Legal Advice

[Renzatic]

He works at multiple places, but he's at his house at times. His parents don't know about this and they open his mail sometimes, which would probably be better for me but he'd hate me for it. He doesn't want them to know about it.

Since it requires his signature upon receipt, his parents won't be given the chance to open it themselves.

But even so, that should be of no concern to you. He's taken a thousand dollar computer from you, given you nothing but lame excuses, and a bounced check, giving you, in total, absolutely zilch.

There comes a point when people no longer deserve the benefit of the doubt you might be willing to give them. Your friend, if you can still call him such, has long since reached that point. You need to come to the conclusion that if you want to see even a dime of that money, you'll have to take steps that may very well jeopardize your relationship.

From the way things sound, he isn't worth the worry you've been willingly giving him. If he were a true friend, he never would've put you in this bind to begin with.

 

[Squilly]

How about that $200 you scammed from some person on another forum?

I just took the time to double check the thread in question (please don't link it here) - he was refunded in full. Other posts on that thread are also incorrect. End of discussion.

----------

Since it requires his signature upon receipt, his parents won't be given the chance to open it themselves.

But even so, that should be of no concern to you. He's taken a thousand dollar computer from you, given you nothing but lame excuses, and a bounced check, giving you, in total, absolutely zilch.

There comes a point when people no longer deserve the benefit of the doubt you might be willing to give them. Your friend, if you can still call him such, has long since reached that point. You need to come to the conclusion that if you want to see even a dime of that money, you'll have to take steps that may very well jeopardize your relationship.

From the way things sound, he isn't worth the worry you've been willingly giving him. If he were a true friend, he never would've put you in this bind to begin with.

Some of the stuff I believe. We used to and sometimes still do, talk daily about random stuff like normal friends would, while typically avoiding the financial issue unless I bring it up. You think that's just a disguise for further manipulation?

 

[Mr. McMac]

Well, did you sue?

Unfortunately I did not sue him. It's been 20 years since I saw the guy and I don't think about it anymore. Here's the deal. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You should have thought of that

 

[Renzatic]

Some of the stuff I believe. We used to and sometimes still do, talk daily about random stuff like normal friends would, while typically avoiding the financial issue unless I bring it up. You think that's just a disguise for further manipulation?

I think he owes you $1000, and has yet to give you a single red cent. In fact, your sale has done nothing but net you a loss.

If he had given you at least something in all this time, something to show he's at least willing to make you whole, I'd be a little more understanding. But...he hasn't. All he's done is given you a cavalier attitude over it all, and a ton of lame excuses. It's time you either sue him civilly, collect the computer, or accept the fact you've been screwed, and move on.

And no, I don't think he's manipulating you. At least not purposefully. Based on everything you've said, I just think he's one of those naturally leechy people. He's not a bad person, per se, but you should never, ever, EVER trust them with any large amounts of money.

 

[cambookpro]

I lend to give a helping hand when asked, typically I oblige but when people break contracts like this, I refuse anything else. The guy is blackmailing at this point (needing another $100 to write the check). He said he didn't know the check was from a closed account, not much more to go off of. I don't know if he did either.

What's that about refusing anything else?

In late August, I had sold him a 13" rMBP for $1000 with a written... *snip*
You probably know where this is going, so I didn't get paid by then.

Okay, so early November, he begs me for $600 as his two bank accounts got hacked (I call BS), I refuse. He calls again a few days later about it, saying he got most of it but needs $100... *snip*
Turns out the check bounced.

I thought everything was good with my friend and he asks me for $20 for a party he's attending, I oblige, but request $5 interest and trust that it'd get paid back in two days, which of course never happens.

I can't really have sympathy in all honesty, you obviously didn't learn your lesson.

 

[yg17]

He blackmailed me into giving him the $100 just to write the (fake) check. Third was a mistake though, admittedly.

He calls again a few days later about it, saying he got most of it but needs $100 with a stipulation that a check for $1100 is written out in my name, cashable a week or two later due to his bank account issue. So that rolls around and he gets into a car accident the day I'm supposed to cash the check (he showed me proof of this, pictures of the car, in the hospital, etc.) so I wait for a response after his short recovery.

I do not see blackmail here. I just see a gullible Squilly handing him another $100.

 

[Squilly]

I do not see blackmail here. I just see a gullible Squilly handing him another $100.

This relates to the two posts above yours but I'll just quote yours. This isn't me just giving him $100. The caviat was give $100 or don't get paid. That's the only way he'd write the check, we did the exchange (check for $1100 for $100) on campus. I call it blackmail now. Making me pay to write a check for mowny he owed me before anyways.

 

[yg17]

This relates to the two posts above yours but I'll just quote yours. This isn't me just giving him $100. The caviat was give $100 or don't get paid. That's the only way he'd write the check, we did the exchange (check for $1100 for $100) on campus. I call it blackmail now. Making me pay to write a check for mowny he owed me before anyways.

That's not blackmail. That's called being an *******.

 

[Squilly]

I'm going to send him a message just stating I need payment by the second week of January as he agreed to before otherwise I'll proceed with further action, or something along those lines.

