Is this normal?

[TSE]

Hey now - you guys know I love ya!

I was actually going to respond to this thread once I got there and settled in. I'm leaving in about 5 minutes, my parents are driving. I hope to make some new friends the first day who I can explore the campus with tomorrow. I am quite nervous at this point.

Thanks for all the advice, reading that other people were/are nervous in the same situation makes me feel quite a bit normal.

 

[Arran]

But...do NOT be like I was in college. I sucked. I want to go back 18 years ago and kick my own ass.

While you're back there, give mine a kick too. I so could have used it.

...I hope to make some new friends the first day who I can explore the campus with tomorrow...

Sounds like you have a better plan than I had back then. Good luck!

 

[puma1552]

JESUS, I started college 9 years ago. F.M.Life. Holy hell I'm old. Seems like just yesterday I was pounding drinks with friends and roaming for house parties.

Honestly man cherish this moment. You are literally on the verge of what very likely will/can be the very best years of your life, and you're right at the leading edge of it, which could easily be classified as the best part of the entire experience.

Your first few weeks you will be meeting everyone in your dorms, your doors will all be open and it will more or less be a walk in free for all with booze, houseparties and basement keggers with beer pong, and sex and random hookups and puking mixed in.

You are going to love every minute of it. Savor it. You've got lots of 18 year old girls (oh how young that sounds to me now that I'm an old man of 27 who couldn't possibly touch one today, but I realize back then they seemed like old adults) who've never been away from home, the testosterone, estrogen, and desire to go wild and play and live the college life away from mom and dad and needing to sneak around and listen for the garage door opening are going to be pumping and it's going to be a fantastic time in your life.

Enjoy every minute, and my word of advice--get student season passes to the hockey/football games (I was at a great engineering school but also was a Big Ten school and one of the largest schools in the country) and tailgate at 7 AM with the best of em, and put flasks in your hoodie on the way into the stadium. My big regret in college was not doing this, but towards the end I went to the games with people and joined in and wished to God I had done it all a long, even though I never gave a rat's ass about sports. That said, Gopher hockey is great.

Bust your ass M-F with classes and don't get distracted (except for those $1.25 PITCHERS on Tuesdays and Ladies night on Wednesdays...) and then let loose on the weekend.

The trick to college is balance. I'm 27 and lived at home the first two years unfortunately and busted ass and didn't touch booze until I was 20 (really), but ten years later look at me ramble on here about the golden era like I'm an old blue-hair remembering the good ol' days...it's obvious I didn't have as much fun as I wanted/should have, because it's not out of my system, which is kind of sad, lol. But--I did well and don't regret it, and have landed a good job and have a good life today. Raping my classes the first year I was there and floating my GPA on those made a big difference I feel. In other words, it's crucial to do well your first year because every semester after that will affect your GPA less, meaning NAIL your classes the first year and ride that GPA out the door three years later. By the time you're a senior, your grades will have little affect on your GPA, even if you have a bad semester of tough classes. Likewise, a good semester will do little to raise a bad GPA. So my advice, be serious M-F, and then let loose. Balance is key, the anxiety will fade. I've been an anxiety nut my whole life and I loved it even when I hated it.

I wonder if I could still work my way through the crowd to the keg in a musty basement with a $5 cup and just feign being a grad student???

 

[Sankersizzle]

JESUS, I started college 9 years ago. F.M.Life. Holy hell I'm old. Seems like just yesterday I was pounding drinks with friends and roaming for house parties.

Honestly man cherish this moment. You are literally on the verge of what very likely will/can be the very best years of your life, and you're right at the leading edge of it, which could easily be classified as the best part of the entire experience.

Your first few weeks you will be meeting everyone in your dorms, your doors will all be open and it will more or less be a walk in free for all with booze, houseparties and basement keggers with beer pong, and sex and random hookups and puking mixed in.

You are going to love every minute of it. Savor it. You've got lots of 18 year old girls (oh how young that sounds to me now that I'm an old man of 27 who couldn't possibly touch one today, but I realize back then they seemed like old adults) who've never been away from home, the testosterone, estrogen, and desire to go wild and play and live the college life away from mom and dad and needing to sneak around and listen for the garage door opening are going to be pumping and it's going to be a fantastic time in your life.

