To you it might be just a "piece of crap", but for me, I'll take the affordable, "crappy" phone any day that can still easily do 80-90% of what your $1000 (average actual price with contract that you end-up paying for the the life of your iPhone's straight-jacket contract) can do performance and apps wise. And in reality, I can do so much more than you as far as actually controlling my hardware and my OS (down to the kernel level), and have alot more left in my wallet for the bigger tech things that do more than just suck my attention span every two seconds and contribute to just increasing my thankfully not yet very well developed ADD.
And at least my "crappy" $120 (27.50 a month) little Android does the actual basic phone and unlimited data featured functions flawlessly - even better than many of the sorry, and $$$ soaked inmates now contractually tethered to AT$T's "you still can't hear me now" dropped calls and data jams on their fancy, pansy $1000+++ iOS's "pretty in your red inked" GUI.....
You described the "$1000+++ iOS's" as being "fancy, pansy"...
It's one thing to defend your purchase but there's really no need to get so defensive to the point of being offensive about it. As a matter of fact, your irate overreaction suggests an insecurity with your purchase and your apparent jealousy of the owners of the "pansy iOS" that you make a (weak) attempt at mocking.
If you really felt that you were okay with your purchase, you wouldn't find it necessary to attack others that doubt it. But you clearly do find it necessary to defend yourself like there's no tomorrow. There's no shame in using a different phone at all, but there's shame in reacting the way you did.