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iPad 2: Wife Says No, but Apple Says Yes

Slurpy2k8 said:
Your wife said 'no'?

You know, this is a question that I've been wanting to ask for a long time, and this is not directed only at you, but to all responses similar to yours I've seen on such topics. It's an honest question I have, because it just blows my mind:

[...]

This is honestly something that Id like an answer to. Some of you seem to have a 'child/parent' relationship, instead of husband/wife. If she's the breadwinner of the house, and you mooch of her, fine I'd understand. But if you bring in the $$? Sounds like a disturbing and cold relationship. Why does she get to dominate you and dictate your decisions, void of any debate or discussion?
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If you have shared responsibilities e.g. to send the kids to school (not realy cheap where I am), which takes a consierablen slap out of the salary, certain purchases might not be considered really important/essential for the family's well-being by the significant other (compared to lets sayspending the money for new clothes for the kid or a family trip). I still do it but tell her after the fact with a good justification (if possible). Works most of the time (and I am screwed if it doesn't).

I take it you are not married or in a serious long term relationship...?
 
gri said:
If you have shared responsibilities e.g. to send the kids to school (not realy cheap where I am), which takes a consierablen slap out of the salary, certain purchases might not be considered really important/essential for the family's well-being by the significant other (compared to lets sayspending the money for new clothes for the kid or a family trip). I still do it but tell her after the fact with a good justification (if possible). Works most of the time (and I am screwed if it doesn't).

I take it you are not married or in a serious long term relationship...?
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Here we go with the "You said this, so you must be this..." stereotype... :rolleyes:

I know guys where even though they are the "bread winner" or contribute greatly to the funds, they have to approve EVERYTHING through the Wife - whereas the Wife can spend as she pleases....

Happy Wife, Happy Life... :eek:

Not into that type of relationship.
 
Slurpy2k8 said:
What the hell kind of relationship do you people have with your spouses?? I mean, seriously??! You need their explicit PERMISSION to buy something you want, with your money, and it gets to their point of people BEGGING their wives to let them buy something, only to be turned down?!
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Welcome to the state of marriage these days. Thanks to the laws, they can usually take at least half, and maybe more in divorce... Is an iPad 2 going to directly cause that? Doubtful, but it could be one more straw so to speak...
 
gkarris said:
Here we go with the "You said this, so you must be this..." stereotype... :rolleyes:

I know guys where even though they are the "bread winner" or contribute greatly to the funds, they have to approve EVERYTHING through the Wife - whereas the Wife can spend as she pleases....

Happy Wife, Happy Life... :eek:

Not into that type of relationship.
Click to expand...

Yeah, not really into that mentality either. As for the previous 2 posters. thanks for the response, but it wasn't necessary to patronize me as if I don't know what a serious relationship entails, and make assumptions. You didn't really provide any further insight, besides 'I need to keep the peace'. I stated in my post, the only issue should be about money. If you can't afford it, you certainly shouldn't even ask your wife permission to buy it, its just irresponsible and childish. If you can afford it, the wife shouldn't be able to stop you 'just because'. Does she run her purchases by you? Doubtful. Not every ****ing thing needs to be a joint decision where 'approval' is required. In many relationships, what would happen if the husband refused to give permission to the wife to buy something she wants (ie. an overpriced piece of fabric or shiny rock)? He would be seen as cheap, assholish, rules with an 'iron fist', controlling, a bad husband, etc etc. It basically wouldn't stand. But the wife can have veto for purchasing decisions as she pleases, even though the guy brings home most or all of the income? That's called unreasonable, so **** that ****. But nice to know you're all cool with it. I guess they have the power to refuse sex, which leverage.
 
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Slurpy2k8 said:
Yeah, not really into that mentality either. As for the previous 2 posters. thanks for the response, but it wasn't necessary to patronize me as if I don't know what a serious relationship entails, and make assumptions. You didn't really provide any further insight, besides 'I need to keep the peace'. I stated in my post, the only issue should be about money. If you can't afford it, you certainly shouldn't even ask your wife permission to buy it, its just irresponsible and childish. If you can afford it, the wife shouldn't be able to stop you 'just because'. Does she run her purchases by you? Doubtful. Not every ****ing thing needs to be a joint decision where 'approval' is required. In many relationships, what would happen if the husband refused to give permission to the wife to buy something she wants? He would be seen as cheap, assholish, rules with an 'iron fist', controlling, a bad husband, etc etc. It wouldn't stand. But the wife can have veto for purchasing decisions as she pleases, even though the guy brings home most or all of the income? That's called unreasonable, so **** that ****.
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I think this attitude comes from backlash due to the fact that historically, men have been "king of the castle" and women have been subjugated. It's almost as if people are trying to make up for that.

