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Life's in a rut

jmann said:
Life is a bitch™ and then you die.
Click to expand...

Wow, how coincidental that the song 'Life's a bitch' by Nas from the album I just downloaded came on when I read your post, haha :D

To the OP, take all the advice found in this thread. Join a club, or learn a new skill, you can always meet new friends there. Good luck, and please don't turn to self harm.
 
Duke, I feel for you...that sounds really tough. I went through something similar when I moved back to NJ a few years ago, since I hadn't kept in touch with a single person from HS and so didn't know a soul in NJ who wasn't relate to me.

What turned the corner for me was joining a rugby team. I had played in college, and playing again (even though I spent more time warming the bench than scrumming) gave me a group of people to hang with and things to do on weekends. And slowly I developed real friendships on the team, not just "people to be around".

I'm not advocating you take up rugby (though it is an INCREDIBLY social sport, and it's pretty much instant community), but pick your favorite sport and find a team or two. Worst case, put an ad up on Craigslist in your area looking for a team for your favorite sport.

Sports helps because there's an immediate common bond between you and your teammates, AND you get moving and keep in shape. Win-win!
 
I mentioned to others, look into dancing:

Swing Dancing: http://havetodance.com/outsidne.html
Salsa Dancing
Argentine Tango Dancing (this takes awhile to learn for guys)

I am sort of in the same boat. DC area are mostly old folks.

Maybe look into building a web site? I started mine 2 months ago, on famous mac users: ObamaPacman.com
 
You've got to find your passion . . . whether it's your work or your leisure. That will attract other people to you.


.
 
Man... I wish i lived in NY, you are lucky! Cheer up now. :) You should just go out more, start a new hobby or something... Let us know how your doing.
 
Trust me, I'm basically the same way.

I want to move back to my old house, and go to my old school, where all my friends are.

Girl I like goes there, and I see her basically never, who's also one of my closest friends.

I hate my new school.
I hate the people at my new school.

After school, I come home, and basically stay home all day.
I'm focusing on my education while I have to go to this dreaded school though.
 
That sucks dude!

Hope everything gets sorted.. But you did mention you were homesick, I've been in a rut as well.. in a relationship that was wrong from the start and i didn't see my friends that much. Now i'm building relationships backup with friends. i would suggest that you maybe join groups. I'm luckily a good singer and actor so i'm into amateur Dramatics, so most of my new friendships come from there. If you're not into that then go to the gym.. you're be surprised if you go a lot you'll see the same people everyday and start talking to them. Go to excercise classes etc. There is a good website I use.. I suppose it could be classed as a self improvement website - www.zenhabits.net, have a look some of the articles. Why not look for another job? maybe it's time to move and get out of your rut.. Only you can help yourself but we'll certainly try our best!

take care
 
As Lee mentioned, what about the service? A bunch of guys in the same boat - instant friends. Gives you a few years to figure out what you want to do. Heck, you just might like it.

Or you could just get a puppy.:p
 
Seriously Duke... :(

We've been down this road before with other threads and your not going to get any new advice in this one. If your just looking to vent then that's totally cool, but the facts remain the same.

There are two types of people in this world, those that let life happen to them and those that take charge of life and live it to the fullest. There's no magic pill and no perfect set of circumstances is going to come along that makes everything better. The only thing you have control over is yourself. If you don't like how things are going then do something about it. In this thread you stated that "lack of motivation" was a big part of your problem. No one can change that but you.

You have a lot of friends here and we all believe in you. I hope you can feel that and that it will help support you in making efforts. :)
 
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