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iPad 2: Wife Says No, but Apple Says Yes

gkarris said:
Here we go with the "You said this, so you must be this..." stereotype... :rolleyes:

I know guys where even though they are the "bread winner" or contribute greatly to the funds, they have to approve EVERYTHING through the Wife - whereas the Wife can spend as she pleases....

Happy Wife, Happy Life... :eek:

Not into that type of relationship.
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pmz said:
That "type" of relationship? You mean that exact description. Because either A) you're not married, or B) have a very similar scenario with only slight difference. The differences being where you pass judgement, but remain altogether similar.
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Wow - it just keeps going, and going.... :eek:

:rolleyes:
 
Aeolius said:
The next time she sends him out to buy pads, I'll bet she's more specific...
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Epic :D

Anyways, I'm glad to be gay - some heterosexual couples I know seem to be living in a d/s relationship, not quite the kind of thing I'm interested in.

Oh, and of course it's a nice move by Apple :p
 
Slurpy2k8 said:
Your wife said 'no'?

You know, this is a question that I've been wanting to ask for a long time, and this is not directed only at you, but to all responses similar to yours I've seen on such topics. It's an honest question I have, because it just blows my mind:

What the hell kind of relationship do you people have with your spouses?? I mean, seriously??! You need their explicit PERMISSION to buy something you want, with your money, and it gets to their point of people BEGGING their wives to let them buy something, only to be turned down?! How the hell do you get yourself into this kind of dynamic? The only plausible reason that a wife may be against it is if you guys are so short on cash, that $500 will break the account and drive you into poverty? And if this is the case, then you people should have a bit more responsibility than to beg your wives to let you buy something that you clearly can't afford. If you CAN afford it, and it is your $$, then why the hell do you even need to ask your wife in the 1st place, and what right does she have to refuse you? Do your wives make all the money? An iPad isn't a car or a house that needs to be a consensual and debated purchase. Your wife shouldn't have the ability (nor the desire) to stop you from buying one.

This is honestly something that Id like an answer to. Some of you seem to have a 'child/parent' relationship, instead of husband/wife. If she's the breadwinner of the house, and you mooch of her, fine I'd understand. But if you bring in the $$? Sounds like a disturbing and cold relationship. Why does she get to dominate you and dictate your decisions, void of any debate or discussion?
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The basis for any good relationship is communication. And I am not sure what kind of money you make, but $500 is a pretty big wad of cash to throw down and it should merit a conversation with your spouse. Its not like you threw down a $1 on a cheeseburger, or $2 on a scratch off, or heck $20 of beer. You spent $500, thats like a whole months utilities. Thats a car payment. Thats a few hours of tuition for your kid's college one day. Its no chump change.

And household income should be considered just that, household. It does not matter who makes more money, it should be community, and if you're spending $500 on an iPad, then you're lady should be able to spend $500 on a coach purse. How would you feel about that?

Non-necessities, expensive purchases should always be discussed. There is a need for open, honest communication in a marriage. If you don't have that, and you are running around buying ipads without consulting them, well unless you got a fad wad of cash, you likely wont stay married long.

Its about respect. If you don't respect your wife enough to discuss a $500 purchase with her, then you don't deserve to have the companionship of a female.
 
TheNerdyNurse said:
The basis for any good relationship is communication. And I am not sure what kind of money you make, but $500 is a pretty big wad of cash to throw down and it should merit a conversation with your spouse. Its not like you threw down a $1 on a cheeseburger, or $2 on a scratch off, or heck $20 of beer. You spent $500, thats like a whole months utilities. Thats a car payment. Thats a few hours of tuition for your kid's college one day. Its no chump change.

And household income should be considered just that, household. It does not matter who makes more money, it should be community, and if you're spending $500 on an iPad, then you're lady should be able to spend $500 on a coach purse. How would you feel about that?

Non-necessities, expensive purchases should always be discussed. There is a need for open, honest communication in a marriage. If you don't have that, and you are running around buying ipads without consulting them, well unless you got a fad wad of cash, you likely wont stay married long.

Its about respect. If you don't respect your wife enough to discuss a $500 purchase with her, then you don't deserve to have the companionship of a female.
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I didn't read much of this whole thread, but this lady right here makes sense. Then again, I hope this idea of being able to buy a coach if the man buys an ipad works both ways.
 
TheNerdyNurse said:
The basis for any good relationship is communication. And I am not sure what kind of money you make, but $500 is a pretty big wad of cash to throw down and it should merit a conversation with your spouse. Its not like you threw down a $1 on a cheeseburger, or $2 on a scratch off, or heck $20 of beer. You spent $500, thats like a whole months utilities. Thats a car payment. Thats a few hours of tuition for your kid's college one day. Its no chump change.

