Life's in a rut

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by dukebound85, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. dukebound85 macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level
    It's been 7.5 months

    I'm not happy

    I have no life outside of work.

    I try doing stuff but I always do it alone as I have no friends.

    I go play basketball but always by myself.

    Cant play catch with anyone

    can't go golf with people

    can't go to a theme park with anyone

    Work is ok but not enticing

    No one to hang out with outside of work

    No one to talk to in person

    Im homesick

    I have no idea what I want to do with my life

    My car leaks oil

    Had an awkward date......

    hurts my psychie more than i thought,

    even if we didnt mash well

    Maybe no one likes me

    Maybe there is a problem with me

    Chances are there is

    ill just live alone

    may as well

    only one who gets me is me

    I dont want to go to work tomorrow

    I need to go to work tomorrow

    I want to take a mental health day

    No, make that a mental health month

    I have no friends in this godforsaken state

    This community is my only vent avenue

    really sucks when i get a temporary ban as then i have no solace when i get home

    maybe im addicted to mr

    maybe im not

    maybe i dont know where else to go

    maybe im foolish for posting this

    perhaps i no longer care

    im homesick

    i have no sense of fulfillment

    i dont know what to do about it

    my job is the only tie to this place

    should that be the only reason for being out here

    i dont think it should

    why did i ever do this

    i cant afford to move home

    im homesick

    i feel i post these "pity" threads more than id like

    i feel no matter your response, it wont help

    why do i bother posting

    why do i bother seeking advice

    i have no idea

    maybe its just to write it out

    im sorry for making you read this

    the ramblings of my mind..

    ill regret this thread when i wake up tomorrow

    screw it, people dont care

    only people who will look after me is me

    maybe i just need to learn this

    i will never leave my comfort zone again

    have a good night
  2. jmann macrumors 604


    Dec 8, 2007
    bump on a log in a hole in the bottom of the sea
    Life is a bitch™ and then you die. Get out and make friends. :) Talk, mingle, connect. You have to have a few friends.
  3. lancestraz macrumors 6502a


    Nov 27, 2005
    If I lived in NY I'd be your friend.

    Maybe join a basketball club?
  4. Love macrumors 68000


    Jan 20, 2007
    Just southeast of Northwestshire
    If you don't mind me asking, why did you move?
  5. dukebound85 thread starter macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level
    job opportunity

    no good offers in co

    have to pay loans

    have to pay bills

    forced into servitude
  6. Love macrumors 68000


    Jan 20, 2007
    Just southeast of Northwestshire
  7. nanofrog macrumors G4

    May 6, 2008
    How long have you been in NY?
  8. dukebound85 thread starter macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level
    Work friends and all are my parents age, with families

    area is very "old" demographic wise

    not young person friendly

    all my good friends are back home

    since beg of feb
  9. Love macrumors 68000


    Jan 20, 2007
    Just southeast of Northwestshire
    Damn, that's a terrible situation to be in. I feel for you. :(
  10. dukebound85 thread starter macrumors P6


    Jul 17, 2005
    5045 feet above sea level

    im greatful for my job just that life outside of work is horrible
  11. Tomorrow macrumors 604


    Mar 2, 2008
    Always a day away
    Hey duke, aren't you a mechanical engineer? What kind of work are you in?

    I can't promise anything, but if you're interested I think I know of some folks - business associates - that might be able to put out some feelers.

    But seriously, this is not your first post along these lines; you haven't seemed happy in NY for a long time, if ever. You might seriously consider a change in scenery. Let me know if you want me to contact anybody for you.
  12. sushi Moderator emeritus


    Jul 19, 2002
    Only you can choose to be happy or not.

    Try to focus on the good things in your life. You are blessed and have many things to be thankful for.

    One of my favorite quotes. :)

    It's true -- especially at certain times in one's life.

    Sage advice.
  13. barkomatic macrumors 68040

    Aug 8, 2008
    Would you ever consider moving to NYC? Plenty of young, single people here and you'd definately have a "life". Or, if NYC is not your thing, what about another city?

