "ahem" in their direction, and when you've got their attention, tell them VERY sternly to shut the hell up and turn that frakking/gorram* cellphone off (I don't care if they're talking on it or using it to text someone... if I'm aware of it, it's a problem) or quiet their stupid kid. This has always worked for me.

But I agree that there are far too many rude asshats walking the earth nowadays, and they all go to the movies. A home theatre is great, but it really is not a proper substitute for a giant movie screen and an earth-shaking audio system. I refuse to surrender to the rude and the moronic, so I will keep fighting the good fight.

A movie is a continuous experience; ANYTHING that detracts from the experience is permanent damage, as they're not going to rewind the film for you so you can see that bit again. So anyONE who detracts from the experience is gonna get a lungful from me. If I chase 'em out of the theatre, so much the better.

* Insert proper expletive here. Yes, I do say this to complete strangers. Sure gets their attention. And yes, this is a particularly sore point for me.

 

[iGary]

iGary for President!!

I agree completely with all of those points and second it for theatre. Why do people pay 50 quid for a theatre ticket and then talk all the way through it???

I'd also add that waiting for the quiet bits to rustle your candy wrappers is NOT good. In fact... just don't unwrap them at all!

And just why does the seat kicker ALWAYS sit by me? Even if the place is virtually empty?!

A thought on the mobile phone/text messaging too... has anyone been to a concert lately and been utterly distracted by people lifting their brightly lit phones in the air to take a photo of the performer? I went to one concert last year and it was a seated, fairly quiet concert and I just couldn't get into the mood of the evening with the bl**dy mobile phone lights hovering in front of me.

Yeah, rustling your Raisinettes half way through Kong is lame. No plastic wrapper shuffling.

 

[iGary]

Gary, you're being far too polite to the offenders. I've found that a quite effective way to alter the behavior of idiots in a movie theatre is to get a VERY angry look on your face, shoot an "ahem" in their direction, and when you've got their attention, tell them VERY sternly to shut the hell up and turn that frakking/gorram* cellphone off. (I don't care if they're talking on it or using it to text someone. If I'm aware of it, it's a problem.) This has always worked for me.

But I agree that there are far too many rude asshats walking the earth nowadays, and they all go to the movies. A home theatre is great, but it really is not a proper substitute for a giant movie screen and an earth-shaking audio system. I refuse to surrender to the rude and the moronic, so I will keep fighting the good fight.

* Insert proper expletive here. Yes, I do say this to complete strangers. Sure gets their attention.

When we were laving the theater, I looked at Rob and said "why do I feel bad?

Next time I'm not keeping my mouth shut, especially at today's movie prices.

 

[Lyle]

Just a gentle reminder, for those of you who get angry at the kids: That three year-old in front of you who keeps asking questions, or who gets impatient and starts bouncing up and down in his seat, or gets scared and starts crying -- he didn't drive himself to the theater and buy his ticket to the movie.

The parents who bring their kids out to the movies before they're really old enough to sit through it and behave are the ones you should be ticked off at. They are the ones being inconsiderate.

 

[iGary]

Just a gentle reminder, for those of you who get angry at the kids: That three year-old in front of you who keeps asking questions, or who gets impatient and starts bouncing up and down in his seat, or gets scared and starts crying -- he didn't drive himself to the theater and buy his ticket to the movie.

The parents who bring their kids out to the movies before they're really old enough to sit through it and behave are the ones you should be ticked off at. They are the ones being inconsiderate.

Oh, I'm never angry at the kids. Ever. Not their fault.

It's the parents I want to corner outside and shove a loaded weapon into their face.

 

[Lyle]

Oh, I'm never angry at the kids. Ever. Not their fault.

It's the parents I want to corner outside and shove a loaded weapon into their face.

Yeah, I already knew (or had the feeling) that you understand that three year-olds are not just like tiny little thirty year-olds, who should know better. I am still surprised at some people who don't get this and believe that you can, say, reason with a hysterical toddler. Some of those people are, of course, parents, but I guess we should save that for a different rant.

 

[iDM]

And this is why home theaters rock.

That and no 15 minutes of commercials before the 15 minutes of previews before the 2.5 hour long movie!

Well put whats up with paying 9.50 for a movie that you are then forced to sit through 30 minutes of advertisements and commercials. I saw a 8pm showing of Munich. We got to our seats at 7:45pm with advertisements running from then clear through the 8pm mark till 8:25pm when the movie actually started. It was ridiculous.

I am going to completely write off going to see movies at the theatre anymore, most DVD's can be owned for 10.00 anyway. With how crappy movies have been lately its like rolling the dice anyway not to mention all of the things you have to deal with as iGary mentioned earlier. I think I'm only going to attend movies that really draw me to them but only in a theater form. I would have liked to have seen the re-released Star Wars 4,5,6 in the theatre. I was fortunate enough to see the original Matrix in theaters.