And household income should be considered just that, household. It does not matter who makes more money, it should be community, and if you're spending $500 on an iPad, then you're lady should be able to spend $500 on a coach purse. How would you feel about that?

Non-necessities, expensive purchases should always be discussed. There is a need for open, honest communication in a marriage. If you don't have that, and you are running around buying ipads without consulting them, well unless you got a fad wad of cash, you likely wont stay married long.

Its about respect. If you don't respect your wife enough to discuss a $500 purchase with her, then you don't deserve to have the companionship of a female.
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Eh, you misunderstood me. The main point I was making is that the wife should not be able to prevent such a purchase IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. In many cases, money itself is not an issue in such a purchase, as the wife would not blink twice in spending that amount on something SHE wants. My point was that sometimes they refuse things simply because they dont see it benefitting THEM- and that is something selfish, and shows a lack of respect. Of course if the guy is blowing $$ on an iPad when they're having trouble putting food on the table, thats an issue. My post wasnt centered on these cases. It made the assumption that it could comfortably be afforded, but which the wife doesnt see the value in it for herself, which is the sole reason of the refusal or the demand that it be returned. And Ive seen this on many, many occasions. I know this guy that brings in 6 figures a yr, yes his wife (who brings in nothing) controls the bank account. The guy has no balls, his wife dictates the purchases, buys whatever the hell she pleases, and gets upset when he spends on anything without consulting her. She doesnt let him buy **** he wants, the cost of which is a drop in the bucket compared to the income he makes, simply because SHE doesnt see the value in it. But like I said, the guy has no balls and takes it, while she spends thousands on shoes, etc without needing to consult him.But hey, some people love that ****. Sometimes you need to do things that give you individual pleasure in a marriage, not always 'pleasure as a unit'.
 
Slurpy2k8 said:
Eh, you misunderstood me. The main point I was making is that the wife should not be able to prevent such a purchase IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. In many cases, money itself is not an issue in such a purchase, as the wife would not blink twice in spending that amount on something SHE wants. My point was that sometimes they refuse things simply because they dont see it benefitting THEM- and that is something selfish, and shows a lack of respect. Of course if the guy is blowing $$ on an iPad when they're having trouble putting food on the table, thats an issue. My post wasnt centered on these cases. It made the assumption that it could comfortably be afforded, but which the wife doesnt see the value in it for herself, which is the sole reason of the refusal or the demand that it be returned. And Ive seen this on many, many occasions. I know this guy that brings in 6 figures a yr, yes his wife (who brings in nothing) controls the bank account. The guy has no balls, his wife dictates the purchases, buys whatever the hell she pleases, and gets upset when he spends on anything without consulting her. She doesnt let him buy **** he wants, the cost of which is a drop in the bucket compared to the income he makes, simply because SHE doesnt see the value in it. But like I said, the guy has no balls and takes it, while she spends thousands on shoes, etc without needing to consult him.But hey, some people love that ****. Sometimes you need to do things that give you individual pleasure in a marriage, not always 'pleasure as a unit'.
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The things you mention here are exactly the things i've seen too. To be honest, it frustrates me to see men behave like that. They should send those guys to boot cam, to let them get back some of their balls.

Men who are in control of women just don't have balls. I think things are going the opposite way. Like women are in revenge for the years they've been in control of men. ANYTHING against women has become social unacceptable, but i think things are going a bit too far now. But hmm, it's probably just a 'trend'...:)
 
My father was a hard working man but he could never think past instant gratification. He could never save money. He did however know his faults and married a woman who knew how to save and knew how to plan for the big picture. When they married he was in debt and in the army. She was at home working to feed their two kids. When he got back they came into a little money, he wanted a new car, she said no. The money was used as part of a down-payment on a house. Fast forward, now there are six grown kids and a house all paid for. Thank god dad had the smarts to let my mother control the family money. Marrige is a partnership. If you are lucky the combination is greater because both give different but equally important gifts to the mix. Many people can not exist in a partnership, some people do better alone, all relationships are different and what works for one may not work for another.
 
NickvdB said:
The things you mention here are exactly the things i've seen too. To be honest, it frustrates me to see men behave like that. They should send those guys to boot cam, to let them get back some of their balls.

Men who are in control of women just don't have balls. I think things are going the opposite way. Like women are in revenge for the years they've been in control of men. ANYTHING against women has become social unacceptable, but i think things are going a bit too far now. But hmm, it's probably just a 'trend'...:)
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Yeah I agree... both parties should be able to buy things that they WANT, like if she can buy Louis Vutton bags for herself, (just an example) which doesn't benefit the man, he should be able to buy his MacBook Pro or iPad 2 or whatever HE WANTS as well...which doesn't benefit her directly either...

Fair is Fair right.. this being nice to women thing in our society is going WAY to far...
 
zorinlynx said:
I think this attitude comes from backlash due to the fact that historically, men have been "king of the castle" and women have been subjugated. It's almost as if people are trying to make up for that.

