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I'm in love!!!
- Thread starter TSE
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Ok, TSE, you're 15, you don't know who you are much less who someone else is - but you are not stupid. And don't worry about being labeled, because I assure you, you will be. (The sooner you get over that worry, the better off you are.)
It's ok to have fun with this girl. Respect her and yourself and you'll have no regrets, and you'll mature through the process.
Honestly, don't take this so seriously. After all, you're not asking her to marry you!
It's ok to have fun with this girl. Respect her and yourself and you'll have no regrets, and you'll mature through the process.
Honestly, don't take this so seriously. After all, you're not asking her to marry you!
Guys, I think I'm in love!!!!
But the problem is, it is with a girl that is 2 years younger than me and she dresses kinda emo. I never liked the emo style very much, but she is very nice! If I was to ask her out, I know a lot of my friends and kids in my grade would think I'm a freak. I haven't had a girlfriend in over 4 months.
I don't know what to do! I am 15!
Whoa there pal take it easy. I know you're still young but don't let girls get inside your head (rather, don't let them occupy your mind 24/7). Just remember your life revolves around you, not her. Good luck.
So what the hell is wrong if she wears eyeliner and dyes her hair? You said she doesn't cut herself. Do girls not wear eyeliner in your school at that age? I'm more surprised nowadays to see women not wearing eyeliner or eyeshadow of some sort (not that I think there's anything wrong with that). Kind of too bad you've already judged her based on her appearances. I agree with whoever said you don't deserve her, regardless of your age. So do you think all people that wear eyeliner and dye their hair are freaks? I really hope you grow out of that someday.
To answer your question though: yes, you should ask her out. What do you have to lose, you're only 15, enjoy it while you can. It probably won't last long anyways, not much to worry about.
To answer your question though: yes, you should ask her out. What do you have to lose, you're only 15, enjoy it while you can. It probably won't last long anyways, not much to worry about.
I'm going to be simple and agree with the general sentiment of this thread, but I have to say, this statement:
Made me laugh so hard, I was completely incapacitated for about a minute. Good stuff.
Edit: There is quite a bit of stereotyping going on in this thread. Wearing eyeliner and such doesn't make a person emo, and I think this generation would do good to remind itself what emo actually is (a subgenre of hardcore Punk from the 70's that hasn't been around for quite some time), rather than labelling every cry-baby song or teenager who wears black clothing as "emo."
Schtumple said:
Made me laugh so hard, I was completely incapacitated for about a minute. Good stuff.
Edit: There is quite a bit of stereotyping going on in this thread. Wearing eyeliner and such doesn't make a person emo, and I think this generation would do good to remind itself what emo actually is (a subgenre of hardcore Punk from the 70's that hasn't been around for quite some time), rather than labelling every cry-baby song or teenager who wears black clothing as "emo."
Guys, I think I'm in love!!!!
But the problem is, it is with a girl that is 2 years younger than me and she dresses kinda emo. I never liked the emo style very much, but she is very nice! If I was to ask her out, I know a lot of my friends and kids in my grade would think I'm a freak. I haven't had a girlfriend in over 4 months.
I don't know what to do! I am 15!
First of all, what's so sad about not having a girlfriend for 4 months? Learn to be happy alone, learn to be ok to be by yourself. Second of all, less people think about you than they do. Honestly, on a daily basis, how long do you spend thinking about everyone in your school? How much do you think about each person in your grade? Probably not much to none. Plus, if they're going to talk anyways, then give them something to talk about
. School yard gossip is by far the least harsh thing that you would have to deal with in life. Now, just ask the girl out. If she says no, too bad, if she says yes, then great. Don't get too down if she says no, trust me, you will fall in love again. Just have fun, and enjoy being young and carefree. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but those years you will never get back again.
Also, asking the girl or not, stop stereotyping people. Judging people based on their clothes/makeup is just as bad as judging people based on their race or sex. You wouldn't like being called a racist or a sexist would you? Because essentially stereotypers are the same as them.
I don't know if you personally insulted anyone by doing so, but just the act of stereotyping is very narrow minded and mean.
Btw, speaking from personal experience, girls at that age don't have a long attention span
. Don't spend too much time hesitating that you miss the moment. I always give this advice: you'll regret the things that you didn't do much more than the ones that you did.
your reading to much into this. Step back and just take a deep breath.
Maybe i was one of the lucky ones going through high school but i never got caught up in the drama of it all. You need to learn quick that it should not matter what other think of you. This is probably the most important thing you can learn right now.