 

[Renzatic]

That's not blackmail. That's called being an *******.

What he said. It's not blackmail, and he's in no position to make demands. He only does it because he knows you won't retaliate in kind.

Let me tell you a story about someone similar I once knew. I think this guy is considerably worse than your friend, but they do share common traits.

This guy, we'll call him Ass, is what I like to call a sympathy magnet. He was an employee of mine, referred to me by someone I explicitly trust (though tends to be a little too trusting of other people himself). Ass was one of those people who always has a sob story, always in trouble, always asking for help, and always, ALWAYS has an excuse on hand.

Now Ass wanted to buy a nice bed for his wife. Since he has terrible credit (which should've been the first clue as to what I was getting into, c'est la vie), he needed me and my solid credit to cosign for a $1500 loan. At first I refused. No. I'm not gonna do it. I didn't want to do it. But he kept hounding me, over and over and over again, until, finally, I did it just to shut him up. Got him to sign a little waiver, had it notarized, all that good stuff. Then off to the bank we went.

Long story short, Ass is late with the first three payments, then, as far as the bank was concerned, dropped off the face of the earth. For two months, they couldn't get ahold of him. Of course the remaining debt falls on my shoulders.

Know what I did? I bothered him about it at first. Got the usual "Oh, I'll pay it. Just do it this once. Blah blah blah. I'm hurtin', man" both times. I remind him that I'm writing his checks, and know exactly how much he's making, and that he could pay it off quickly. That of course leads to more excuses, "other bills" and whatnot. Needless to say, I got sick of them pretty quick, and decided to do something about it myself. I call the bank, and tell them flat out I wouldn't pay a dime until they repoed the bed and auction it off. Once they did that, I'd pay the remainder.

I could accept having to pay some. It was my mistake to make, and that was the penalty for my stupidity. But I sure as hell wasn't going to let Ass sleep in his nice new bed that I paid for. By that point (and for other reasons), I could barely even tolerate the guy.

Sure enough, not even two weeks pass and he pays the entire damn thing off in one lump sum. ONE. LUMP. SUM. He could afford it. He just didn't want to pay for it.

...then he tried getting revenge for putting him in his place, but that's another very long story for another time.

The point is, as long as you don't do something about it, as long as you continue to let it slide, he'll get his computer, and you'll get nothing but heartache and pain. You need to take some action, or shed your tears, and move on.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

He blackmailed me into giving him the $100 just to write the (fake) check. Third was a mistake though, admittedly.

----------



I don't have much to say to this, mainly as it sounds really complicated, ie. second/third paragraph.

That's not blackmail. That's called being an *******.

Agreed, that is not any sort of dictionary or ordinary definition of blackmail. It is just being deliberately obnoxious and treating you with contempt.

Re my earlier post, the one which you said was complicated, to sum up: Nobody - but nobody - can have your extraordinary financial life story. Or stories. Nobody, that is, not unless you are a dodgy bank, or an even more fishy Government, the sort of bank or Government with the kind of inexplicably ample resources necessary to construct such elaborate financial instruments in offshore accounts, complete with several sets of parallel books and long and winding labyrinthine trails, can have such strange stories to tell.

Okay, re your "friend" (be it 'ex-friend, former friend, classmate, campus creep, whatever….). Why not write him a nice, polite old fashioned letter on paper with a pen requesting clarification - and send it by registered post - i.e. which will require a signature on receipt? Explain that you would like to take this opportunity to clear a few things up, things which are a little puzzling to you at the moment. Ask him whether he intends to pay at all for the computer, - and if the answer is in the affirmative, politely request a possible timetable for repayment - or ask him whether, in fact, he views the computer as a gift? Then, depending on the answer to that, I suggest that you ask him (politely of course) whether he is prepared for it to be viewed as theft, as, should he neglect to come up with options for payment, most regrettably, you may have to begin viewing it in that light as you did not envisage gifting it to him.

Squilly, my final piece of advice to you is this: Under no circumstances should you contemplate a career in high finance or in anything to do with economics or financial affairs. The prospect would be terrifying.

 

[Wiggle]

How about that $200 you scammed from some person on another forum?

Link please? Squilly's character needs context.

 

[Squilly]

What he said. It's not blackmail, and he's in no position to make demands. He only does it because he knows you won't retaliate in kind.

Let me tell you a story about someone similar I once knew. I think this guy is considerably worse than your friend, but they do share common traits.

This guy, we'll call him Ass, is what I like to call a sympathy magnet. He was an employee of mine, referred to me by someone I explicitly trust (though tends to be a little too trusting of other people himself). Ass was one of those people who always has a sob story, always in trouble, always asking for help, and always, ALWAYS has an excuse on hand.

Now Ass wanted to buy a nice bed for his wife. Since he has terrible credit (which should've been the first clue as to what I was getting into, c'est la vie), he needed me and my solid credit to cosign for a $1500 loan. At first I refused. No. I'm not gonna do it. I didn't want to do it. But he kept hounding me, over and over and over again, until, finally, I did it just to shut him up. Got him to sign a little waiver, had it notarized, all that good stuff. Then off to the bank we went.