This is silly; relationships should be on equal grounds. And EVERYONE should be able to do something awesome for themselves now and then, whether it be an iPad, a nice meal out, and so on.
 
Sorry, but I don't really agree ....

I'm not saying your "scenarios" below aren't possible ones, but I really believe part of this comes down to people needing to be more selective who they choose to spend the rest of their lives with.

I bought a house, got married, we had a kid, and then got divorced, so I'm not saying I'm perfect ... but I am saying I made some mistakes and learned a lot from them.

Other than the very first job I ever had (telemarketing for a carpet cleaning place), I've always worked in computers and I.T. It's not only my sole source of income, but also a passionate hobby interest outside of work. Knowing this, I finally concluded that it's just plain foolish for me to try to have a serious relationship with any woman who doesn't "get" the whole technology thing, or thinks it's a "big waste of money". And you know what? That rules out a whole LOT of women out there, who can easily rationalize away their "need" for multi-hundred dollar new dresses or pairs of shoes, but just can't see why you could possibly need a new hard drive when "you already bought one of those things just a few years ago!".

Everyone wants different things out of their relationships ... but I'm just speaking for myself here. Some guys really don't CARE how the money they earn gets spent, as long as they've got a roof over their head, food on the table, and a wife and kids to come home to. Others have to be in control of every penny spent. Still others WANT to have to ask their wife for permission all the time, because they feel they're bad at managing money and would rather leave it up to her to do it all for them.

Right now, I'm about to get married to a terrific woman who works in I.T. like I do, and shares a lot of the same values and interests I have. Neither of us makes the kind of income we'd like to make and with 3 kids between us? Things can get pretty tough at times. But I think both of us share the idea that "If you earn the money yourself, you get to spend it on whatever you want. I don't care or need to know, as long as we've both done our share to cover the essentials first."


shervieux said:
Obivously:

1. You are not married.
2. You don't understand wives.

-or -

1. You and your wife must fight a lot and you just do it anyway.
2. You rule your house with an iron hammer

-or -

1. You have a relationship where you guys have enough money that neither one of you have to worry about negotiating purchases.
2. Your wife gets whatever, whenever she wants.
3. You only make one purchase for yourself ever 2-3 years.

Trust me in a marraige, it is never as easy as "I am going to buy this." Sometimes to keep the peace, you just gotta say "yep" and do what she wants.

'nuff said

Get married, and own a home or have a kid or two you would will figure it out.
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jacollins said:
Welcome to the state of marriage these days. Thanks to the laws, they can usually take at least half, and maybe more in divorce... Is an iPad 2 going to directly cause that? Doubtful, but it could be one more straw so to speak...
Click to expand...

I was there with the iPhone 3G. I was sick and tired of the crappy phone I had and the crappy relationship I had with my wife. I said, "F it!" and purchased the iPhone3G. She bitched and complained. I handed her divorce papers and said I wasn't going to take her crap anymore.

Fast forward a few years; we are still together, never divorced and things have never been happier. It was a big wakeup call for her.

If I truly wanted / needed and iPad, I'd have one. But as it is, I can't justify it to myself; I always have my laptop with me, so why do I need the iPad?
 
I find it very disturbing that an adult man would have to ask his wife for permission to buy an iPad, much less return one because she said "No."

WTF? Thank god I'm gay!
 
cole.markham said:
I'll wager that Apple didn't use Comic Sans :eek: in their reply note.
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I always interpreted it as a handwritten note. I guess we won't know unless the guy post a photo of the actual note (if it in fact exists)...

ILikeTurtles said:
I find it very disturbing that an adult man would have to ask his wife for permission to buy an iPad, much less return one because she said "No."
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C'mon. Has nobody ever done something, only to have someone close to them (like a spouse, a sibling, a friend, ...) call them out on it to say "Hey, you know, given your current situation, maybe that wasn't a wise move"? Has nobody ever taken such advice, thought on it, then concluded "You know what, my friend is right"? Or is everyone truly hung up on this attitude of "I'M the only one who knows what's best for me, so stay outta my face"?
 
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Slurpy2k8 said:
What the hell kind of relationship do you people have with your spouses?? I mean, seriously??! You need their explicit PERMISSION to buy something you want, with your money, and it gets to their point of people BEGGING their wives to let them buy something, only to be turned down?!
Click to expand...
In red is your problem. In marriage you're a unit; there is no "your" money or "my" money.. it's "our" money. If there are things more important to the unit than an iPad (I can think of many, many possibilities), then you're contorting the wife's stance unfairly.