About not having a girlfriend for 4 months. I don't see the big deal. I had one girlfriend going through high school and that was only when i started. And i have only had one in college. Maybe you need to just take some time to figure out how you are and what makes you you?
Maybe i was one of the lucky ones going through high school but i never got caught up in the drama of it all. You need to learn quick that it should not matter what other think of you. This is probably the most important thing you can learn right now.
About not having a girlfriend for 4 months. I don't see the big deal. I had one girlfriend going through high school and that was only when i started. And i have only had one in college. Maybe you need to just take some time to figure out how you are and what makes you you?
You actually kinda made me feel bad.
im sorry
I skipped a lot of this thread because it seems to me like some people here are forgetting you're only 15. It's allowed to be 15, you are NOT stupid.
A lot of advice you've been given would be spot-on if you were an adult. It doesn't matter that the advice is right, and that you'll learn to understand the advice in some years. The point for you right now is that you ARE 15, and we can't expect you to have the mind-set of an adult.
Your concerns are normal for your age. Practically all teenagers are worried about being labelled. What friends think is incredibly important at this age, something those of us who are older tend to underrate. I've got a 15-yr-old son, so I get a daily reminder of what it's like.
It sounds to me like you're wondering about asking someone out who appears to have a different lifestyle, and you're uncertain about how that will be received. Doesn't matter that you're so young, and the girl you're interested in is even younger - we've got to remember that your feelings are real to you, even though we know this is just the beginning of a long life of relationships.
This sort of experience is the kind of thing you'll go through now and then. The point is to learn from it. Your values are being challenged, you're wondering what stand to take, and what it says about you. Asking those of us here for opinions is (hopefully only one
) way of testing the moral waters. In the end, you have to rely on your gut.Short version: Don't feel bad about the way some of the advice here has been worded. A lot of it is good, and you'll understand it more over time. For now - good luck.
You actually kinda made me feel bad.
im sorry
Many people are overthinking it. They've probably forgotten what it's like to be a kid. Go for it, what have you got to lose (except for the crushing depression of rejection brought about by a 'no'
)?. If you don't like the way she is in the end, you can always call it quits.
You're in love with a 13 year old emo, and you're 15?
Awesome thread. But I completely agree with Mr Horses up there-
When I was 15, all of 7 years ago sure I thought I was in love a few times. And my girlfriend at the time was a major influence on my life but you grow up. We split up and it was devastating for me, but a year later I met my current girlfriend and found real love.
Who knows you 2 may last forever but I agree with some that she is too young. Just be really good friends and see if it works a couple of years down the line.
Who knows... By then you might have found someone else and all will be well with the world.
Awesome thread. But I completely agree with Mr Horses up there-
When I was 15, all of 7 years ago sure I thought I was in love a few times. And my girlfriend at the time was a major influence on my life but you grow up. We split up and it was devastating for me, but a year later I met my current girlfriend and found real love.
Who knows you 2 may last forever but I agree with some that she is too young. Just be really good friends and see if it works a couple of years down the line.
Who knows... By then you might have found someone else and all will be well with the world.
And calling her emo isn't labeling her?
He didn't say that he don't like labeling people!
I skipped a lot of this thread because it seems to me like some people here are forgetting you're only 15. It's allowed to be 15, you are NOT stupid.
A lot of advice you've been given would be spot-on if you were an adult. It doesn't matter that the advice is right, and that you'll learn to understand the advice in some years. The point for you right now is that you ARE 15, and we can't expect you to have the mind-set of an adult.
Your concerns are normal for your age. Practically all teenagers are worried about being labelled. What friends think is incredibly important at this age, something those of us who are older tend to underrate. I've got a 15-yr-old son, so I get a daily reminder of what it's like.
It sounds to me like you're wondering about asking someone out who appears to have a different lifestyle, and you're uncertain about how that will be received. Doesn't matter that you're so young, and the girl you're interested in is even younger - we've got to remember that your feelings are real to you, even though we know this is just the beginning of a long life of relationships.
Phew, a reasonable post.
People people people this kid is 15. Clearly most of the people replying to this thread have thoroughly forgotten what it's like to be 15. We all have to learn to play the game some time. If I recall when I was 13 I was asking girls out to school dances, we were telling each other we were in love a week later, making out in movie theaters and then breaking up on AIM because it "wasn't working out".
I'm pretty sure if I had come here and posted about my problems I would have wound up a bit sad and conflicted when all the bitter adults came and sh** all over my fun...