 

[Applespider]

Well put whats up with paying 9.50 for a movie that you are then forced to sit through 30 minutes of advertisements and commercials.

Think yourself lucky. I pay about £12 by the time you take into account booking in advance - that's closer to $20 There's a reason I only see movies that I'm really keen on!

 

[Lacero]

I hate the commercials, but I love watching the movie trailers shown before the actual movie.

Here's to the Crazy Ones ​

 

[XNine]

When BAD BOYS II came out, me and the gf went to go see it. In front of us was a couple who had brought three children. One about 6, one about 4, and the other about 2-3. TO BAD BOYS II!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you ahven't seen this movie, let me tell you, it's pretty damn Raunchy for a rated R flick.

When the gun battles are going on, and there a guys eyes being blown out, guys being laid out at point blank by a shotgun, etc. this is **** your little children shouldn't be seeing.

Absolutely rediculous.

However, I have found that when people sit in front of you, like stupid teenage girls, its best to rock back and forth in the fetal position, and start moaning about carpet made of kitten fur, little men on the moon, and the breakfast of satan. They generally move and this allows you to put your fet up on the back of the chair.

 

[treblah]

A movie is a continuous experience; ANYTHING that detracts from the experience is permanent damage, as they're not going to rewind the film for you so you can see that bit again. So anyONE who detracts from the experience is gonna get a lungful from me. If I chase 'em out of the theatre, so much the better.

As a former projectionist, I loved the people who would ask me that.

Them: "Uh, could you rewind the last five minutes I had to go to the bathroom and there is no one else in there."

Me: "I would but the projector/platters only spin one way."

Them: "Just press rewind!"

Me: "I would but the rewind is broken." Under my breath "Dumba**"

 

[iDM]

I hate the commercials, but I love watching the movie trailers shown before the actual movie.

Here's to the Crazy Ones ​

I will agree with the movie trailers they are usually full length and exponentially better then any home TV that I have seen them on.

 

[brepublican]

A lot of these should apply to restaurants too. There is nothing more irritating than trying to eat while little Junior in the booth next to you is throwing a fit and throwing food debris all over the place (unless the same kid is doing the same thing during a screening of your favourite movie). Parents need to learn to control their kids!

 

[XNine]

A lot of these should apply to restaurants too. There is nothing more irritating than trying to eat while little Junior in the booth next to you is throwing a fit and throwing food debris all over the place (unless the same kid is doing the same thing during a screening of your favourite movie). Parents need to learn to control their kids!

Did you know that in a lot of countries, it's more aceptable to take your dog to a restaraunt than it is your child? That goes to show ya something.

 

[clayj]

A lot of these should apply to restaurants too. There is nothing more irritating than trying to eat while little Junior in the booth next to you is throwing a fit and throwing food debris all over the place (unless the same kid is doing the same thing during a screening of your favourite movie). Parents need to learn to control their kids!

As I've said before, parents need to be parents and NOT try to be their kids' best friend. When you're a child, you SHOULD fear your parents to a certain extent. When my Dad spoke, there was no question that I would do as he asked; failure to comply was not an option, so actual punishment was very rare.

 

[puckhead193]

iGary for President!!
too true....

 

[Mitthrawnuruodo]

Nice, and very justifiable rant, iGary. A agree 100% on every point...

Gary, you're being far too polite to the offenders. I've found that a quite effective way to alter the behavior of idiots in a movie theatre is to get a VERY angry look on your face, shoot an "ahem" in their direction, and when you've got their attention, tell them VERY sternly to shut the hell up and turn that frakking/gorram* cellphone off (I don't care if they're talking on it or using it to text someone... if I'm aware of it, it's a problem) or quiet their stupid kid. This has always worked for me.

I did something similar at Star Wars III. Was sitting right in front of a gang of 13-ish year boys, who obviously had seen it before and had a (loud) contest among themselves on who could say what was going to happen next.

After a while I turned around and in a calm but very severe voice told them to shut the f*** up or get the h*** out of there. I think the kid right behind me (who actually had been one of the more active ones) actually wet himself a little. I guess a balding, overweight 35 year old in a bad mood can do that to a kid. Didn't hear a word from them the rest of the film...

Problem was there were other "gangs", some of which was out of my reach, continued their conversations after a little while, a bit quieter, but still annoying! That's the last 5PM or 7PM film I ever want to see (at least of a kind of film attracting "kids").

 

[Lord Blackadder]

I always go to the late showings to avoid that kind of crap. Even then it doesn't always work.

Once, just after graduating high school, I was on a date at the movies and there were a bunch of people in front of us who wouldn't shut up. The theater was nearly empty besides us. So my date finally loses her temper and yells at them....and they laugh, at which point she fires her cigarrette lighter into the back of the worst offender's head. The date went downhill from there.