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Is Dating Your Ex-Wifes Friend Crossing The Line ?
- Thread starter Blueimac
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Too many issues. Too many fish in the sea. Surely you can up with someone different.
* Highlight mine.
Well said.
Brings up a good point.
* Highlight mine.
I think it's morally wrong of her friend to do this.
I think it's somewhat wrong of you to do this.
And yes, if your ex-wife wanted to hook up with one of your friends, or your brother, or someone else in your life, you'd most likely feel betrayed.
Your ex-wife's feelings may not be high on your priority list anymore, and you may not feel obligated to treat her well. However, I think if you were a good person to begin with, you'd still take her feelings as a human being into consideration.
There are plenty of women in the world, so unless your ex-wife cheated on you, or was a real cow, then perhaps you should just be a bigger person and not touch her friend with a 6-inch pole.
I think it's somewhat wrong of you to do this.
And yes, if your ex-wife wanted to hook up with one of your friends, or your brother, or someone else in your life, you'd most likely feel betrayed.
Your ex-wife's feelings may not be high on your priority list anymore, and you may not feel obligated to treat her well. However, I think if you were a good person to begin with, you'd still take her feelings as a human being into consideration.
There are plenty of women in the world, so unless your ex-wife cheated on you, or was a real cow, then perhaps you should just be a bigger person and not touch her friend with a 6-inch pole.
do you have kids with your ex and do they interact regularly? if you answered yes to either then i hope you can handle more drama that a daytime tv show.
Dating the ex's friend: Not over the line
Dating the ex's sister: Probably over the line. And not a good idea.
Dating the ex's sister: Probably over the line. And not a good idea.
Morality and confusion is not a factor at all and My ex and I have a daughter but she has lived with my ex since 2007 when I left the relationship for good.
We ( my ex and i ) are civil to each other most of the time, It's only when i become involved with someone is when it becomes uncivilized more from her standpoint than mine.
The question that if its' entirely up to me was never a thought from the beginning.
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I love a good debate and I'm having more fun than a crystal ball going all night.
Handling drama I'm very capable of without a doubt and usually unless my ex is pouring it on like concrete during a full moon while conjuring up the most evil of demons to rip my flesh ...get my point yet ?
But the point is no drama most of the time and yes my ex, the friend and my daughter have been hanging out together for quite some time long before I hit the scene.
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After trying multiple venues for possible dating except for the local boot kicking bars and we're talking seriously rough looking concrete walls, no windows and one door....Like I said in my first post that started this all, I wasn't looking to date anyones friend and even if i would have thought it out first i still would have asked her out.
By the way we had a really great lunch date, went shopping, exchanged phone numbers and laughed ourselves silly ....couldn't have gone any better today
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The "new girl" wasn't concerned about anyone getting pissed off because she wouldn't have imagined that her friend my ex would ever break off the friendship..but she (my ex) did which i knew was coming ...
Never having to speak to my ex ever again would have made my life so much more peaceful over the last almost five years...and she would ever want to date one of my friends I wouldn't have any problem with that what so ever.
OK you have made a start, now get seven or eight of your ex's friends to do an orgy date. That should confuse the hell out of your ex.
KGB
KGB
we didn't really touch the subject of what if much until today and after having such a great day out together my ex tried her damnedest to crush her happy smile and smash our fun together out.
and she did, She called another friend that knows my ex and the friend that I'm seeing ..dragged her into it for some unknown vicious reason ..and for now I don't know all the details about the conversation but can only imagine ...also called her a liar ( the friend i'm seeing ), called off the friendship with her which upset her very much...we ( the one i'm dating ) had a long talk after the bomb was dropped...she still wants to continue seeing me, which I didn't think would change
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thanks for the thought, I needed a good laugh after this crazy mixed up day..except for the lunch date..that was perfect as any date could had ever been.
and with already being accused of only going after a piece of ...in mind from my ex.. once again "Wrong" ... even with the moral questions at hand I do have many i believe in strongly, We're just friends getting to know each other for now, nothing more nothing less
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Actually my ex's friends (back in Maryland were we're originally from) and I got along quite well and respected me unlike her family members.
Guessing that time will not only tell but hopefully march on quickly to the point where I'm at the happy place with my new friend and companion without the ex's interference or she'll be far away on another planet giving the locals her own brand of grief.
I would be hysterical with laughter, especially if it was the gay male one
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I really wanna see the answer to this one.
And if she is, would you try to bad-mouth her to said friend?
I'll save you the time of looking for my reply-
I would be hysterical with laughter, especially if it was the gay male one
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Just out of interest, Blueimac, who finished the relationship with your ex? I'm getting strong vibes here that you did and she is big time jealous of you being happy with anybody else, regardless of who that person is. In this case it happens to be somebody she knows well, which gives her a bit of ammo. I take it your ex remained single after you guys split up?
Personally, I don't see you as doing anything wrong, but it does sound as though your ex-wife's friend will soon be your ex-wife's ex-friend.
For info, my ex-gf is now dating one of my acquaintances and it doesn't bother me, I just think he's a bit nuts given that I talked to him about the stuff she did that drove me mad.
Personally, I don't see you as doing anything wrong, but it does sound as though your ex-wife's friend will soon be your ex-wife's ex-friend.
