Is this Alzheimer's?

[A.Goldberg]

No doubt. I have expressed my concerns to her.

But she's not good with mortality, and she's really not okay with the idea of Alzheimer's. I don't want to turn this into a no-win situation, but I can't force her to face the fact's (if those actually are the facts) and I don't know if she's capable of handling it if it were diagnosed.

This is the most difficult part. Clearly you have reason to be concerned- obviously a real medical review is necessary and that would be my recommendation. People in early dimentia often don’t notice their symptoms (hard to accept things happening you don’t remember) and refuse the diagnosis. Clearly this can create issues with family, friends, and long trusted doctors.

I’ve had patients angrily refuse dimentia diagnoses and within 10 minutes of talking been made clearly aware just how prominent the issue is.

On the other hand, my parents are in their 60’s. They forget a fair amount of insignificant things. But I would stick with your gut and get her evaluated.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

This might not be relevant but when I started suffering from my heart condition, I became very forgetful.

That's another thing I'd look at, blood flow to the brain is very important.

Exactly. My mother's cardiac condition - she now has several stents and a pace-maker - and the extraordinary cocktail of medication she has been on for the best part of two decades, cannot but has had some sort of effect on her.

I'd try to have the doctor check for other possible physical conditions, as well.

Something else which might be either a signal of something going on or simply an indication of her being tired: irritability. Has your wife been more irritable lately, with the cause not always obvious?

Very good point.

This is the most difficult part. Clearly you have reason to be concerned- obviously a real medical review is necessary and that would be my recommendation. People in early dimentia often don’t notice their symptoms (hard to accept things happening you don’t remember) and refuse the diagnosis. Clearly this can create issues with family, friends, and long trusted doctors.

I’ve had patients angrily refuse dimentia diagnoses and within 10 minutes of talking been made clearly aware just how prominent the issue is.

On the other hand, my parents are in their 60’s. They forget a fair amount of insignificant things. But I would stick with your gut and get her evaluated.

My mother knew something was wrong, and privately would say that she knew she was 'oh, dear, I'm getting very bad'; one week-end, she came into my study, sat down and said she felt as though she had 'holes, like black holes in her head'.

In the early to mid stages, these searing shafts of insight are every bit as unsettling as the progress of the condition itself.

 

[Septembersrain]

Exactly. My mother's cardiac condition - she now has several stents and a pace-maker - and the extraordinary cocktail of medication she has been on for the best part of two decades, cannot but has had some sort of effect on her.

I'd try to have the doctor check for other possible physical conditions, as well.



Very good point.



My mother knew something was wrong, and privately would say that she knew she was 'oh, dear, I'm getting very bad'; one week-end, she came into my study, sat down and said she felt as though she had 'holes, like black holes in her head'.

In the early to mid stages, these searing shafts of insight are every bit as unsettling as the progress of the condition itself.

My fiancee, his paternal grandmother started saying that she felt like pieces of herself were being stolen away. Not just that her memory was going bad.

She used to say that it almost felt that she was becoming someone else entirely. She felt the gaps in her memory to be of less concern than the way she felt of her personality.

She had dementia, it was very difficult on the family at first because once she changed entirely... Even in her lucid moments she was just never quite the same.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

My fiancee, his paternal grandmother started saying that she felt like pieces of herself were being stolen away. Not just that her memory was going bad.

She used to say that it almost felt that she was becoming someone else entirely. She felt the gaps in her memory to be of less concern than the way she felt of her personality.

She had dementia, it was very difficult on the family at first because once she changed entirely... Even in her lucid moments she was just never quite the same.

The different forms of dementia affect people in different ways.

With a version of dementia that is predominantly vascular dementia (with elements of Alzheimer's), which is what my mother has, one retains one's own personality - and the memory of who (not necessarily what) you are - some sense of self - for quite a long time.

This is where it differs from classic Alzheimer's, where the personality can and does change dramatically and drastically.

To @citizenzen, wandering, or forgetting where she is, or how she got there, is something to watch out for as the condition progresses if it is dementia.

Is she withdrawing from social situations or finding excuses not to do things or go places? Does she participate in conversations a lot less, nodding and agreeing, rather than responding in speech?

 

[Huntn]

The different forms of dementia affect people in different ways.

With a version of dementia that is predominantly vascular dementia (with elements of Alzheimer's), which is what my mother has, one retains one's own personality - and the memory of who (not necessarily what) you are - some sense of self - for quite a long time.

This is where it differs from classic Alzheimer's, where the personality can and does change dramatically and drastically.

