FINALLY!!!! Some common sense on this issue. I hate that it's taken as gospel that a unified UI is a good thing that "we're all hoping for". It's an extremely bad thing if you actually pause and think about it. Sure, Exposé does well enough if you're a graphic designer and all your windows are easily distinguishable, distinct images, but what if you're a programmer or writer who works all day with text? Tiger's several UIs make selecting windows, whether in Exposé or not, much easier. As someone who has to toggle between XP and OS X every day, I can verify having multiple UIs in a single OS is far superior and a great time saver.
I agree 100% with you. I like being able to tell applications apart from each other by the looks. I even like pinstripes and brushed metal if it's not over done. Some applications have a lot of empty space in brusheh metal, or even the whole preference window in brushed metal... For Finder and iCal brushed metal is fine. I wish they kept it in iTunes though...
Right now in Tiger, the window with the focus has usually a darker title bar and colored traffic light buttons and scroll bars (except in the graphite theme of course). But not all applications adhere to that scheme. iTunes for example stays the same color, only the traffic light buttons and the scroll bars fade out when not in focus. Look at the Flicker pictures. They look alright in my opinion. The screenshots mirrored here have sharp corners because the screenshot tool in Leopard apparently only takes one layer of a window. The windows in OSX are actually rendered like this, then the alpha channel layer cuts away the corners and makes things translucent, and another layer adds shadows to the window. I guess the engineers had to rewrite the windowing engine completely to make it all core animation and resolution independent. The icons and buttons change daily at Apple internally. There are a lot of people working on getting everything high resolution (400 dpi). It's more complicated than you think.
The interface will probably change often until final release but may not be included in the developer builds because it would be additional effort from Apple and wouldn't help the developers in any way. So don't worry too much about such minor things like shades of gray on title bars... Those things are usually decided just before release. Be happy you have Tiger for now, it's still better than Vista