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Intersexual Etiquette No.1: The Handshake

iBlue said:
eHandshakes are a rather stupid form of greeting...
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IIRC (which is unlikely), they originated as a means to verify that neither person held a weapon.

Which, I suppose, is a rather useless piece of trivia, even if true.

So, yeah, they're rather stupid. But far better than head-butting.
 
From my extensive research said:
The actual beginning of the handshake is as difficult to specifically determine as most events that happened before written history. However, there are many accounts that provide both comedy and insight. One origin offered by Herbert Spencer, in his book THE PRINCIPLES OF SOCIOLOGY, is that of two Arabs meting in a desert. They each reach for the others hand to kiss it in greeting. However, it is an insult to have your hand kissed by another individual, so both men try to withdraw from the lips of the other man. The end result of this meeting is the acceptance by both men that they wouldnt kiss the others hand, and thus they ended up only clasping the hand of the other, and the handshake was born. The mutual acceptance by the two men that the hands wouldnt be kissed shows the equality between the two individuals; however, that aspect will be discussed a little further down the page.

Perhaps a more practical origin of the handshake comes from medieval Europe, where kings and knights would extend their hands to each other, and [grasp the] others hand as a demonstration that each did not possess concealed weapons and intended no harm to the other (Hall). I say this is a more practical origin of the handshake, because it more closely resembles our current use of the handshake as a way to introduce ourselves to a person and open ourselves up to them for the purpose of interacting. Interestingly enough, the ancient Greeks used it similarly. It was a welcoming sign of friendliness, hospitality, and trust (Schriffin).
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Interesting.
 
Heb1228 said:
I agree... right off the bat you're putting something between yourself and the person you're greeting. I guess thats a good thing if the person creeps you out or smells. But the kiss on the cheek thing that other societies do seems much more personal.

Ah whatever. This is like that time you go through in life questioning why people greet you with "how are you doing?" when they don't really want an answer. Then you realize its just a customary greeting the same thing as saying hi and there's no need to think that much about it. :confused:
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I think punching someone in the gut would be a much better form of greeting. Who's with me? :D
(for those without my tweaked sense of humor, I'm kidding. or am I?)
 
iBlue said:
I think punching someone in the gut would be a much better form of greeting. Who's with me? :D
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Fine by me. You use your greeting, I'll go with the Australian one. Guess it'd make the most sense if I went first.
 
I find that judging someone by their handshake pretty much just lets you know who's thought much about what kind of impression their handshake makes.
 
It's touching a person's hand. God, this whole topic is making me feel all weird.
It's not a big deal I don't think. At all.
I couldn't care less is someone shakes my hand or not.

gekko513 said:
I find that judging someone by their handshake pretty much just lets you know who's thought much about what kind of impression their handshake makes.
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Agreed
 
Man, I can't believe the replies in this thread. Who the hell cares. Shake the hand if it's there. If you're introduced to someone else stick, out your hand, or kiss their cheek. Just do it. Germs? My god, what the hell can you get from a hand in comparison to all the recycled air that you're sucking back on filled full of everything moist and slimy that's inside that lovely derelict person beside you.
Get a grip.
Literally and figuratively

jsw said:
iBlue said:
I think punching someone in the gut would be a much better form of greeting. Who's with me?
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Fine by me. You use your greeting, I'll go with the Australian one. Guess it'd make the most sense if I went first.
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Roshambo any one?
 
iBlue said:
I think punching someone in the gut would be a much better form of greeting. Who's with me? :D
(for those without my tweaked sense of humor, I'm kidding. or am I?)
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It would make be get more serious about my ab workouts!
 
jsw said:
IIRC (which is unlikely), they originated as a means to verify that neither person held a weapon.
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That's how I learned to shake a hand: while shaking hands, take your left hand and place it under your right arm between the elbow and the armpit, with the back of the hand on the arm. It's a simple matter of showing that you don't have anything hidden, since your palm will be facing away from your arm and the person should be able to see your fingers on the other side.

I generally don't shake hands with women unless they extend first, but sometimes I feel as if women are expecting me to put out my hand, and that gets a bit odd.

As for touching people...I've just come to accept the fact that that person may have done something fairly dirty with their hand, but would have enough respect not to shake my hand in that case.
-Chasen
 
what's the point of this thread? We're not in Victorian England anymore and memorizing these social conventions will not get you a girlfriend alone. If anything, standing out and doing the unconventional will get you noticed. Instead of shaking hands, go in for a high five. Add that to a fun-loving personality and lots of teasing and you may get somewhere.
 
You guys think too much.

I like to give "gangsta" style handshakes to my foriegn co-workers. They think it's great, but totally miss the point or the humour. :confused: :D
 
topicolo said:
what's the point of this thread? We're not in Victorian England anymore and memorizing these social conventions will not get you a girlfriend alone. If anything, standing out and doing the unconventional will get you noticed. Instead of shaking hands, go in for a high five. Add that to a fun-loving personality and lots of teasing and you may get somewhere.
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"do not disturb, handshake etiquette experiment in progress" :D

thread evolution, that's my guess on this thread's survival.
 
I greet men with a handshake and women with a deep, passionate, soft lingering kiss. Haven't heard any of them complain yet - the guys they're with however....they do plenty of complaining....
 
Salasm said:
It's considered poor manners for a bloke to extend a hand to a woman, unless she extends first. Your thoughts?
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Open-hand or clenched-fist? If she extends first then I'd go in heavy in self defence a lot of wimmin are packing claws now-a-days.
 
OK, so say I meet 4 men and 1 woman at the door.

If I reach out to shake her hand without invitation, I look rude. But if I shake all the men's hands and hesitate in shaking hers (waiting to see if she'll go first) I look rude and sexist. :eek:

I think I'll just continue shaking everyone's hand as normal... :rolleyes:
 
Salasm said:
It's considered poor manners for a bloke to extend a hand to a woman, unless she extends first. Your thoughts?
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Are we talking about western women or women in general?
In some cultures, it is highly impropriate to greet a women. It would be viewed as a Crocodile Dundee "handshake" would be seen here. :D
In other cultures, it would be equally offending (like in Sweden, where I live) not to greet a woman with a handshake. IMO the greeting customs in a culture are a good sign how far womens liberation has progressed.
 
HOMOshakepic_01.gif
 
Oops

I got really excited when I saw this thread but then realized what was meant by intersexual. Oops. :rolleyes:
 
And regardless of gender, the bone-crushing, raw-knuckle, vise-tight clench is not apreciated by most people.

Why some see it as an appropriate manner in which to greet people is entirely beyond me.
 
Blue Velvet said:
And regardless of gender, the bone-crushing, raw-knuckle, vise-tight clench is not apreciated by most people.

Why some see it as an appropriate manner in which to greet people is entirely beyond me.
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I believe it is a expression insecurity (predominantly male). :D
A "neaderthal" manner to portray yourself as strong/vital... blah blah
We are probably more primitive than we care to admit.
 
Withing seconds of meeting my brother's girlfriend for the first time she leant forward with an outsretched hand ready for a shake and followed it up with an insistant peck on each cheek on my jaw*. It was an awkward, presumptive and rather forward social act that could have been forgiven .... had she not spent much of the afternoon with her bare feet on our sofa !!!:eek:

Honestly, the standards these days in the young folk.!;)



[ * I felt the need to verify exactly which pair of cheeks she intended pecking to avoid any ensuing innuendic diversions in this thread]:)
 
On a similar note regarding handshaking and/or kiss when greeting etc. what is the most polite way to decline a handshake when offered?
 
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