To @citizenzen, wandering, or forgetting where she is, or how she got there, is something to watch out for as the condition progresses if it is dementia.

Is she withdrawing from social situations or finding excuses not to do things or go places? Does she participate in conversations a lot less, nodding and agreeing, rather than responding in speech?

Wandering can be a real danger in this situation. A friend’s Mom lives in a senior home that handles patients with dementia and my understanding is the area of the facility she lives in, the outside doors are kept locked.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Wandering can be a real danger in this situation. A friend’s Mom lives in a senior home that handles patients with dementia and my understanding is the area of the facility she lives in, the outside doors are kept locked.

In my experience, the wandering - or the tendency to wander - occurs in the "mid" stages of this condition, not the early ones.

This is also linked with what the medical professionals term "sun-downing", a tendency to get agitated or very energetic during the hours of darkness, which also tends to happen at the "mid" stages of the condition.

We had nocturnal wandering - several episodes per week - from my mother from - roughly - late 2012 until well into the latter part of 2014, maybe reaching into early 2015.

With one striking exception, - around Christmas - I was abroad at the time and thus missed this drama - she did not attempt to leave the house. She would spring out of bed at around three in the morning, incredibly energetic and sometimes extraordinarily aggressive when one tried to persuade her to return to her bed.

One night, in early 2013, having awakened to not finding my father beside her, she had leapt out of bed (and I mean leapt - I heard the thump of her feet, - normally, by then her gait was tentative, as she had a history of falls - as she planted them solidly on the ground) and proceeded to descend the stairs at a confident trot, roaming the house, checking room after room, looking for my dad. She was calling out plaintively for him, asking worriedly, "Where's Charlie?" and murmuring, sadly, "He's not here..." as she wandered form room to room not having found him. Unfortunately, as he had died eight years earlier, she was not going to be able to find him.

That night is etched indelibly on my mind and memory. I was able to get her to return to bed when she ran out of energy, and I think - at a sub-conscious level - her voice was heavy with sadness - she knew he was gone, but - to my shock - at a conscious level, she had completely forgotten this.

She forgot the names of her children before she forgot the names of her parents - once, a few years ago, I asked her the names of her two sons (my two brothers). "Jack and Jill," she answered promptly, an answer that had us torn between hilarity and heartbreak.

She remembered me for longer, but that is because I was around between periods abroad. These days, I think she thinks I'm her mother, when she remembers anything at all.

 

[Huntn]

In my experience, the wandering - or the tendency to wander - occurs in the "mid" stages of this condition, not the early ones.

This is also linked with what the medical professionals term "sun-downing", a tendency to get agitated or very energetic during the hours of darkness, which also tends to happen at the "mid" stages of the condition.

We had nocturnal wandering - several episodes per week - from my mother from - roughly - late 2012 until well into the latter part of 2014, maybe reaching into early 2015.

With one striking exception, - around Christmas - I was abroad at the time and thus missed this drama - she did not attempt to leave the house. She would spring out of bed at around three in the morning, incredibly energetic and sometimes extraordinarily aggressive when one tried to persuade her to return to her bed.

One night, in early 2013, having awakened to not finding my father beside her, she had leapt out of bed (and I mean leapt - I heard the thump of her feet, - normally, by then her gait was tentative, as she had a history of falls - as she planted them solidly on the ground) and proceeded to descend the stairs at a confident trot, roaming the house, checking room after room, looking for my dad. She was calling out plaintively for him, asking worriedly, "Where's Charlie?" and murmuring, sadly, "He's not here..." as she wandered form room to room not having found him. Unfortunately, as he had died eight years earlier, she was not going to be able to find him.

That night is etched indelibly on my mind and memory. I was able to get her to return to bed when she ran out of energy, and I think - at a sub-conscious level - her voice was heavy with sadness - she knew he was gone, but - to my shock - at a conscious level, she had completely forgotten this.

She forgot the names of her children before she forgot the names of her parents - once, a few years ago, I asked her the names of her two sons (my two brothers). "Jack and Jill," she answered promptly, an answer that had us torn between hilarity and heartbreak.

She remembered me for longer, but that is because I was around between periods abroad. These days, I think she thinks I'm her mother, when she remembers anything at all.

I’m sympathetic to you and anyone who lives this with a family member.

From a quality of life perspective, it seems that keeling over dead before symptoms become exaggerated might be viewed as preferential, although if we don’t die quickly with an event, we’ll all eventually be reduced to being physical or mental invalids before we go. My vote (for myself) is to keel over vs 5 years of degrading quality of life, at least before returning to 2 year old status.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

I’m sympathetic to you and anyone who lives this with a family member.