Enjoy every minute, and my word of advice--get student season passes to the hockey/football games (I was at a great engineering school but also was a Big Ten school and one of the largest schools in the country) and tailgate at 7 AM with the best of em, and put flasks in your hoodie on the way into the stadium. My big regret in college was not doing this, but towards the end I went to the games with people and joined in and wished to God I had done it all a long, even though I never gave a rat's ass about sports. That said, Gopher hockey is great.

Bust your ass M-F with classes and don't get distracted (except for those $1.25 PITCHERS on Tuesdays and Ladies night on Wednesdays...) and then let loose on the weekend.

The trick to college is balance. I'm 27 and lived at home the first two years unfortunately and busted ass and didn't touch booze until I was 20 (really), but ten years later look at me ramble on here about the golden era like I'm an old blue-hair remembering the good ol' days...it's obvious I didn't have as much fun as I wanted/should have, because it's not out of my system, which is kind of sad, lol. But--I did well and don't regret it, and have landed a good job and have a good life today. Raping my classes the first year I was there and floating my GPA on those made a big difference I feel. In other words, it's crucial to do well your first year because every semester after that will affect your GPA less, meaning NAIL your classes the first year and ride that GPA out the door three years later. By the time you're a senior, your grades will have little affect on your GPA, even if you have a bad semester of tough classes. Likewise, a good semester will do little to raise a bad GPA. So my advice, be serious M-F, and then let loose. Balance is key, the anxiety will fade. I've been an anxiety nut my whole life and I loved it even when I hated it.

I wonder if I could still work my way through the crowd to the keg in a musty basement with a $5 cup and just feign being a grad student???

I can say as a student who just graduated undergrad (and now returning for my masters, I couldn't stand to not be in the university party environment for even a year) that this man is speaks the truth and is incredibly wise. Although I don't know how Puma could have resisted $1.25 pitchers, they are $15 here!

To be honest, I hooked up with an 18 year old chick (a first year) while I was in my third year (20 Y/O) and all my friends looked at me as if I was some sort of pedo...

 

[puma1552]

son, i didn't resist...i bought 2 and double fisted! worth every puke

 

[Young Spade]

o_0 Why on earth would you do all of that in college?

 

[Sankersizzle]

son, i didn't resist...i bought 2 and double fisted! worth every puke

i hope you puked and rallied at those prices!

 

[0098386]

o_0 Why on earth would you do all of that in college?

Always wondered this too! I think it's all about being let off the leash. There you are in a new place (unless you're commuting from home), some sort of student loan/financial backing to blow how you want and amongst people your age in the same situation of zero responsibilities.
That's my guess anyways!

 

[TSE]

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

So on the facebook page this girl wants to go to lunch, so I say sure. We were going to meet up at a place on campus. I walk around literally for 2 hours trying to find the place, asking people, getting sent all around campus and I don't find it.

So I go to this place to eat. I buy my meal. See an empty chair at a table. Sit down next to a dude and start talking. Bam. Panic attack.

I have panic attacks whenever I eat with people I am not 100% comfortable with. It is the worst feeling in the world.

So these past 3 days I have had maybe 1500 calories. I have met only 2-3 people. And my anxiety disorder is back with a vengeance. :/

I made an appointment at the mental health center for next wednesday... that seems so far away.

 

[Young Spade]

Always wondered this too! I think it's all about being let off the leash. There you are in a new place (unless you're commuting from home), some sort of student loan/financial backing to blow how you want and amongst people your age in the same situation of zero responsibilities.
That's my guess anyways!

Yes. Seeing as my parents are rational and didn't horde me inside along with being able to deny compulsive decision making (something sadly people have no idea how to do), I really felt no need to go and do crazy things.

I guess you could say I'm "grounded" in my ways. I do the same things at college that I do at my home. Stay up late, talk to friends, hang out, coffee shops; I' was never a big drinker (hate beer, don't like the feeling of buzzed) so... yea.

I dunno, I guess it all comes down to personal preference (obviously lol) but some people just know how to handle and moderate that more than others.

Having sex with slutty women was never on the top of my list though.

