This was hilarious to read, OP. I'm not laughing at your struggles, just in how you express them with so much passion. I have to agree about the fanboy issue. The arrogance alone is just...stunning. But fortunately, most (I hope!) Mac users are not members of the fanboy religion, and don't worship at the Apple alter. Most of us get excited for new product releases, and purchase a few here and there, budget and need permitting. No Steve Jobs worship required. LOL
I'm sorry you've run into so many issues, and hope you are able to get them resolved to your satisfaction. I haven't upgraded to Leopard yet, and likely won't for several months. I'm sure the new bells and whistles are fab, but I'll wait until they are working properly and support multiple options before taking the leap myself. My switch experience was rather smooth, but we all have different computing needs, and I can see where things can go wrong for others. It's rarely a fun experience with new OS's that are only a few months old/released. You have a lot more patience than me!
I'm still giggling about your rant, though. Honestly, there's no mystery as to why so much of Apple products are proprietary at this point. It's the same as any other business. What methods net the most profit? Microsoft's 'monopoly' has allowed them to make a lot of partnerships with 3rd party companies, and therefore has a lot fewer compatibility issues and a lot more options/choices. Hopefully, in time, Apple will be able to do this more and more, and many of these issues will disappear, and we'll all be better off. But until then, we just have to shop wisely for our specific needs. In my case, I use both platforms for different things, and am relieved to realize now just how lucky I've been to have so few issues pop up along the way. Good luck to you, sir. 🙂