i do think there is something else tho, which is connecting automatically. I should turn off mail to manually check, perhaps delete all my apps, stop them from updating themselves? Is there a way to stop it updating?
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No, don't do that. It is likely because SBSettings reset at some point, and you connected. If you don't have an internet connection via O2, then you shouldn't be charged for internet. It doesn't matter if you have mail to manual or automatic. I have mail as to check every * mins, but since I don't have the APN setup for my carrier, nor do I actually have a data plan, it won't check over edge, just when I'm on WiFi. And it works just fine.
Its annoying i can't go into an O2 store here in germany, i dont think they'll give advice to a jailbroken unlocked iphone user
Why not, just go in. I don't see why'd the care.