And, just for the record, for the women/wife bashing that's happened in the thread I'd like to point out that it can go both ways. I'm a wife and we were standing in line on launch day for ME.. my husband would never have blessed the purchase if it came from joint funds. This is the beauty of separate "fun" accounts. An allowance per se for each of us, free from the negotiations that happen from joint accounts (and to anyone that argues that it's ridiculous that big purchases from joint money have to be discussed is going to be in for a rude awakening come marriage, IMO). More couples should have 'em.
 
kingtj said:
I'm not saying your "scenarios" below aren't possible ones, but I really believe part of this comes down to people needing to be more selective who they choose to spend the rest of their lives with.

I bought a house, got married, we had a kid, and then got divorced, so I'm not saying I'm perfect ... but I am saying I made some mistakes and learned a lot from them.

Other than the very first job I ever had (telemarketing for a carpet cleaning place), I've always worked in computers and I.T. It's not only my sole source of income, but also a passionate hobby interest outside of work. Knowing this, I finally concluded that it's just plain foolish for me to try to have a serious relationship with any woman who doesn't "get" the whole technology thing, or thinks it's a "big waste of money". And you know what? That rules out a whole LOT of women out there, who can easily rationalize away their "need" for multi-hundred dollar new dresses or pairs of shoes, but just can't see why you could possibly need a new hard drive when "you already bought one of those things just a few years ago!".

Everyone wants different things out of their relationships ... but I'm just speaking for myself here. Some guys really don't CARE how the money they earn gets spent, as long as they've got a roof over their head, food on the table, and a wife and kids to come home to. Others have to be in control of every penny spent. Still others WANT to have to ask their wife for permission all the time, because they feel they're bad at managing money and would rather leave it up to her to do it all for them.

Right now, I'm about to get married to a terrific woman who works in I.T. like I do, and shares a lot of the same values and interests I have. Neither of us makes the kind of income we'd like to make and with 3 kids between us? Things can get pretty tough at times. But I think both of us share the idea that "If you earn the money yourself, you get to spend it on whatever you want. I don't care or need to know, as long as we've both done our share to cover the essentials first."
Click to expand...

Cute story, but it has nothing to do with the situation. Also, you've pointed out that he (who you quoted) was right in his analysis that the factor here was: you earn more than enough money to afford the purchase, therefor, no issue.

iPads are far from "needs", and some people shouldn't be buying them, even though they may want them.

But, some people make stupid decisions, and sometimes the wives of stupid people have to be the one to say, "stupid move, now bring it back"
 
gkarris said:
Here we go with the "You said this, so you must be this..." stereotype... :rolleyes:

I know guys where even though they are the "bread winner" or contribute greatly to the funds, they have to approve EVERYTHING through the Wife - whereas the Wife can spend as she pleases....

Happy Wife, Happy Life... :eek:

Not into that type of relationship.
Click to expand...

That "type" of relationship? You mean that exact description. Because either A) you're not married, or B) have a very similar scenario with only slight difference. The differences being where you pass judgement, but remain altogether similar.
 
Un-real. This guy got ahead of all those online orders that are shipping on April 25, and ahead of all those long lines ????
 
Slurpy2k8 said:
Yeah, not really into that mentality either. As for the previous 2 posters. thanks for the response, but it wasn't necessary to patronize me as if I don't know what a serious relationship entails, and make assumptions. You didn't really provide any further insight, besides 'I need to keep the peace'. I stated in my post, the only issue should be about money. If you can't afford it, you certainly shouldn't even ask your wife permission to buy it, its just irresponsible and childish. If you can afford it, the wife shouldn't be able to stop you 'just because'. Does she run her purchases by you? Doubtful. Not every ****ing thing needs to be a joint decision where 'approval' is required. In many relationships, what would happen if the husband refused to give permission to the wife to buy something she wants (ie. an overpriced piece of fabric or shiny rock)? He would be seen as cheap, assholish, rules with an 'iron fist', controlling, a bad husband, etc etc. It basically wouldn't stand. But the wife can have veto for purchasing decisions as she pleases, even though the guy brings home most or all of the income? That's called unreasonable, so **** that ****. But nice to know you're all cool with it. I guess they have the power to refuse sex, which leverage.
Click to expand...

