Also a 40+ wrinkly in the twilight of his years, but not very lonely - with pretty long breaks between relationships these days. I think the only solution is to get yourself out there, but not to try too hard.
I'm not sure what you do for work, but having it run your life while you're salaried really doesn't make sense especially in the position you seem to be. If you're self employed or a senior executive, etc the story might be slightly different but still, you should make time to go out if you crave a relationship. That, or find someone you like at work - although this might not work out all the time.