I think it all depends on what you're looking for, if you're looking for something long term, I'd say stay friends for a while and see how things go, if you're looking for short term then sure ask her out but be aware that it may only be short term.
I personally was never looking for anything short term, met my wife (the only girl I've ever dated) when I was about 15 and we stayed close friends for about 3 years, dated for about 6 months (living together almost that whole time) and then decided to get married and have been together 5 1/2 years now. Even though our dating relationship was short it was built on a great foundation of our friendship.
I realize my story or ones like it are not that common, just relaying a bit about my personal experience. I do think if things don't work out as friends then it won't work with dating and will be less emotional than losing a girlfriend. Then again this is all just my 2 cents and personal opinion so...do what you feel is best for you.
I personally was never looking for anything short term, met my wife (the only girl I've ever dated) when I was about 15 and we stayed close friends for about 3 years, dated for about 6 months (living together almost that whole time) and then decided to get married and have been together 5 1/2 years now. Even though our dating relationship was short it was built on a great foundation of our friendship.
I realize my story or ones like it are not that common, just relaying a bit about my personal experience. I do think if things don't work out as friends then it won't work with dating and will be less emotional than losing a girlfriend. Then again this is all just my 2 cents and personal opinion so...do what you feel is best for you.
Great post - seconded. I'd like to add to it, if you don't mindI skipped a lot of this thread because it seems to me like some people here are forgetting you're only 15. It's allowed to be 15, you are NOT stupid.
A lot of advice you've been given would be spot-on if you were an adult. It doesn't matter that the advice is right, and that you'll learn to understand the advice in some years. The point for you right now is that you ARE 15, and we can't expect you to have the mind-set of an adult.
Your concerns are normal for your age. Practically all teenagers are worried about being labelled. What friends think is incredibly important at this age, something those of us who are older tend to underrate. I've got a 15-yr-old son, so I get a daily reminder of what it's like.
It sounds to me like you're wondering about asking someone out who appears to have a different lifestyle, and you're uncertain about how that will be received. Doesn't matter that you're so young, and the girl you're interested in is even younger - we've got to remember that your feelings are real to you, even though we know this is just the beginning of a long life of relationships.
This sort of experience is the kind of thing you'll go through now and then. The point is to learn from it. Your values are being challenged, you're wondering what stand to take, and what it says about you. Asking those of us here for opinions is (hopefully only one
Short version: Don't feel bad about the way some of the advice here has been worded. A lot of it is good, and you'll understand it more over time. For now - good luck.
, from a different perspective perhaps.TSE, I've only scrolled through this thread and haven't read into every single detail. It's unbelievable how some people have (over)reacted to the "label" part. And, if you call it love or not, it's irrelevant. You can ask her out, sure, if she says yes, great, and if you start a relationship, you should both discuss what expectations you have from it. If it doesn't work out, fine, it happens to everyone, of all ages.
If you do get labeled for going out with her, it makes perfect sense that the people doing that are wrong. In some ways, yes, their way of judging things (labeling) may be similar to yours, but they act on their impulses and have bad intentions, while being fully aware of it. They're obviously either insecure, or just following the majority. Compared to you, they probably think their opinions matter a lot more than they should. Or they just don't care what effect their opinions might have on other people. Maybe they're blindly echoing what everyone's saying these days - emos are laaame </Cartman voice>. And that's all they are - opinions, which you probably don't even share - you don't come across that way, which is why I think some people might have overreacted in this thread. The opinions you hear from people you know don't say anything about you; determining what you are and what you like is your job, and on this subject I'd like to echo what annk said, follow your gut feeling. I mean, do you really care if she's "kinda" emo? You, personally, after having taken everyone out of the equation? Or would you agree that it's kind of unfair to judge her based on her appearance?
If you agree, just walk up to her, it's a question after all. If she says no, fine, there's a variety of reasons why she'd say no. You could always ask her why, maybe her friends think of you as the uncool type - see a trend here? See what this kind of thinking does - it creates obstacles, and you end up missing out. But don't worry, at that age, it's appropriate, as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, if she says yes, make sure you're actually honest to each other, no point in staying in a relationship if you don't actually connect. If it doesn't work out, I don't see the problem in staying friends, if it makes things less complicated.
Either way, if you're not ready, don't feel pressured. If this post added more confusion, it would probably be best to take a step back and wait it out. There's always later.
I disagree. My brother is 18 and his girlfriend is 16. They are decades apart in terms of maturity. My brother treats her like gold, she treats him like dog s**t. I guess it really depends on the people in the relationship.
By the way, if you're reading this, sorry bro.