I TOTALLY agree with you!! I find it sad and disturbing at the same time. I can't even imagine that my girlfriend would actually tell me that i can't buy the ipad. Unless, of course, she has a good reason for it. I would find it normal when she tells me that it's, due to financial reasons, better not to buy the ipad, as a woman certainly should take responsibility over the household. If she doesn't have a good reason: I think it's really shameful for a woman to have the rudeness to tell a man what he HAS to do and what not. Why? Because they are the ones who have been complaining for years about men's domination and striving after equality. Is this equality?

In those relationships either two things are going on: 1. You picked the wrong wife. 2. you SOMEHOW must have lost your masculinity on the way of marrying a woman.

Oh, and just to prevent people from judging me: I'm not the kind of man who 'rules with iron fist'. I just find it shameful that nowadays men seem to be in control of women. Don't you guys think this is ridiculous?! It indeed strikes me that, like Slurpy2k8 said, men would be seen as assholish and cheap whenever they refuse to do something for a women. Things i've been seeing lately are definitely NOT about equality.

For the men who are in total ridiculous control of women: Please, get back at least some of your masculinity...
 
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Bwinski said:
At least he GOT one..!!!

The rest of us that ORDERED ONE on the FIRST MORNING, still have to wait three frigging weeks !!!

NOT funny...
Click to expand...

Well, if it's any help- we ordered first thing in the AM EST and the two I ordered came yesterday, along with the covers that we expected would come in advance- and all ended up here a day earlier than promised by FEDEX. :) Good luck :)
 
BigDukeSix said:
I agree with you 100%, well said.
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I get it- as a wife, I was the one buying the iPads, with money I make in my consulting business. However, my husband would have not been pleased if it was blowing all of our discretional income without discussing it first...

In this case, since he gets my iPad 1, he is happy, and he's thrilled that I've made enough $ through my p/t job to afford to do this.

Marriage is all about mutual responsibility. And while he "asks" me before buying stuff for his wood workshop, I don't ever think I would say "no"- depending on the expense it might only be "not now". Our unspoken rule is if it's a non-essential over about $200, the other spouse should be advised and gets a courtesy ask. Keeps us both happy.
 
The guy should have known better than to bring his iPad into the kitchen - might spill something on it.

THIS IS A JOKE LIGHTEN UP
 
gkarris said:
Here we go with the "You said this, so you must be this..." stereotype... :rolleyes:

I know guys where even though they are the "bread winner" or contribute greatly to the funds, they have to approve EVERYTHING through the Wife - whereas the Wife can spend as she pleases....

Happy Wife, Happy Life... :eek:

Not into that type of relationship.
Click to expand...

Just tried to answer the question that was asked... Not stereotyping at all
 
xfiftyfour said:
In red is your problem. In marriage you're a unit; there is no "your" money or "my" money.. it's "our" money. If there are things more important to the unit than an iPad (I can think of many, many possibilities), then you're contorting the wife's stance unfairly.

And, just for the record, for the women/wife bashing that's happened in the thread I'd like to point out that it can go both ways. I'm a wife and we were standing in line on launch day for ME.. my husband would never have blessed the purchase if it came from joint funds. This is the beauty of separate "fun" accounts. An allowance per se for each of us, free from the negotiations that happen from joint accounts (and to anyone that argues that it's ridiculous that big purchases from joint money have to be discussed is going to be in for a rude awakening come marriage, IMO). More couples should have 'em.
Click to expand...

Good point.
 
And the award goes to...

xfiftyfour said:
In red is your problem. In marriage you're a unit; there is no "your" money or "my" money.. it's "our" money. If there are things more important to the unit than an iPad (I can think of many, many possibilities), then you're contorting the wife's stance unfairly.

And, just for the record, for the women/wife bashing that's happened in the thread I'd like to point out that it can go both ways. I'm a wife and we were standing in line on launch day for ME.. my husband would never have blessed the purchase if it came from joint funds. This is the beauty of separate "fun" accounts. An allowance per se for each of us, free from the negotiations that happen from joint accounts (and to anyone that argues that it's ridiculous that big purchases from joint money have to be discussed is going to be in for a rude awakening come marriage, IMO). More couples should have 'em.
Click to expand...

Thank you! Applies to marriages of any gender, mixed or same. OUR money. A marriage is a team, and that's the only hope it has of lasting. If you don't intend for it to last, then there's no point in doing it in the first place.

The "wife" says no? For "wife" substitute "husband" or "partner"...still valid for one member of the marriage to vote "No". (Apple seems to have waged a successful campaign in the election.) :apple:
 
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