^^ Not that the above arguments with said spouse can ever be won, but try pointing out to her that the amount of money she spends on hair appointments in just a few months would probably cover the cost of an iPad. If that doesn't work, then total up all the miscellaneous receipts that come from places like Walgreens, CVS, etc. If that doesn't work, remind her that you spent tons of money on her when you were dating ... money that she didn't have to spend on herself. When all that doesn't work, continue playing with your iPhone, as you sleep on the sofa.