trevor asks:
"Is there anyone out there with a 2018 Mac mini running Monterey that IS able to use the HDMI port?"
Yes.
I do.
I have a 2018 Mac Mini. I normally use Mojave with it, but I do keep an external SSD that has a copy of Monterey on it.
I have a Viewsonic VX2770Smh-LED 27" (1080p) display connected via HDMI (Mini end) to DVI (display end) connection.
I've noticed (during Mojave as well as with Monterey) that is ALWAYS "goes black" for a moment during the bootup process, BUT, it ALWAYS "comes back on".
No problems, it's just the way it goes. It's been working like this for three years now.
Having said that, before I went with HDMI-DVI, I was having some problems with HDMI to HDMI. Now and then, the display would go dark... and STAY that way.
Switching to HDMI-DVI cured that (see above).
And having said THAT, it's worth noting that the OP started this thread 'way back in January 2020.
Back then, his complaint was that although he had the display working one way, it did not work another way.
My advice to him at the time was to "use the connection method that worked" and ignore the one that didn't (see reply 7 'way back in this thread).
He seemed to refuse, and kept complaining that Apple should fix this so that the setup he had (with his particular display and connecting cables) would work.
As I predicted, that never happened.
There will be "no further fixes" for the 2018 Mac Mini, insofar as video is concerned.
It is what it is.