From a quality of life perspective, it seems that kneeling over dead before symptoms become exaggerated might be viewed as preferential, although if we don’t die quickly with an event, will all eventually be reduced to being physical or mental invalids before we go. My vote (for myself) is to keel over vs 5 years of degrading quality of life, at least before returning to 2 year old status.

Couldn't agree more.

I'm a big believer in the concept of 'quality of life', over that of 'quantity of life'.

Having said that, in some, such as my mother, the will to live is strong, as she loves life.

 

[A.Goldberg]

Here’s some good news: Bill Gates has pledged $50m for Alzheimer’s research.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/13/health/bill-gates-announcement-alzheimers/index.html

Sadly, where we stand right now there are some Alzheimer’s treatments, but they really only slow the progression of symptoms (quite minimally at that, we’re talking a matter of a month or so) and are quite expensive. Hopefully new treatments can improve from where we are.

My grandmother developed moderate dementia symptoms after my grandfather died. Within a year she moved into a nursing home where things declined over a matter of years. It was sad to watch the mental decline... she seemed to revert to a happy time in her life. She confused me with my father, nurses with friends and neighbors. She’d often try to call her mother who had been dead for nearly 3 decades. She and my grandfather traveled the world extensively, oftentimes I think she thought she was in a hotel. We would visit and she would say “how did you find me” or say how similar the building was to some imagined building in another country. She’d often report daily tasks she needed to do around town. There were obviously devistating moments of clarity. Bringing her back to the nursing home after family holidays was always difficult.

While losing ones “self” has to be one of the most awful things imaginable, I am grateful my grandmother was able to live out the majority of her days believing she was traveling or reporting having spent the morning with family or friends. In that sense I believe she was mostly happy and content. I can only hope the same for others until significant detection methods and treatments are discovered.

 

[old mac]

What a sad thread. It brings back memories of the lost look on my mother's face when I visited her, and had to tell her who I was.
I have no advise for you OP, but I wish your wife well.

 

[MacNut]

Sleep apnea could also be a cause of short term memory loss.

 

[Gutwrench]

I had concussions as an athlete. Knock unconscious twice. The worrisome is the brain injury in SF. My neurologist is tracking and documenting certain let’s...say...challenges.

 

[Septembersrain]

I had concussions as an athlete. Knock unconscious twice. The worrisome is the brain injury in SF. My neurologist is tracking and documenting certain let’s...say...challenges.

That is terrible. I am sorry you are going through that. Brain injuries are always so difficult because we don't fully understand their long term implications.

 

[Gutwrench]

That is terrible. I am sorry you are going through that. Brain injuries are always so difficult because we don't fully understand their long term implications.

Aww thanks. I’m doing fine plus I have a built in excuse for everything. Ha ha.

 

[Septembersrain]

Aww thanks. I’m doing fine plus I have a built in excuse for everything. Ha ha.

That's a positive way to look at it!

 

[Cbost]

I'm not pretending that this is a medical diagnosis, but I wanted to see if some people have any experience with this. My wife is 61 and I'm noticing more and more instances that I find worrying. Both of these occurred within the last two weeks.

1. I do the grocery shopping and she writes down whatever items she needs. A new item appeared on the list, Knudsen's "Simply Nutritious" Morning Blend Juice.

I went shopping and didn't see the product. When I got home I explained that I had bought everything except that item. She told me the store where I would likely find it, and I started a new list, with that item (written exactly as she had) for the next time I went shopping.

The next morning, she's looking at the new list with that one item on it, and asks, "what's this?" She didn't recognize the very item she had asked for and we talked about the previous day.

2. She bought a new car that she's been driving for nearly a year. Last week, while we were both in the car, I pointed to the Emergency Lights button which is displayed prominently and remarked that I hadn't noticed it in all the times I've been in the car. She agreed that she also hadn't taken notice of that button.

One week later, we driving off to a restaurant and she points to that same button and asks, "What's that?" I told her it's the button that activates the emergency flashing lights, to which she replies, "Oh. I've never noticed it before."

You should reach out to the Alzheimer's Association at alz.org. They will have a local chapter near where you live. They are a free support organization that can guide you in the right direction. They have 24/7 phone based support where you can call and simply explain what you've observed ( you can actually call them to talk about anything). Their trained representatives will provide you with some direction and help you evaluate what you should do.

Alzheimer's disease is the #1 cause of dementia, but it is not the only cause of dementia. Other forms are treatable, so you should really act now. Even if this is Alzheimer's, there are many things that you can do now to improve quality of life later on. Alz.org is the place to start.