This is silly; relationships should be on equal grounds. And EVERYONE should be able to do something awesome for themselves now and then, whether it be an iPad, a nice meal out, and so on.
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That's not our fault that men of the past were like that, why should men of today pay for the mistakes of yesteryears?
 
Maybe, but then again .....

While for me, $500 is a "pretty big wad of cash to throw down", there's more to it than strictly looking at the dollar figure. EG. Do you have a kid or kids that might benefit from being able to use the new iPad you're about to purchase? Do you have legitimate uses for it that go along with EARNING more money, or maybe even the ability to write the whole purchase off as a tax deduction the next year? When you spend $20 on some beer or a few bucks on some food, it's a consumable you use once and throw some trash away, and then you have nothing to show for it.

One thing I know about myself is, I'm very hesitant to spend much on "instant gratification" type of entertainment. I practically never spend money on tickets for sporting events or concerts, and maybe buy a movie ticket once a year. I've often skipped summer vacations completely because my employer didn't want me to take time off when they had important projects going on, and I just opted to get paid for the days instead. I don't even have cable or satellite TV at home, because I hated watching $60 or more per month just vanish into thin air, with nothing concrete to show for it later. So when I do spend my money? It tends to be on bigger-ticket items I know I'll get a lot of use out of for years down the road.

So frankly, in my relationships, "respect" is just as much about my partner respecting my ability to make sensible purchasing decisions and NOT demand I consult with her first, simply because it's something a lot more expensive than a fast food order.


TheNerdyNurse said:
The basis for any good relationship is communication. And I am not sure what kind of money you make, but $500 is a pretty big wad of cash to throw down and it should merit a conversation with your spouse. Its not like you threw down a $1 on a cheeseburger, or $2 on a scratch off, or heck $20 of beer. You spent $500, thats like a whole months utilities. Thats a car payment. Thats a few hours of tuition for your kid's college one day. Its no chump change.

And household income should be considered just that, household. It does not matter who makes more money, it should be community, and if you're spending $500 on an iPad, then you're lady should be able to spend $500 on a coach purse. How would you feel about that?

Non-necessities, expensive purchases should always be discussed. There is a need for open, honest communication in a marriage. If you don't have that, and you are running around buying ipads without consulting them, well unless you got a fad wad of cash, you likely wont stay married long.

Its about respect. If you don't respect your wife enough to discuss a $500 purchase with her, then you don't deserve to have the companionship of a female.
Click to expand...
 
Slurpy2k8 said:
Eh, you misunderstood me. The main point I was making is that the wife should not be able to prevent such a purchase IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. In many cases, money itself is not an issue in such a purchase, as the wife would not blink twice in spending that amount on something SHE wants. My point was that sometimes they refuse things simply because they dont see it benefitting THEM- and that is something selfish, and shows a lack of respect. Of course if the guy is blowing $$ on an iPad when they're having trouble putting food on the table, thats an issue. My post wasnt centered on these cases. It made the assumption that it could comfortably be afforded, but which the wife doesnt see the value in it for herself, which is the sole reason of the refusal or the demand that it be returned. And Ive seen this on many, many occasions. I know this guy that brings in 6 figures a yr, yes his wife (who brings in nothing) controls the bank account. The guy has no balls, his wife dictates the purchases, buys whatever the hell she pleases, and gets upset when he spends on anything without consulting her. She doesnt let him buy **** he wants, the cost of which is a drop in the bucket compared to the income he makes, simply because SHE doesnt see the value in it. But like I said, the guy has no balls and takes it, while she spends thousands on shoes, etc without needing to consult him.But hey, some people love that ****. Sometimes you need to do things that give you individual pleasure in a marriage, not always 'pleasure as a unit'.
Click to expand...

Just don't forget that the concept of selfishness goes both ways.

Its not always the wife is trying to be controlling and wants things only for herself. Its often that the wife is trying to plan for a furture, as someone else mentioned. I just think that is should be a give and take, and honestly, if my husband came home after spending $500 on anything, without consulting me, I'd be fairly upset. Unless he spent like $500 on a suitcase that had $100k in it... well I think i'd get over it. But now, that ain't never happening.

Its not about asking permission, it is about making decisions together that effect your overall well being. $500 is alot of money to alot of people. And if $500 isn't alot, then no, you wouldn't have to ask. But just because you can still put food on the table, even if you buy that ipad, that is still not a good reason to not discuss the purchase with your significant other. It may not be taking food out of your mouth today, but it could be used for something more productive in the future. Your wife/husband may already be thinking along those lines... which is why you should discuss a $500 purchase with them.

But this is just my humble opinion. Not saying it is appropriate for everyone, but this is the respect I think I deserve in my marriage.