    You can lead a life of indentured servitude anywhere reallly. Use your mental health day to look for jobs.
  14. charlesbronsen macrumors 6502a


    Oct 22, 2008
    Toronto, Ont
    that was a good read. I really enjoyed it! I can relate somewhat. "True happiness comes from within" That's what I keep telling myself anyway
  15. dmr727 macrumors G3


    Dec 29, 2007
    Southern California
    Didn't you want to learn how to fly? Learning something new is a good way to get out of a rut, and I'm sure you'll meet new people around the airport.

    Just a thought.
  16. iShater macrumors 604


    Aug 13, 2002
  17. maflynn Moderator


    Staff Member

    May 3, 2009
    I hear ya,
    I moved to a different area of my state and have yet to make any new friends. The folks my age where I live prefer doing stuff that I don't, i.e., drink and party etc, etc. That's not something I do, in fact I generally don't drink. So that limits my social interactions to 0.
  18. michael.lauden macrumors 68020


    Dec 25, 2008
  19. iPhone 62S macrumors 6502a

    iPhone 62S

    Aug 18, 2009
    You don't need friends and stuff to be happy, find something you can do on your own that you enjoy and do it.

    I have very few friends and am doing programming at the moment for the App Store. Are you into that? Do you like computer games? Find a hobby and do it, keep yourself occupied. If you keep thinking about not having friends then it will obviously affect you.

    As for dates, just wait until someone you get along with cones along. It'll happen.

    And anyway, you will eventually make friends anyway.
  20. MoleSkine macrumors member

    Jun 30, 2009
    New York!
    Hey Duke -

    I live in NYC but I have outgrown my friends. Going to a lounge getting retard drunk or going to eat Thai every weekend ( I HATE thai!!!) isn't my form of fun any longer.

    I sit home. ALOT. I go to movies by myself. Go walk around by myself. Do everything by myself. My phone doesn't ring unless its good ole mommy asking me if she can bring me food :eek:

    Sometimes I'm like good thing Im doing this by myself (say shopping where I dont have to wait for another girl to make her purchase and try every shirt on -Im a quick shopper). Sometimes it gets rather frustrating tho. People have their hang out pics on social sites and Im like UGH F- U.

    I dont have a bf/gf - kuz where the hek am I supposed to meet people? I dont go out anywhere - I also dont enjoy bars etc.

    I think Im deciding that for whatever reason, at this time - I have all this solitude around me. Looking back, I did have these periods and they come and gone.

    I hope this helps.
  21. maflynn Moderator


    Staff Member

    May 3, 2009
    Try signing up to eharmony or one of those other sites.

    I'd do that myself but wife is kind of funny about me dating - go figure :eek:
  22. Antares macrumors 68000


    Duke, your post is almost like a poem. A narrative on dissatisfaction. A sad person's tome.

    What words could I have, that others didn't say? Find friends, start dating? No, perhaps moving is the only way.

    New York, as a State, is truly a beast. Beautiful for some, empty for others. But for those without work, you have a job, at least.

    There are always options, for you to take. Join a club, a singles group or just "eff it" and leave. The choice is yours to make.

    Looking for a job could be rather tough. The market is grim. Any type of change would be rough.

    Though, no matter what, something is quite clear. You need a revolution. Your life needs to veer.
  23. leekohler macrumors G5


    Dec 22, 2004
    Chicago, Illinois
    Duke- did the military end up not appealing to you? I really think you need to look into that more. Either that, or see if you can transfer to NYC. You'd make friends there fast. I have tons of friends there and I don't even live there.
  24. pb1300 macrumors 6502a

    Feb 29, 2008
    Aigio, Greece
    I feel ya brother. I moved here (Greece) June of last year. Ive been here nearly every summer of my life, and I have a lot of family here. I got the same feelings you did early on. Pretty much all of last summer, I went to the beach alone. I had a few people that I was friends with, but no one to really hang out with. I had no job, and I was contemplating on whether to move back or not. But after opening up a little, and getting more use to the language, things started to change. Ive been able to make some more friends, I got a pretty good job, and things are just looking up in general. The point is is that life is like a roller coaster; we all have our ups and downs. Its good to get things off the chest, but dont let these things bother you. You have to make the best out of the situation.
  25. TheSVD macrumors 6502a


    Sep 3, 2008
    The Jolly Ol' Midlands, England
    ahh man :(
    there has ot be something good though? no friends from your workplace?

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