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

So on the facebook page this girl wants to go to lunch, so I say sure. We were going to meet up at a place on campus. I walk around literally for 2 hours trying to find the place, asking people, getting sent all around campus and I don't find it.

So I go to this place to eat. I buy my meal. See an empty chair at a table. Sit down next to a dude and start talking. Bam. Panic attack.

I have panic attacks whenever I eat with people I am not 100% comfortable with. It is the worst feeling in the world.

So these past 3 days I have had maybe 1500 calories. I have met only 2-3 people. And my anxiety disorder is back with a vengeance. :/

I made an appointment at the mental health center for next wednesday... that seems so far away.

Oh wow :/ Well just sit alone? If you know you're going to have these panic attacks why sit next to people? I'm into my second year and I spent most (85 percent or so) of my meals alone, simply because I don't really mind being alone.

I would suggest you trying to... accustom yourself to solitude. I once read a quote that said (something along the lines anyway), "All misery comes from the inability to sit in a room alone and be content."

Makes all the sense in the world. That is probably the most sound and completely true quote I have ever read. I'm not saying don't hang out with people (I only hang out with a few people at college as well), but also be comfortable spending time with yourself as well. You'll learn more about yourself when you're alone than you will with other people.

 

[zioxide]

Definitely normal. I don't know anyone who doesn't get at least a little bit anxious when starting something new. Thats something that wouldn't be normal.

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

So on the facebook page this girl wants to go to lunch, so I say sure. We were going to meet up at a place on campus. I walk around literally for 2 hours trying to find the place, asking people, getting sent all around campus and I don't find it.

So I go to this place to eat. I buy my meal. See an empty chair at a table. Sit down next to a dude and start talking. Bam. Panic attack.

I have panic attacks whenever I eat with people I am not 100% comfortable with. It is the worst feeling in the world.

So these past 3 days I have had maybe 1500 calories. I have met only 2-3 people. And my anxiety disorder is back with a vengeance. :/

I made an appointment at the mental health center for next wednesday... that seems so far away.

I'm not a doctor or anything, but I know that when I started college I felt crazy overwhelmed too. The thing you need to remember is that EVERYONE else there is in the same boat. They are all moved away from home for the first time, all meeting new people, etc. That's why almost everyone is super friendly, especially at the beginning of freshman year.

If you get feel uncomfortable eating with people you don't know, then wait a little bit for that. Message that girl back, tell her you got lost and had no idea where to go (she'll understand, she probably has had the same problem), and ask her to go for a cup of coffee. Then just start with SMALL talk.. talk about classes,the dorm, where you are from, etc. Try not to worry about what she thinks, and remember that she is new to this place to and probably just as apprehensive as you. Everyone is just trying to get comfortable with their new surroundings. Before you know it you will have been sitting there for hours talking. But take it from me, pay attention to time.. there were a few times I was sitting with friends or whatever in the dining hall and we were having so much fun that I missed class.

 

[dukebound85]

only reading the initial post.....so bear with me

OP college is a blast. You will love it. So much to do and so many cool people to meet. College has been truly the best time of my life....so much that I willingly took 5 years to graduate and then after graduating and working some, had to come back for more!

With that said, I remember in terms of academics, the expectations of you having self motivation to stay on top of your work and time management were the biggest adjustments I had to make from hs but once you get in the swing of things, it is not bad at all

To be honest, I hooked up with an 18 year old chick (a first year) while I was in my third year (20 Y/O) and all my friends looked at me as if I was some sort of pedo...

I feel you. I mean I am 26 and in my second year of grad school and feel I am robbing the cradle by seeing a girl entering her senior year and is 21...

 

[iJohnHenry]

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

Sounds like you were sent on a snipe hunt.

Either she sandbagged you with a place that doesn't exist, or upper class-men are in on the gag, once the place name is mentioned.

Some people are vile, and have too much time on their hands.

 

[Young Spade]

I feel you. I mean I am 26 and in my second year of grad school and feel I am robbing the cradle by seeing a girl entering her senior year and is 21...

People are ignorant and will always just "go along" with the crowd. Same goes for 99 percent of the people who are homophobic or don't "allow" gay marriage.

Personally I'm 19 and dating a 17 year old. People say the same. However, regardless of what others think, she is an amazing person and, by far, the most mature, understanding, thoughtful, loving, caring, sweet, kind, and generous person I have ever met.