And just for further insight, I am the sole breadwinner in my house, and it still took me 4 months, multiple discussions with my husband (in which he always encouraged me to buy it), and the ability to justify it as a learning tool for my son in order to buy my iPad... and food stayed on my table the whole time.

:)
 
kingtj said:
While for me, $500 is a "pretty big wad of cash to throw down", there's more to it than strictly looking at the dollar figure. EG. Do you have a kid or kids that might benefit from being able to use the new iPad you're about to purchase? Do you have legitimate uses for it that go along with EARNING more money, or maybe even the ability to write the whole purchase off as a tax deduction the next year? When you spend $20 on some beer or a few bucks on some food, it's a consumable you use once and throw some trash away, and then you have nothing to show for it.

One thing I know about myself is, I'm very hesitant to spend much on "instant gratification" type of entertainment. I practically never spend money on tickets for sporting events or concerts, and maybe buy a movie ticket once a year. I've often skipped summer vacations completely because my employer didn't want me to take time off when they had important projects going on, and I just opted to get paid for the days instead. I don't even have cable or satellite TV at home, because I hated watching $60 or more per month just vanish into thin air, with nothing concrete to show for it later. So when I do spend my money? It tends to be on bigger-ticket items I know I'll get a lot of use out of for years down the road.

So frankly, in my relationships, "respect" is just as much about my partner respecting my ability to make sensible purchasing decisions and NOT demand I consult with her first, simply because it's something a lot more expensive than a fast food order.
Click to expand...

Great post, completely agree, and am also inline with your mentality about spending money. The same people who ask me why the hell I would spent $1700 on a laptop when I can get one for $700 (I have a Macbook Pro, which I use several hours EVERY SINGLE DAY, will last years, and which I work and make money from) are the same people who would spend that difference in a month on stupid ****, eating out, and alcohol, with nothing to show for it. I have no problem spending more on long term purchases to get a better product, or something I'm passionate about which will bring me pleasure for a long time.
 
1. This is kind of scary - it's like Apple is saying whatever you decide you WILL get our products.

2. Also, wife may have been pissed.

3. Is true?

But I like the headline!
 
Very poor customer service

My new iPad was at the local FedEx distribution center, 2 miles from my house, only to be returned to Apple at Apples request. I provided them with my UPS Store PMB (Private Mail Box) number because I was out of town when it arrived. Someone had to sign. I couldn't leave it on my porch. I don't know my neighbors well enough. The folks at the UPS store could sign, right? Wrong. Because UPS has the ability to ship overseas, Apple refused to deliver.

I travel for my job. My wife does, as well. Apple's Shipping Restrictions web page states they will not ship to PO Boxes and APO's. No mention of PMB's.

So 21 days after announcement, my iPad was 2 miles from my hands. It's gone.

Apple said Sorry, you'll have to reorder. It's only another 5 weeks before I can get one. They would not expedite a new order. They would not hold the iPad at the FedEx distribution center. Too bad for me. I'm fuming. I'm pissed.

I reordered from AT&T. Wait time 25 business days. I won't give Apple all the profit they would have enjoyed. I know. Big deal. I'm not a profiteer. Not trying to subvert their ordering system. Too bad. I'm screwed.

I understand why they refused to deliver. But, no phone call, no alternative delivery option, no expedited order, no option.

Bad customer service. I've spent $6,000 with them over the last three years. So what? Who cares.
 
navpro said:
My new iPad was at the local FedEx distribution center, 2 miles from my house, only to be returned to Apple at Apples request. I provided them with my UPS Store PMB (Private Mail Box) number because I was out of town when it arrived. Someone had to sign. I couldn't leave it on my porch. I don't know my neighbors well enough. The folks at the UPS store could sign, right? Wrong. Because UPS has the ability to ship overseas, Apple refused to deliver.

I travel for my job. My wife does, as well. Apple's Shipping Restrictions web page states they will not ship to PO Boxes and APO's. No mention of PMB's.

So 21 days after announcement, my iPad was 2 miles from my hands. It's gone.

Apple said Sorry, you'll have to reorder. It's only another 5 weeks before I can get one. They would not expedite a new order. They would not hold the iPad at the FedEx distribution center. Too bad for me. I'm fuming. I'm pissed.

I reordered from AT&T. Wait time 25 business days. I won't give Apple all the profit they would have enjoyed. I know. Big deal. I'm not a profiteer. Not trying to subvert their ordering system. Too bad. I'm screwed.

I understand why they refused to deliver. But, no phone call, no alternative delivery option, no expedited order, no option.

Bad customer service. I've spent $6,000 with them over the last three years. So what? Who cares.
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How bout the new Galaxy Tab 10.1? I don't own a tablet yet, and am leaning strongly in that direction. iPad had the market cornered for a while, but now there are real competitively spec'd and competitively priced Android tablets coming to market...
 
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