Tim: Hey Jony, I want you to come by my office say, 3 o'clock April 10 (tomorrow's apple watch opening day). Do you think you have some time?
Ive: sure Tim, let me reschedule that meeting with Phil on how to market to everyone who buys an rMB why they will need TWO adapters.
Tim: Yes, regarding that issue, can you get Angela on speaker call as well after our meeting, i'll tell you when we meet.
Ive: What's this about, I'm starting to get a sense you are concerned about something?
Tim: yes, Jony, it's just bothering me when i lay down to sleep at night. In fact, my apple watch actually notifies me that I am not sleeping well at night...
Ive: What's the problem - why don't we talk now?
Tim: (standing in the hallway; pulls Jony to an empty office): Jony, I don't know how to put it to you in a way that won't hurt our relationship...
Ive: (flummoxed by the look on Tim's face): Tim, we can talk about anything. You know after Jobs' departure, we have been hand holding and we are in this journey together...
Tim: I'll get right to the point - Have you see the reviews regarding the rMB? Have you seen the reviews regarding the apple watch? I'll let the apple watch go for now...but the issues with the new rMB really have me concerned. In fact, when you brought it to me 8 months ago and I said yes, eureka, this is it! I wasn't so sure before launch day and in fact during the keynote, I tried my best to praise this device and pretend its as great as the MBAir.
Ive: (looking at Tim without even blinking once): Tim, you signed off on this project from the moment I showed you. Look at that interview from one of the employees who was laughing hysterically. Did you base your concerns on that particular video or is this something personal?
Tim: I've seen that video and I don't care if that employee is 95% correct, it will make us rich no doubt - my concern is you shouldn't of made it so thin. I mean i have to run this by Phil to somehow have him spin this off magically to people so they will buy adapters. I know this quarters profits will skyrocket on just the adapters alone but I'm concerned with the future of these laptops. They are just too thin...
Ive: This is rich, Tim. Coming from a typical bean counter like yourself, you should be on bended kneed sucking me off right now if it weren't for my genius of making the new rMB require extra adapters to do the most basic things, you'd be looking at a declining profit margin at apple. I swear to Jobs' right before he left us, he told me specifically to be balls deep in any design I come up with. Now I get this crap from you?!
Tim: Jony, alright, I'll wait until you are calm and we can continue this topic. In the mean time, meet with Phil we really need his help to sell more adapters. Didn't you tell me we will remove the headphone jack from the next iPad AIR?
Ive: That's correct, we will remove the headphone jack on the next iPad air and in order to charge the device while we use the headphone, we will require an adapter. Phil is writing up the marketing script for that one right now.
Tim: Good grief (while chuckling), at this rate, we will probably make more money selling adapters than we do apps.
Ive: Well, you worry about how to get those chinamen to produce more iPhones. I will continue to produce thinner laptops because I'm the man for this job. as for that apple watch, samsung's COO texted me; he said was it ok to copy that watch design. I said what do you think? You didn't ask me when you made that S6.
Tim: (laughing out loud): Jony, i know you are not happy about Samsung stealing the design but seriously, how was it possible they made it thinner than your iPhone 6 design?!
Ive: (turns away and walks down the hallway)...