Age means nothing to the wise. It mean everything to the ignorant.

OH **** I should quote that.

*ahem* you heard that here first.

 

[Sankersizzle]

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

So on the facebook page this girl wants to go to lunch, so I say sure. We were going to meet up at a place on campus. I walk around literally for 2 hours trying to find the place, asking people, getting sent all around campus and I don't find it.

So I go to this place to eat. I buy my meal. See an empty chair at a table. Sit down next to a dude and start talking. Bam. Panic attack.

I have panic attacks whenever I eat with people I am not 100% comfortable with. It is the worst feeling in the world.

So these past 3 days I have had maybe 1500 calories. I have met only 2-3 people. And my anxiety disorder is back with a vengeance. :/

I made an appointment at the mental health center for next wednesday... that seems so far away.

No worries, OP. It happens to a lot of people, the first couple of days can be very overwhelming. When I first went to university, I was much more shy. But in the first few weeks I came out of my shell and by the end of the second month I had a great group of friends and my floor in residence was super tight. I used to be somewhat anxious around new people, now I'm super social. I had also never really talked to girls (I went to an all boys private school) so I was so awkward at first. Now I hit mad bitties. It will all come around in time, you should just keep applying yourself. It is important not to be fooled by the illusions people present, everyone in first year is anxious about meeting new people, and EVERYONE in university is self conscious about EVERYTHING.

Sounds like you were sent on a snipe hunt.

Either she sandbagged you with a place that doesn't exist, or upper class-men are in on the gag, once the place name is mentioned.

Some people are vile, and have too much time on their hands.

Yeah, one of my buddies got sent on a snipe hunt, he was looking for HOURS, lol. Don't worry though, OP. It happens. In a few years, you can mislead the frosh on their own snipe hunts.

You can get snipes back when you have a pig party (when your brotherhood competes to see who can bring the ugliest girl to a party). Also, finding out who their best friend is and having sex with them is a very good revenge alternative as well.

 

[Daffodil]

These past couple days have not been good unfortunately. :/

So on the facebook page this girl wants to go to lunch, so I say sure. We were going to meet up at a place on campus. I walk around literally for 2 hours trying to find the place, asking people, getting sent all around campus and I don't find it.

So I go to this place to eat. I buy my meal. See an empty chair at a table. Sit down next to a dude and start talking. Bam. Panic attack.

I have panic attacks whenever I eat with people I am not 100% comfortable with. It is the worst feeling in the world.

So these past 3 days I have had maybe 1500 calories. I have met only 2-3 people. And my anxiety disorder is back with a vengeance. :/

I made an appointment at the mental health center for next wednesday... that seems so far away.

Good for you for making an appointment with mental health! While it's totally normal to be stressed out/lonely, having a therapist helping you deal with it makes such a difference. I was pretty bad at making new friends when I entered college, so I was pretty depressed a lot my first year, and if I could do it over again, I would have sought help much sooner.

Like others have suggested, you don't need to talk to someone everywhere all the time. Bring a book to your meals, for instance, and entertain yourself. Are you living in dorms? If so, there's where you should put in your efforts. Get to know those you live with, and then you can all go eat together. Much easier than striking up conversations with total strangers... And once classes start, try some new-to-college small-talk with people while waiting for the professor to start. At least then you have something in common (the class).

 

[TSE]

Well I have made a TON of friends since last post.

These three girls asked me to walk them back to their dorm last night, so I did, they added me on facebook I saw just this morning. Haha. Hopefully I don't get friendzoned.

My only problem now is eating... I haven't eaten since Tuesday really because everytime I eat I get panic attacks and get sick to my stomach... So I am going in on Wednesday to see if I can get it worked out.

 

[Sankersizzle]

c

 

[TSE]

Two of them were hot, one of them was dece.

But yeah, I am doing a lot better... except for the whole eating thing.

 

[Daffodil]

Two of them were hot, one of them was dece.

But yeah, I am doing a lot better... except for the whole eating thing.

Good luck! Not eating sounds like torture to me... Hopefully you can find a way to work around it. At least get something like granola bars or fruit and eat on the go?