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Sharing between ethernet and wi-fi devices...

I had just the same problem for ages!! Sharing between ethernet cable network and Wi-fi didn't work at all. Today I took a look into my D-Link DIR-300 Router configuration, and tried deactivating "multicast streams" in Advanced - Advanced network, and VOILA!

Now Home sharing between my iMac, my Apple TV (both connected through Ethernet), and my iPhone and iPad (Wifi) is working like a charm.

I hope this works for all of you people.
 
My son was having the disappearing icon issue as well. After listening to him go on and on, it hit me... he was using my wi-fi on a guest account. Once we logged him into main wi-fi he was good to go.

Thank you. That fixed my problem. Both of my computers were logged in to the guest network. I switched them both to the main network and sharing in iTunes appeared instantly.
 
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