Why do I feel like we are under some kind of psychological test in this thread? If so, I failed, no way I'm reading all of that. I tried at first, thinking well maybe it's no so long I then lost my places and scrolled down and see just how long it was.... That was the end for me. From what I did read it seemed more like a description of said products rather than a question. However there are no periods, question marks, or any punctuation at all to be able to tell. This guy has ipadpro beat for a mile. I actually enjoy ipadpro's posts. NOTHING about this was enjoyable at all.
EDIT: I just did as one other did earlier in this thread and had Siri read it all to me, lol. That was a trip! Even Siri had to pause at moments to take a breather! Quite hilarious having Siri read it.