For info, my ex-gf is now dating one of my acquaintances and it doesn't bother me, I just think he's a bit nuts given that I talked to him about the stuff she did that drove me mad.
moving towards the dark side you are.......
why put yourself in the situation where you could further complicate your life and have so many bad things happen.
One of the main mistakes ALOT of people make after a divorce is not separating themselves from common links to the old relationship.... this includes property, location, AND friends too !
IMHO, there is no line to cross. Date/be friends with/have sex with whomever you want.....as long as that person(s) has no connection whatsoever to your ex or your previous relationship.....
Trust me, I have seen WAY TOO MANY similar situations totally destroy way too many lives, on both sides, and it JUST AINT WORTH IT !!!!!!!!!!!
why put yourself in the situation where you could further complicate your life and have so many bad things happen.
One of the main mistakes ALOT of people make after a divorce is not separating themselves from common links to the old relationship.... this includes property, location, AND friends too !
IMHO, there is no line to cross. Date/be friends with/have sex with whomever you want.....as long as that person(s) has no connection whatsoever to your ex or your previous relationship.....
Trust me, I have seen WAY TOO MANY similar situations totally destroy way too many lives, on both sides, and it JUST AINT WORTH IT !!!!!!!!!!!
This discussion was with your ex-wife? Why on earth would you have a several-hour conversation with your ex-wife?
Then you pass the "do unto others" test (not that I'm religious). If you'd be happy with her dating your friends then I think it's ok for you to date hers.
My thoughts:
It's ok for your ex wife to feel betrayed. She can cry about it, talk to you both about it, and even ASK you to end it. Not more.
Your daughter's feelings (now, but also in the future) matter most imho: she didn't choose you, you chose her, and have a responsibility to her. If you have to make your life worse to make hers better; do that. It's your daughter.
What your ex ended up doing is bullying and hating. In that case i end all communications and the relationship (if it weren't for your daughter). She has no right, (nor anyone) to bully you into anything.
Crappy arguments in this thread: "if you would be ok with it, she should be too" is nonsense. IF i would be ok with, say, anal sex.. should you be ok with that too? It's THEIR choice to be, or not be ok with it.
It's ok for your ex wife to feel betrayed. She can cry about it, talk to you both about it, and even ASK you to end it. Not more.
Your daughter's feelings (now, but also in the future) matter most imho: she didn't choose you, you chose her, and have a responsibility to her. If you have to make your life worse to make hers better; do that. It's your daughter.
What your ex ended up doing is bullying and hating. In that case i end all communications and the relationship (if it weren't for your daughter). She has no right, (nor anyone) to bully you into anything.
Crappy arguments in this thread: "if you would be ok with it, she should be too" is nonsense. IF i would be ok with, say, anal sex.. should you be ok with that too? It's THEIR choice to be, or not be ok with it.
how do you know about... oh never mind.
back to the topic.
do they live close by? where they really close friends during your marriage?
i'd say go for it. anyway.
Great...you've answered your question.
Did your ex say this to you? If so why does your ex have anything to say to you about your life? By definition an ex is an ex and has no involvement with your current life - unless you aren't being honest and telling us you have kids with her. In that case drop it now...your kids will be twice as damaged by the relationship since the 'ex' will most likely make it a contentious point between you and share it with the kids.
This begs the question of why did you have more than a 5 minute conversation with your ex? Are you two still in love with each other? Otherwise...she's your ex...meaning she is out of your life.
No I'm not crossing the line...how odd that you would ask!<G>
I guess you should blame your wandering eye.
Can we detect a certain amount of hysteria (or bitterness)? Or is it that you think no one would find your ex shaggable? Or that you have really god-awful friends?
I'd say it is between the two of you (You and your prospective girlfriend).
Of course if she and your ex-wife are bosom buddies then it will lead to trouble.
I say think you need to think of your happiness. If she's a potential future wife you can't worry about who you're going to make unhappy.
Have Fun
Seeing that you've gone out with the now ex-friend, you now know more about how your ex will behave any time it looks like you will be moving on in your relationship with her.
If there are any women in this forum, I would love an explanation of these dating "rules" that women seem to have made up, and that seem to utterly ignore human nature. Just to add fuel to the fire, it seems to me that women can do some pretty irrational things when it comes to relationships (not to say that men can't and don't, but we generally don't go crying to all of our friends about it, we're too embarrassed by our stooping to such depths).
Seeing that you've gone out with the now ex-friend, you now know more about how your ex will behave any time it looks like you will be moving on in your relationship with her.
If there are any women in this forum, I would love an explanation of these dating "rules" that women seem to have made up, and that seem to utterly ignore human nature. Just to add fuel to the fire, it seems to me that women can do some pretty irrational things when it comes to relationships (not to say that men can't and don't, but we generally don't go crying to all of our friends about it, we're too embarrassed by our stooping to such depths).
Which rules would those be?
My bold.
You've done more than add fuel — that was a whole can of gasoline.
Men are some of the biggest cry babies. Perhaps in your neck of the woods men still bite their lip and reach for the six-pack of beer, but if I had a £ for each time I've had a (straight) male friend crying on my sofa *cough* over what his girl "gone and done to him"…
Why do you equate expressing feelings with embarrassment?
I finished the relationship two years before even leaving my ex-wife, As if it ever had a beginning to finish. But to the point I left in 2007 and there has been jealously oozing out of my ex since then.
Now for an update - ex-wife made friend ex-friend, but one day later all is forgiven and they are best friends again hanging out