Long story short, Ass is late with the first three payments, then, as far as the bank was concerned, dropped off the face of the earth. For two months, they couldn't get ahold of him. Of course the remaining debt falls on my shoulders.

Know what I did? I bothered him about it at first. Got the usual "Oh, I'll pay it. Just do it this once. Blah blah blah. I'm hurtin', man" both times. I remind him that I'm writing his checks, and know exactly how much he's making, and that he could pay it off quickly. That of course leads to more excuses, "other bills" and whatnot. Needless to say, I got sick of them pretty quick, and decided to do something about it myself. I call the bank, and tell them flat out I wouldn't pay a dime until they repoed the bed and auction it off. Once they did that, I'd pay the remainder.

I could accept having to pay some. It was my mistake to make, and that was the penalty for my stupidity. But I sure as hell wasn't going to let Ass sleep in his nice new bed that I paid for. By that point (and for other reasons), I could barely even tolerate the guy.

Sure enough, not even two weeks pass and he pays the entire damn thing off in one lump sum. ONE. LUMP. SUM. He could afford it. He just didn't want to pay for it.

...then he tried getting revenge for putting him in his place, but that's another very long story for another time.

The point is, as long as you don't do something about it, as long as you continue to let it slide, he'll get his computer, and you'll get nothing but heartache and pain. You need to take some action, or shed your tears, and move on.

As you said, definitely similar people. I can't just get someone to take the computer and sell it to get paid though and it would be less than our contract states. At one point, he asked me to cosign a student loan for him for $5000 to pay off some of his debts. I said no, as much as he begged, after doing my due diligence online.
Funny the bank hacking was never brought up much in this thread. One thing about that I completely forgot to mention is the bank won't cover what isn't his fault. Almost every bank offers Zero Liability protection, which both times, he says he wasn't covered for. Again, I call BS.
You're right, he knows I won't do anything so he's being laid back about it. I'm about to now though.

----------

How about that $200 you scammed from some person on another forum?

Link please? Squilly's character needs context.

Please, out of respect, do not give the link.

----------

Agreed, that is not any sort of dictionary or ordinary definition of blackmail. It is just being deliberately obnoxious and treating you with contempt.

Re my earlier post, the one which you said was complicated, to sum up: Nobody - but nobody - can have your extraordinary financial life story. Or stories. Nobody, that is, not unless you are a dodgy bank, or an even more fishy Government, the sort of bank or Government with the kind of inexplicably ample resources necessary to construct such elaborate financial instruments in offshore accounts, complete with several sets of parallel books and long and winding labyrinthine trails, can have such strange stories to tell.

You don't have to believe my stories. I know they sound a bit out of the ordinary. Nor should I have to prove to you that they're legitimate though. I wouldn't make this up.

Okay, re your "friend" (be it 'ex-friend, former friend, classmate, campus creep, whatever….). Why not write him a nice, polite old fashioned letter on paper with a pen requesting clarification - and send it by registered post - i.e. which will require a signature on receipt? Explain that you would like to take this opportunity to clear a few things up, things which are a little puzzling to you at the moment. Ask him whether he intends to pay at all for the computer, - and if the answer is in the affirmative, politely request a possible timetable for repayment - or ask him whether, in fact, he views the computer as a gift? Then, depending on the answer to that, I suggest that you ask him (politely of course) whether he is prepared for it to be viewed as theft, as, should he neglect to come up with options for payment, most regrettably, you may have to begin viewing it in that light as you did not envisage gifting it to him.

I have the conversations that prove he was willing to pay, as well as an argument from late November when I requested the laptop back. He said no, needed it for DJ events and school and *guilt trip* he'd fail his classes without it (why is that my fault or responsibility?). Still waiting for it.

Squilly, my final piece of advice to you is this: Under no circumstances should you contemplate a career in high finance or in anything to do with economics or financial affairs. The prospect would be terrifying.

I've considered a major in both.

 

[yg17]

Please, out of respect, do not give the link.

If you were involved in scamming someone, I don't think you deserve the respect.

 

[Wiggle]

Please, out of respect, do not give the link.

You asked for advice. i don't know you. In order to provide further advice, I'd like to see the link as a "character witness" to see what kind of person you are outside of these forums. Otherwise you could be completely full of it. I'd like to see exactly how clever you are if you've been accused of scamming others out of $200. Besides, what are you so afraid of?

 

[Squilly]

You asked for advice. i don't know you. In order to provide further advice, I'd like to see the link as a "character witness" to see what kind of person you are outside of these forums. Otherwise you could be completely full of it. I'd like to see exactly how clever you are if you've been accused of scamming others out of $200. Besides, what are you so afraid of?

My character shouldn't be proven by something from years ago, and refunded at that.

 

[SandboxGeneral]

Mod note:

Thread is now closed.

Squilly, once again, you've posed a problem of yours and have received numerous pieces of advice. We don't know what the answer is you're looking for but there is enough information for you to take away a solution here.

There is nothing more this thread can accomplish for you.