I originally was torn between the pro max and the mini - the mini for the size and how it was quite an upgrade over my XR, but I really like the pro camera features. However, I ended up compromising and going for the 12 pro. I’m just starting on iPhone photography, but the Max Pro is just too big a phone. I love the size of the XR.
For someone in your shoes (which is where I was when the announcement first happened) I just don't get where the 12 Pro has a place. If you want the best camera you want the 12 Pro Max. If you want the most portable device you want the 12 Mini. If you want a good iPhone but don't care a ton about the camera and either don't want or care about the smaller size then you want the 12.
The 12 Pro seems to be the phone where all you get are the tradeoffs at a higher price. I legitimately don't get the draw of it.